I love dealing with infertility because...

[Tnkrbell15]

Wow ladies. I just joining BnB, and already I have cried over sad stories, thrown a hissy over idiot doc stories, and now am feeling a bit light hearted. Thank you so much.

My #1 blessing from my infertility would have to be that I have no ties to my now ex-husband!
Other blessings: I was able to become comfortable with who I am as an individual, I was able to finish school, and my best reason....... I now have a man who is understanding and excepting of my "female issues" (his words), and willing to suffer through the tears, etc. with me. Thanks again for the pick me up.

 

[MrsElsie]

What a lovely positive thread. I'm the only dinkie left in my group of friends and have been trying for nearly two years. And I'm the only one who:
- can pretty much do what she likes when she likes
- has a relationshipship with her husband that has got stronger and stronger through having to deal with LTTC
- enjoys a lovely chinese massage and acupuncture every week (even if it doesnt work it makes me feel great!)
- can spend lots of wonderful time with my beutiful little niece and nephew and then give them back when they get tired (or when I do!)
- can go on my annual ski holiday!!! certainly couldnt do that with a baby!

Am still hoping we will get there but am also grateful for what I have now. Lots of luck to everyone x

 

[Titi]

Great ones! Lets keep posting to inspire each other and help drive away the no bump blues

 

[LizMcD]

Great post, the best thing is
* lie-ins at the weekend
* nights out
* being able to afford what you want!!!!
* no contraception!!!

Whilst we envy those friends with babies, we have it all to look forward to, our babies are yet to be born. We have all that joy of having our babies and watching them grow. SO here's to our babies, sending lots of positive vibes. Try and visualise yourself with your baby, i'm told a positive attitude can really help. Think, believe and you will receive!!!

xx

 

[Titi]

Liz super inspiring. love it!!

 

[Titi]

we should turn this into a team.

 

[mlyn26]

It has tried and tested our relationship and after 3 yrs ttc and 2 losses, we are still together!

I love my lie-ins, able to nip to the shops when i want, be engrossed in my book when i want.

Will be so extra wonderful when i have my 1st baby. I will be overcome with emotion.

My experience has shown who my true friends are. I have friends who have not got fed up with my experience, but also don't brush it under the carpet and let me talk about it. For example, i got 2 texts this morning wishing me luck for my fs apt today.

 

[Cridge]

it is so true that with everything you go through to get that baby, you do appreciate being a mother and having that child more than others, I believe. Having a child is hard work! When my son was young, and on those days when I just wanted to pull my hair out, it helped to think back to the 4 years it took us to get him. Now that he's 9 and we're still ttc #2, I appreciate him even more every day. He is a miracle in my life and if he ends up being an only child, I'll be forever grateful to have been a mother. I don't think I would feel as strongly as I do about that if I had gotten pregnant with him right away. I know those mothers that get pregnant right away love their children, but they really can't appreciate what being a mother means like we do. It's just different.

I love all your contributions to this thread! It brightens my day to read them. Thanks!

 

[Titi]

Hi Cridge!
Do you mind sharing about your experience TTC#1 with me? Speaking of hope and day brightening it would be inspiring to me. I'm going to be 36 in the fall and still ttc#1 after almost 3 years. Because of my age, and how long we've been trying I honestly think it won't ever happen for us-that we are incapable of conceiving, so hearing that it took somebody longer, but they did indeed get preggers makes me happy!!!!!!!
Thank you!!!

 

[Mindy_mini]

I know I have no right to be on a ltttc post but I found my way in some how.

I have the greatest of respect for the strength ltttc-ers display and reading your struggles makes me very grateful for my beautiful daughter. However I feel the need to post and say I'm really very offended by the suggestion that you will make better mothers because you have waited a longer time or that you will appreciate a child more because of your wait. I am the best mother I can be to my daughter, I always put her needs above my own, I do what I feel is best for her and I would die for her so please think before you post comments like that.

I wish you all luck in your journeys and hope you find happiness what ever happens but just felt I needed to point out that mothers and "short term" ttc-ers have feelings too.

 

[kylie30]

I know I have no right to be on a ltttc post but I found my way in some how.

I have the greatest of respect for the strength ltttc-ers display and reading your struggles makes me very grateful for my beautiful daughter. However I feel the need to post and say I'm really very offended by the suggestion that you will make better mothers because you have waited a longer time or that you will appreciate a child more because of your wait. I am the best mother I can be to my daughter, I always put her needs above my own, I do what I feel is best for her and I would die for her so please think before you post comments like that.

I wish you all luck in your journeys and hope you find happiness what ever happens but just felt I needed to point out that mothers and "short term" ttc-ers have feelings too.

Hi Mindy_mini, I feel I really have to say that these comments on the lttc forum are really aimed at those who are themselves lttc and this is the one place where people feel they can say what they like/whinge/say whatever makes them feel better etc... without being judged negatively. They aren't meant to cause offence to anyone and I don't think anyone really expects that someone who isn't lttc would be reading them. If you don't want to be offended by some of the negative emotions lttc people have or the fact that they try and turn some of these negatives in to a positive to help them get through this hard time, I wouldn't bother reading the lttc forum anymore. I hope this doesn't sound unkind and I wish you all the best.

 

[Titi]

wow........saying how much I will appreciate something after waiting so long for it IN NOW WAY implies or states that somehow who didn't wait as long is equally grateful.......this is just a thread of heartbroken women trying to find some gleam of positive in the misery that is wanting something more than anything in the whole world and to be one of the abnormal people who that no matter how hard we try we just cannot accomplish it.

Are you happy for coming in the one positive thread we have and dumping more negativity on us? I wish you the best and hope your misunderstanding of something you can relate nothing to caused you to write without thinking......but just wow. No one who hasn't suffered years and years of not being able to be the most natural thing on earth (a mother), to NEVER KNOW IF I WILL DIE WITHOUT EVER HOLDING MY OWN CHILD......, to GRIEVE the loss of may never be EVERY SINGLE MONTH year after year after year...............I can't explain to someone who hasn't suffered with infertility how much pain we all suffer........please just understand that and have compassion........this is in no way meant to slam or offend anyone who has been blessed........and should be seen as just this so I can't even believe I'm bothering to reply......it's just so painful enough as it is.....and now the one haven-the LTTTC boards aren't even safe.

 

[Mindy_mini]

I don't feel there is any justification for thinking you ltttc-ers are going to be better parents because you've had a harder fight over a longer time. I'm very upset by the comments but know that myself and the other mothers lucky enough not to have problems aren't going to get any kind of apology.

I don't find "if you don't like it dont read" a reasonable response and it's a public forum and you would do well to remember than and that ANYONE can read it if they wish and contribute if they so wish Which I've done.

 

[honeybee2]

I agree that 'being a better mother' actually means being a better person THEMSELVES, this comment does not relate what so ever to mothers who already have children. These women who have said this simply mean that they, themselves will be a better mother having learnt from all the issues that come with infertility than before (relationships in marriages are tested to the limit with infertility, in most cases, you become a stronger unit having shared some very vulnerable times).

This comment was in no way meant to offend parents.

For instance, because of my infertility, I know I, myself will be a better parent than I would have been 2 years ago because I got married to what would be the father of my children, we have a wonderful home, I went to uni and learnt more about my self as a person and about the world and my expertise, my hubby and I have learnt so much more about each other and we have lived out some important ambitions. Before uni, I didnt know much about the world but I'm a much better person myself (does not apply to everyone but it as for me) and I know because of this, it will make me a better mother than I would have been before.

So infertility has benefited me because:

I love my sleep
I can be a very selfish person sometimes (I like to do things when I want to do them)
I love alone time with my new hubby
I'm in my last year at uni and careers are very important to OH and I
We can save for a better house & car (room for a baby seat hehe)
we have travelled to a few places and only had to think about us
we had a beautiful, stunning wedding
we got married before having children and therefore able to provide a more solid base for our children that we might not have been able to offer before (may not apply to everyone, but it does to us)
I've lost 2stone 10lbs and kept it off
My hubby and I thoroughly enjoy our own company

 

[Titi]

wow. How insensitive. My response to you was not justification for saying we'd be better parents....in fact I said that was exactly the opposite of what I've meant, personally. I can't speak for anyone else all I have ever said is that I personally now will be EVEN more grateful on top of how grateful I've ever been before. No one has said anything of the sort of regular women not be grateful and certainly no one has said a THING about being better parents as far as I'm concerned.

And yes, this is a public forum but people with compassion can respect certain rules-there are specific rules about not posting a bfp announcement anywhere but in the sticky bfp place in LTTTC as to have respect and concern for others-so why someone who has been incredibly blessed with not one BUT TWO pregnancies, pregnant at this very moment, could just come in her and dump all over women who are already suffering is amazing.

I thought you may have taken some of these threads the wrong way....and appreciate you are far too blessed to have any idea what any of us are going through. Just wish you could see it from a different perspective, that's all. It's so incredibly hard enough on us already.

 

[Vickie]

I know I have no right to be on a ltttc post but I found my way in some how.

I have the greatest of respect for the strength ltttc-ers display and reading your struggles makes me very grateful for my beautiful daughter. However I feel the need to post and say I'm really very offended by the suggestion that you will make better mothers because you have waited a longer time or that you will appreciate a child more because of your wait. I am the best mother I can be to my daughter, I always put her needs above my own, I do what I feel is best for her and I would die for her so please think before you post comments like that.

I wish you all luck in your journeys and hope you find happiness what ever happens but just felt I needed to point out that mothers and "short term" ttc-ers have feelings too.

I don't think anyone here was saying that they will be a better mother than someone who wasn't an LTTCer just that they feel it will make them, personally a better mother.

This is a very sensitive area of the forum for the women here, I'm sure you mean no disrespect (as I know those posting didn't mean any) but posts like this are only going to cause more hurt feelings.

 

[Vickie]

I don't feel there is any justification for thinking you ltttc-ers are going to be better parents because you've had a harder fight over a longer time. I'm very upset by the comments but know that myself and the other mothers lucky enough not to have problems aren't going to get any kind of apology.

I don't find "if you don't like it dont read" a reasonable response and it's a public forum and you would do well to remember than and that ANYONE can read it if they wish and contribute if they so wish Which I've done.

You are taking this way out of line. Others have already tried to explain what they meant by their statements.

Yes it is a public forum but a little respect for how sensitive this area is (because I don't know that anyone who has not gone through this journey can truly appreciate how hard it is) wouldn't go amiss.

 

[Titi]

Thank you Vickie.

 

[LizMcD]

I think the ladies are quite right, this is the LTTTC forum where we have every right to express our feelings, Im also sure no-one meant any offence by their comments at all.

Titi in reference to your earlier comments i think we should create a team definately!

good luck to all xx stay positive

 

[SquirrelGirl]

Just wanted to pop in and say this was an awesome idea for a thread. So sorry the party got rained on a little bit. But we all know what we mean and how we feel. So....

Let's see...

I can go out and drink all night and be hungover the whole next day. (ok, not sure when the last time I did that was, but I could totally do it if I want! )

I do have an open bottle of wine in the fridge right now.

I don't have to spend a huge percentage on my paycheck to pay for babysitting. My dog knows how to take care of himself for 8 hours every day.

I can go on an overnight trip with only one bag.