Ok. Now that's done...
Titi - thank you so much for asking about my experience. To be honest, I struggle with sharing it on these boards because I know that so many women on here don't even have one child yet. I'm very sensitive to that. I remember distinctly how I felt going into the infertility clinic and seeing women there with their 2-3 kids. It angered me so much! I swore that I would never do anything like that. I honestly feel like when you're ttc, 3 weeks is "too long". I've never felt like the time we've ttc is any more heartbreaking than those that have tried for less time. I have also learned from my experience though that those women that did have 2-3 kids and were at the infertility clinic, have every right to be there (just not with their kids - haha). Just because you have 1 (or 2 or 3) kids, doesn't mean you don't deserve to have more.
So, as you can see, I tend to be a bit verbose.
I'll try to give you the shortened version of my experience. I was on bcp and went off thinking I'd be pregnant within a month. Within 3 months, I knew something wasn't right so I started searching the internet. I self diagnosed with PCOS but my dr. blew me off (come to find out, she had no idea what I was talking about). Some time later, she was so excited to tell me that she had just been to a conference about PCOS and "I'm pretty sure that's what you have". Thanks doc. I did the clomid route 6-8 times, always ovulated but nothing came from it. I saw a few doctors, none of which knew much about PCOS and all of which either were not helpful in the least or gave me clomid. DH was tested, I did the typical tests, including HSG, bloodwork & ultrasounds every month, etc. DH and I suffered in silence for 2 1/2 years before we started telling family and friends what was going on. We moved to a different state to get a fresh start and my "job" was to go to the doctor 2 or 3 times a week (you know how it goes). More clomid, etc, etc. Luckily, I was able to get into a study for metformin combined with gonal-f. DH and I were ready to sign adoption paperwork when we decided to join this study. The first month in the study I got pregnant. That was a miracle all in itself. My sister died the week I was supposed to have my trigger injection and IUI so we had to stop everything and go out of state. I ended up ovulating and getting pregnant in the midst of everything that was going on. I truly feel like my son was a family miracle. My entire family needed him to come when he did. Pregnancy was hard, but I loved every minute of it - every pain, puke (well, not every puke), stretch mark - everything. We didn't prevent, but didn't start really trying again for a few years after he was born, and here we are 9 years later (it's almost been 10 years since I got pregnant...whoa!) So that's even more confirmation to me of the miracle that is my son. I'm truly blessed.
I hope that's what you were looking for and that it gives you some hope. I'm 34 and feeling like I'm coming up on the end of my ttc career. I decided to give it my all until that dreaded 35 and then I need to move on. I'm okay with that because I do have my son. Even though we will forever mourn the loss (or lack) of our bigger family, we have learned to see the joys in our situation. As so many women have posted here, there are so many great things to "love" about not having children. When we have no control over our situation (and that has been the hardest thing DH and I have had to deal with), we need to take charge of what we do have control over, and that is our attitude.
Sorry for another long post.
And btw - welcome to all the newbies on this thread!
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yipee
ok, we'll try at least...
