I lied :S

[bitethebullet]

My doctor was really nice actually. When I had my appointment with her just to get the pregnancy confirmed, I said that I was really paranoid because I'd had a miscarriage before and because it had taken 3 years to fall pregnant. She actually asked me if I would like an early reassurance scan, to which I said yes (but it was annoying because I'd already booked an early scan privately - but I thought 2 scans is better than none). My appointment never came through though and I didn't bother chasing because I'd had my private one.

So I don't blame you for lying, but I probably would have said that I wasn't sure when my last period was so they would book me in for a dating scan. Because obviously when you go for your 12 week scan (when you will be only 8 weeks), they are going to say that your baby is measuring way behind what you think which might make them think there could be a problem with baby. But obviously you will know so you can tell them that you had a funny period that last month or something like that x

You see it seems that there's a bit of a difference in the way people are treated in different parts of the country. My GP was also very nice and I was actually surprised to be offered a scan. When I went for the scan the waiting room was empty so perhaps this is the benefit of living in a relatively small town with its own maternity unit.

While I don't condone people making up symptoms in order to be seen, I really do not believe in 'tempting fate' or 'jinxing' either. No one should feel like they've caused a MC to happen because they've cried wolf in the past!

 

[Athomemum]

I think the point is that you're not the only nervous , pregnant woman with a history of pregnancy related problems who doesn't have the money to go private. And whether you wantto believe it or not, if loads of people start telling little white lies to get what they want, i can guarantee that it has a knock on affect on other pregnant women, the ones who will be waiting well over 12 weeks to feel reassured.

FTR, i don't think it makes you a bad person, your concerns are understandable. However, i do think it's self important that you feel you need this scan more that anyone else.

 

[Athomemum]

If I'm honest I wouldn't have lied, I totally understand your worries as I had a private early scan at 9 weeks, but now you won't be able to have your 12 week scan now with your screenings etc because I think if you have an early scan they then make you wait until the anomoly scan at 20 weeks. (I don't know this as fact just what I've heard). I'm not judging you or saying you are wrong, but I think I'd rather see the baby at 12 weeks than 8 or 9 as there is so much more to see. xx

That's not neccessarily true, the OP will have another scan at 12 weeks as the sonographer can't take the Correct measurements that early. I know a few people (myself included)who this has happened to.

 

[SleepyBaby]

some people in here are saying im wrong for getting an earlier scan by talking down my Af.. because of the effects it has on the NHS and on other mums to be?

im sorry but are you being serious? the nhs can handle it they do it daily for people who dont know there LMP's and other mums to be wont even notice it surely? how would they? 10 mins for a scan should disrupt the whole system? would it?

 

[SabrinaKat]

Could you afford to pay for a private scan?

In my case, a mc at 7-8wks in August 2009 and two years of trying had my GP reach for the phone to arrange an appointment in the early pregnancy scan at the Rotunda in Dublin. We had decided to go private anyway (due to terrible mismanagement of previous mc at another hospital), but my GP wanted to reassure us just as much as we needed the reassurance!

I don't think you are tempting fate, but it will be tricky at the scan because the technician will date you wrong and what should be a happy occasion will be fraught with tears, worry and upset.

best wishes

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Don't worry about it. Once the scan is done they will correctly date things, no harm done. The early scan debate is a difficult one. Generally if you say you are unsure of your dates (don't remember when your LMP was), you had spotting or bleeding with cramps, etc, they should give you an early scan. Good luck with your scan, once they say your further back just say 'well I had spotting but never thought it was a period'. No harm done

 

[leahtaba]

People with only money to burn should be reassured?

that's extremely judgmental for someone who's moaning about being judged
I had to pay £70 I did not have for my early scan because I needed the reassurance and wasn't prepared to lie. I certainly don't have money to burn!!!!!

 

[Mindy_mini]

Paying for an early scan is ok when you have the money to do so, I don't so that wasn't a route i could have went down.

You think early scans should go to people who are really in need of it, if they are bleeding etc

but not if they are worried about it 24/7 because of previous problems? Last time i was pregnant, i miscarried, alone, in my bathroom at 2.30am, everyone i know at that time was sleeping, knowing everything is alright will help me sleep at night and if not at least i can make sure i wouldn't be on my own.

Surely if people are asking for early scans when they dont need them, this means other people's normal scans (12wks etc) are put back due to increased workloads of the people doing the scans in NHS?

other people normal scans, i can assure you will not be delayed more than 10 mins, the paperwork that will be done, would need to have been done anyway so i don't see where the workload would be increased

You are not going to see a heartbeat at 5 weeks so is it really going to reassure you that everything will be ok?

at 5 weeks no, but im past 5 weeks already im 5+4 going by the kinda AF i had end of jan start of feb so prob bit more, at 8/9 weeks when i will get the appointment seeing babys heartbeat will reassure me alot.

thought id answer this reply as it seemed kinda judgey to me, i may be being over sensitive but .. yeah

Im being selfish? how? how am i putting myself infront of other people? because i cannot afford the money to go privet? Only people with money to burn should be reassured?

I'm sorry but your comments have angered me. In sorry you had a previous miscarriage, im sorry you're worrying this time round but you think women who havent had a MC don't worry? I suffered with anxiety in the past and it came back during the first trimester for both my pregnancies and I wouldn't sleep for nights on end thinking my baby had died but I didnt lie to get an early scan. I paid for a scan. We didn't "have" the money but we saved in other areas just to put my mind at rest with my second pregnancy.

Your statement saying an early scan wont affect routine scanning is utterly rediculous! Of course it will affect things. My hospital always has a back log for scans - I had to wait for my 12wk scan both times and the second time they moved my edd forward a few days and then said they didnt have any appointments for NT scans within the time limit. I had to go private to get the scan. In saying an emergency scan isn't going to affect routine scans by more than 10mins is assuming only one lady has an unsceduled reassurance scan a day. Clearly there will be more women seeking reasurrance than just one (in your eyes - you)

You're at no more of a risk of mc the next woman having had one previous mc and being harsh a scan at 8/9wks doesn't guarantee a healthy pregnancy. Pregnancies do mc between 8-12wks.

so if you're looking for affirmation that you did the right thing in lying then you arent going to find this From me.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but you're attitude is very me me me and you can't see outside the box at all.

As for your criticism of how you were treated last time, I'm sorry you feel that you were badly treated but at 5wks there is nothing they could have done to prevent your loss and a scan wouldn't have confirmed if you were miscarrying or not so I can understand why they didn't scan you.

If you need that reassurance so badly You should have found the cash for a private scan or assumed that unless something happens your pregnancy is progressing nicely.

 

[bevan88]

I understand, I suffered a MMC 2.5 yrs ago, not a pleasent experiance, catolouge of errors in the way it was handled e.t.c.. (other posts about this back in Sept,Oct, Nov and Dec 2009!)

But at the time I felt it was wrong it never felt right to me, I was sent for a scan at 7 weeks- all O.K but I knew it wasnt, then at 11+4 I started to bleed, and the baby had all but dissapeared just the sac continuing to grow....!

Any how, I am pregnant again, after only 2 months of TTC, or may be 1? but I have an early scan tomorow for reassurance which I asked for, I went to my GP and said I am worried, its probably just a bit of constipation but I am driving myself mad (which I am but deep down feel all is o.k). So to stop me going mad I am being given a reassurance scan-- I know that even if all is O.K it could still go wrong, but the scan hopefully will calm my nerves a little and confirm that I am right about my due dates, My GP thinks I may be 10+ weeks, as I got a BFP within 3 weeks of what I beleive to be my LMP 22/01 but he thinks perhaps 25/12 was LMP, I ovulate early so I think I am 8 weeks tomorrow--all will be shown tomorrow I hope.

Any how I am rambling, my point is I understand why you lied, When I made the apt with my GP, I already had looked into private early scans and decided that if I was not able to get one via the NHS I would pay, However given my history and pains (likely full of poop!) I was offered a scan.

I understand why you did what you did, I would never judge anyone, you do what is right for you and only you--cause no one else will! You have to shout up, if you cant afford a private scan you maybe have to shout louder for help. But youe emotional well being is just as important as physical- if you feel you need an early scan -Then you need an ealry scan simple!

Good luck with everything.

Plus even though you get an early scan at say 7,8 weeks--- you will still get your 12 week one as this is the routine one for tests e.t.c.n So you wont miss out!

I am a little outradged by some of the coments on tempting fate e.t.c.... as If i get a bad feeling it may all go wrong again due to the wounds of my last loss I may be tempting fate by seeking reassurance this time round! CRAP!

Fate is fate, what will be will be, its how we deal with it that matters, so early scan white lies asking outright being a bit cheeky to get what you need, which ever way you have to do what you have to do for yourself.

Soz if post is long, was just reading and had to log in to rant after reading all these posts!

 

[aliss]

some people in here are saying im wrong for getting an earlier scan by talking down my Af.. because of the effects it has on the NHS and on other mums to be?

im sorry but are you being serious? the nhs can handle it they do it daily for people who dont know there LMP's and other mums to be wont even notice it surely? how would they? 10 mins for a scan should disrupt the whole system? would it?

Do you think that one little fib doesn't matter to an entire health system? Think again. I hope you understand now that there's a decent chance that they aren't going to take you as seriously in the future and you WILL be flagged on your maternity file for lying to get services earlier than required. If you don't admit it, then you're going to waste a lot of people's time trying to figure out why your baby isn't growing properly.

Has it occurred to you that they will now likely have to book yet another ultrasound at the real 12 weeks for NT testing etc. Maybe, maybe not. If they do, you've just taken up another space for someone who needs an ultrasound too. You realize that pregnancy is not the only reason for ultrasound? That some people's life threatening conditions are detected too? I waited 11 hours to get an emergency one once for severe bleeding... hey, what's another hour for me? After all, YOU are impatient so that's more important.

I had an MC at 9 weeks only 3 months ago and I still have to wait until 10-12 weeks for my ultrasound. Such is life. ONE miscarriage, while tragic for many, does not justify lying because you want your maternity services faster.

Is that being judgmental? I don't care. If I can't be judgmental about someone being impatient and not caring about taking away resources for genuinly sick people, then what can I be?

I'm sorry that you feel you are justified and I'm sorry to hear that some people actually support you in that.

 

[leahtaba]

there is a back log of scans in my area too! when i went for my private scan a woman was there paying £75 for her 12 weeks scan as there were no dates available and they were making her wait until 20 weeks! I couldn't believe it, luckily that didn't happen to me!

 

[leahtaba]

I am a little outradged by some of the coments on tempting fate e.t.c.... as If i get a bad feeling it may all go wrong again due to the wounds of my last loss I may be tempting fate by seeking reassurance this time round! CRAP!

Fate is fate, what will be will be, its how we deal with it that matters, so early scan white lies asking outright being a bit cheeky to get what you need, which ever way you have to do what you have to do for yourself.

the tempting fate quotes were aimed at the woman who told her to lie and pretend she was having an eptopic to get scanned, not at OP

 

[Athomemum]

I was only talking about tempting fate about pretending you have pains in your side (ie having an eptopic pregnancy) to get scan. It's disgusting.

 

[x melanie x]

You have posted on here asking other ladies if they would have lied like you have, you therefore cannot get defensive when others say they wouldn't have, and give you their reasons. You even said yourself you feel bad.

You've done what you've felt you you needed to. I have had 4 previous m/c and panic everytime I go to the loo. I have not lied to get an early scan and wouldn't dream of doing so.

You mention 10 mins wouldn't have an impact on the NHS, but imagine if all of us that have had early m/c did what you have done, that would add up to an awful lot of time, and of course it would impact on other women.

 

[xHaylesx]

firstly, i can totally understand why you said your LMP was earlier, i went through a similar thing and had an awful MC experience prior to this pregnancy. I was a complete nervous wreck and couldn't wait to see little bubs HB this time.

However, i work for the NHS and believe me if you think that this does not cause a problem for other Mums who really need the scans (i.e are bleeding or due routine scans) then you are mistaken. It takes way longer than 10 minutes to fit one person in (the paperwork, computing etc takes a lifetime). The obstetric Doctors needed to refer you for the scans are pulled away from patients that need to be seen, sonographers are tied away from the routine/emergency scans so obviously this has a massive knock on effect.

if every lady who suffered a MC or was a wreck did this to the NHS we simply wouldn't have one.

Sorry hun i'm just passionate about our NHS and have seen Mums making things up in order to get early scans and it really saddens me. It would be totally different if we lived in the US and had to pay, scans wouldn't be taken for granted then. xx

 

[aliss]

FYI for those who are unaware,

Ultrasound technicians, the same who do prenatals, also work during appointments to detect early prostate cancer, kidney stones, abnormal cardiac structures.

And some people still feel it's justified to lie? Knowing that she will likely have at least 1 follow up appointment due to the discrepancy?

Hey, you're worried. That's more important that prostate cancer or a cardiac abnormality, right?

Now, consider a million women get pregnant each year. Now, factor in just a few thousand of those lying. You still think it's no big deal?? Tell that to people sitting and waiting for appointments to follow up potential cancer.

To be frank, miscarriage is normal and common for women of childbearing years. I had one only a few months ago. I know it's hard. But it does not justify this. Not at all. And shame on those of you who think it does.

 

[bevan88]

Soz my first post was a ramble, am up a height awaiting my scan tomorrow-- Over sensitive springs to mind! This pregnancy is not easy!

I would never lie myself, I would just ask bravely and hope, but could accept being told no. I think some areas in the U.K must really struggle its a shame that in the U.K our health system is going to rot as in an ideal world resources wouldnt be as stretched and none of us would have to wait longer than nesscary-- on a seprate note, I am still waitng to get a date for my first booking apt, let alone be reffered for my 12 week scan... the system is a mess, I dont think any one is more important than anyone else, but you do have to look after your self sometimes, as our society as sad as it is seems to have become me me me me these days- peolpe seem so angry all the time and hard done to?

My feelings on this one are mixed, I understand, but would never lie myself-

Hoping we all have healthy happy pregnancys and role on the 2nd tri! HORMOANES!

 

[Lil_Apple]

Im sorry but I think your attitude stinks

You asked a question and ladies have answered and you have really got your back up. Believe me...ANYONE who decides upon paying the £70-£80 for an early private scan does not have money to burn, they have a baby on the way!! The choice to spend that money on an early scan is their personal choice but that does not mean they are the most well off of people. It may mean that they dont have the little luxuarys they usually have that month to put their mind at rest.

Would I have lied?? No not at all. And like others have said you have now run the risk of missing out on a 12 week scan where they now do the NT/downs testing. What are you going to do further down the line when you are worried??! Go and beg your doctor for another scan?? As a previous post has mentioned the sonographers do not just scan pregnant women its a whole host of illness etc that can use ultrasound.

I can understand you wanting reassurance early on, believe me I can, but I know that Im not only pregnant woman in the world nor will I be the last that will be worrying and having sleepless nights over my baby being well but that does not mean I would ever lie and stop another woman from being able to have an appointment if she was bleeding.

Look outside the box!!!

 

[zimbobimbo]

Hiya,

Excuse me sneaking in, but I am bored at work!

I wouldn't worry, when I booked in with my midwife, she as me all my details and since coming of the pill I was so irregular and always forgot to write down my dates.

I thought I was 9 weeks at my booking appt, went to the scan at 12 weeks and they dated me at 8 weeks, no problem apart from being slightly disappointed that I wasn't further along than I though.

I returned 4 weeks later for my 12 week scan where they carried out all the checks.

So I had scans at;

8 weeks
12 weeks
20 weeks

all because I didn't know my dates!!

Don't worry - I'm sure many people have done it before. Good luck and I hope all goes well xx

 

[SleepyBaby]

ok so this topic go way to heated

did i full on tell lies.. well no not really, i said what could have been my last AF was lighter than normal, which it was, i said it came early, which it did, i said it only lasted 2 days instead of the normal 5, which it did.

What i didnt say was that imo it was to heavy for implantation.

this does not make me selfish, nor does it say i think im more important that other people, how does ' i want to make sure my babys ok' turn into ' im so much more important than her' ?

If someone was bleeding and needed a scan there and then while i was there ofc i would step back and say go ahead, point is if someone was there in trouble with there pregnancy they would be seen before me, i wouldnt be stopping them from being seen.

i dont mind people telling me im wrong and reasons as to why im wrong, i dont mind debating the facts but sorry, when people start to get plain rude i wont just smile and agree with them.

Aliss your fun, somehow you took a girl getting an early ultrasound scan and made it about cancer. I know about cancer, i have lost quite a lot of good friends and family to it, i know they need scans and tests and my heart goes out to them. I also know, if i don't go for a scan, it wont make them better, it wont effect them at all.