i just need to let off steam.

[Lau88]

Hi everyone, don't really expect replies I just need to let it all out somewhere. I have a gorgeous two year old and am currently ttc, I don't hold much hope on being successful as dd is the miracle child I was told I'd never have due to issues on my part. My friend who also has a child around the same age and is pregnant. I'm really pleased for my friend, but, and here's where I sound like a terrible person I don't want to hear about the pregnancy. She knows all my troubles and that we're ttc, but since finding out its the topic of pretty much every conversation. This is her second "accident" and she's surprised even though she absolutely never uses protection. She can barely stand the sight of her oh, financially it's not looking good and on the home front she has nowhere so why protection wasn't used when she said another child wasn't an option I just don't know. I just feel like it's being rubbed in my face, I've distanced myself but I keep getting messages and honestly it hurts knowing what oh and I are going through. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous, I am pleased for her I'd just welcome some desegregation. I don't need things like "you just need to hurry up and get pregnant now" especially when she wasn't acting all that thrilled when I told her I was ttc a few months a go. I know I sound horrible but honestly I just can't help it, I don't want to lose a friend over this but at the same time I dread any message I get from her right now.

 

[LittleLala]

Oh I'm so sorry, I know the feeling. It's so frustrating. I know the feelin of opening a message like that and just wanting to scream back at them. Seriously. When someone knows the troubles you are going through ttc, and they suddenly get pregnant by accident and their attitude changes to "hurry up and get pregnant with meeee" it is just so frustrating. I have wanted to slap one girl I know lol. How bad is that?
It is so hard to try to get pregnant, only to watch people around you get pregnant first (who are all just so open about it being an accident!!) and then watch them as they end up having their children and in the meanwhile I am still not pregnant...

This is a good place to vent. I hope your friend realises that she's not really acting like a friend to you.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

Only is TTC ladies can understand what its like to be happy for someone but somewhat bitter and resentful at the same time. I totally get it. My brother and his gf started TTC at the sme time as me and fell immediately. While im happy thy are expanding their family which in turn is my family, I wish it had been me. I dare say they no nothing about the cycle etc whereas I research everything. I will be extra bitter of they have a girl, there's only 1girl so far and shes nearly 5, there are 3 boys, i wud like to make mine the next girl. I will feel if i get pregnant soon and they have a girl and i do that somehow it will make my pregnancy and my girl less special to other people, obviously im being completely stupif and besides, im not even guaranteed a girl for god sake lol.
We can be irrational and bitter but what makes us TTC ladies so special is we understand each other and how we feel. Rant away my love xx

 

[Lau88]

Thank you so much for your replies, it really means a lot knowing I'm not alone or just being a bitch. I just feel well wheres a little bit of thought for me because I know if it were the other way around I'd be expected to barely breech the subject. But of course you can't say anything because you're just the jealous cow being mean to the pregnant lady and her hormones to everyone else.

Its so nice speaking to people that understand xx

 

[Radkat]

Hi everyone, don't really expect replies I just need to let it all out somewhere. I have a gorgeous two year old and am currently ttc, I don't hold much hope on being successful as dd is the miracle child I was told I'd never have due to issues on my part. My friend who also has a child around the same age and is pregnant. I'm really pleased for my friend, but, and here's where I sound like a terrible person I don't want to hear about the pregnancy. She knows all my troubles and that we're ttc, but since finding out its the topic of pretty much every conversation. This is her second "accident" and she's surprised even though she absolutely never uses protection. She can barely stand the sight of her oh, financially it's not looking good and on the home front she has nowhere so why protection wasn't used when she said another child wasn't an option I just don't know. I just feel like it's being rubbed in my face, I've distanced myself but I keep getting messages and honestly it hurts knowing what oh and I are going through. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous, I am pleased for her I'd just welcome some desegregation. I don't need things like "you just need to hurry up and get pregnant now" especially when she wasn't acting all that thrilled when I told her I was ttc a few months a go. I know I sound horrible but honestly I just can't help it, I don't want to lose a friend over this but at the same time I dread any message I get from her right now.

I would say if this friend knows about your troubles TTC, she is being insensitive. That being said, it's hard to know what others are going through, so maybe she needs you to let her know that it's hard for you to hear so much about her pregnancy. Maybe you could let her know the comments about "hurry up and get pregnant" are hard for you to hear, since that's what you're trying to do. You could let her know that talking about your current children is great, but it's hard to hear about the pregnancy stuff. However, keep in mind, that is her life right now, so you may have to distance yourself in the meantime. Doesn't mean you lose her as a friend. Just get some distance. Good luck, sweetie.

 

[4mb3r]

I totally understand(as will many of us also ttc). Ive had similar feelings towards a couple of friends of mine actually.. It seems like ever since we have started trying, everyone around us has gotten pregnant EXCEPT us. And none of them where even "trying".. But im still very happy for them though. It just gets frustrating because its what we want as well but it just isnt happening so far. Just give it time. Fingers crossed for another miracle baby!