I need a love!

[Beadette]

Hello angel mummys!

Well I went back to work today after MMC. (couldn't go back sooner because of nature of job - would have tipped me over edge!)

Anyway some of you may remember me saying that some other girls at work said they were pregnant at the same time as me. (3 in total - and one of the lads wives)

Well I saw them all with their little bumps today!

I am so so so happy for them - really! I'm just so sad for me. And I can tell they feel awkward and dont know what to say. I would be the same

Then tonight a friend wanted me to go and meet her. She told me she is 12 weeks pregnant and said she dreaded telling me and that she was worried I'd be cross and them burst into tears (bless her - hormones!!)

I'm again so totally happy for her! I would never wish what happened to me on anyone - I'm just..............sigh!

I need all the loves/cuddles I can get right now as I'm having a low night! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[TripleB]

You're one brave lady Beadette. Here's a lot of love for you, you deserve it. X

 

[lauralou25]

Hugs hun! X x i know wot u mean ure happy 4 people but inside ure hurting i know the feeling! I had a m/c 4 weeks ago and my best friend told me 2 weeks ago that she is expecting but she was scared to tell me! Good luck and lots of love your way! X x

 

[maratobe]

you are very brave i remember what it was like going back to work after losing bub the first time....everything was different!

 

[Booga]

My boss at my old job got pregnant two weeks after me... It was really difficult working with her after my loss, and especially hard when she started getting a little bump.

*sigh*...

More for you.
I feel your pain x x

 

[Ten]

I'm new here, but... huge hugs. It's so hard, and you are very brave to be handling it as well as you are.

 

[Serene123]

Agreed, you're handling it so well x

 

[Beadette]

Thanks for all your support girls. I need it right now.

I thought I was doing ok and I suppose I am really but its hard.

I forgot that in all the excitement i told a couple of my groups that I was expecting (they wondered why I's stopped going out for a cigarette at break times then one of them guessed and I couldn't lie)

Well today on my second day back i had to do some one-to-one meetings and one of the lads came bouncing in the room and went "Nina, how are you? Hows that baby of yours doing?"

I was in shock because I'd forgot but then went onto auto pilot and told him the bad news then felt bad for making him feel bad as I could tell he felt awful!! But now I'm annoyed at my colleagues as when I came out and told them one of the girls told me that she thought someone would have warned me because while I was off the group had asked about me and the baby. I know they probably felt like it wasn't their place to say anything but I wish they had - so that I wouldn't have had to!

I'm on a massive downer now! Feel like I could crack at any minute and burst into tears!!!

So sorry to off load on you lot x

 

[blondee]

Aw Beadette, I totally, totally feel for you. You are doing so well! Today is the worst day and it will get easier (news spreads like wild fire so i imagine you will not get asked again)



Try looking forward to tonight - have you planned something with your OH? I think it has got 'take away night' written all over it! Snuggle up with your fella and eat some yummy food!! You deserve a nice, easy night.

Take it easy, hun. Just get your feet back under the table at work but don't stress about catching up or doing too much.

M X

 

[Truffleax]

Hi hun

Awwww big hugs to you

I know how you feel tho hun I found out 2 days ago that the hospital think I had a miscarriage last week I was in bits at work and got sent home early (I was told in the afternoon at work) luckily I don't work with anyone who is pregnant but I can totally imagine how much worse that must be

I just wanted to say that don't worry about offloading on us thats what we are all here for to support each other through it all .

xxxx

 

[Beadette]

Thank you Hun! You're so lovely!

A take away sounds fab but I started a new diet/exercise regime only on Monday and don't want to break it just yet! Lol!

To make matters worse I overheard two of the pregnant ladies discussing baby names! I so wish it was me!

PMA where have you gone?? Come back now!!!!!!!!!

XXXXXXX

 

[TripleB]

Mmmm takeaway night, if only! I'm doing the same as you Beadette - focusing on diet/exercise as its something I can control where as getting my body back after the MC and TTC I can't. I figured it can't do any harm to my chances of a healthy pregnancy either. Have gone a bit extreme and cut out coffee and alcohol completely for the moment and sticking to it (god knows how!). Keep telling myself I'm going to celebrate a BFP with a great big curry - something to look forward to!

Hope work is easier for you today. One of my pregnant friends was discussing baby names the other day and mentioned one I had in mind. It took all my strength not to yell at her "you can't have that its my name!". We'll be there soon hun, PMA PMA PMA! x

 

[goddess25]

Your not alone hun, we are all feeling a bit like you right now. Totally understand it!

 

[debgreasby]

Hugs xxx

 

[puppymom32]

I know it is hard but you are so strong.

 

[Tulip]

Lots of love Beadette, you're doing AMAZINGLY, sweetie xx

 

[Beadette]

Aw you guys..............

Bless you all! You make me feel so much better about myself!

I had a tearful episode at work but felt better afterwards.

One of my male friend at work got married the month aftr me and his wife fell pegnant just before I did. We used to sit and chat and get all excited together. Well I saw him today and he was hovvering nearby looking all awkward (which is his normal stance actually - lol) and looked over and then looked sad and I just said "don't feel awkward pal" and he just said "c'mere and give me a love" bless him! He said he didn't know what to say and I can understand that (men being men and all! lol)

Apparently when my boss told everyone he was really upset and just sat there in shock!

 

[Tulip]

That's just made me cry a bit

 

[Beadette]

That's just made me cry a bit

Aw I didn't mean to make you cry! x x

 

[Ten]

Well today on my second day back i had to do some one-to-one meetings and one of the lads came bouncing in the room and went "Nina, how are you? Hows that baby of yours doing?"

I was in shock because I'd forgot but then went onto auto pilot and told him the bad news then felt bad for making him feel bad as I could tell he felt awful!! But now I'm annoyed at my colleagues as when I came out and told them one of the girls told me that she thought someone would have warned me because while I was off the group had asked about me and the baby. I know they probably felt like it wasn't their place to say anything but I wish they had - so that I wouldn't have had to!

I'm on a massive downer now! Feel like I could crack at any minute and burst into tears!!!

So sorry to off load on you lot x

Never be sorry - that's what we're here for!

And having people ask about your baby is so hard. I won't lie - it will take a while for word to get around, probably. It did for me, anyway - I just got a "you must've had your kid by now!" call two days ago, and we lost her in early September.

I don't know if the explanations get easier... I still hate dealing with them. But you do get into a groove on what to say and how to divert the topic to other things so you don't have to listen to them tell you how sorry they are for half an hour and send you into tears. "I'd really rather talk about happier things right now" seems to work pretty well for me to avert the awkwardness.