**I TESTED**Too scared to test... Need encouragement..

[sheilarae07]

I am freaking out!!! as you can see in my other posts, I had a negative yesterday at the doctor's office. This was after I drank a ton of water and peed. Anyway, I still haven't started and I am completely TERRIFIED to test in the morning! I literally do not believe I am mentally stable enough to handle another negative.
This sounds awful but I am so tired of not getting pregnant. It makes me feel like I am not fulfilling my womanly, wifely duties. UGH! Any words of encouragement?

 

[jollypop7]

How many dpo are you hon?

 

[sheilarae07]

My period was due sometime between Sunday and Tuesday. I guess I am about 16-18 dpo (I had ewcm and some cramping on the 24th and 25th). I am just having a mental breakdown over this. I am so scared to be let down again.

 

[jollypop7]

If you are that scared honey, then just wait. Sometimes stress can delay your period, so try and destress: candles with a bath, etc.

 

[sheilarae07]

Yea, I was perfectly fine until today. I have been keeping track of my cycles since Nov. 2008. In all that time I have only been late twice, once in Septemebr and now. The September time, my period had to be induced. Since then it had been "perfect", 27-29 days. I am so afraid that it will have to be induced again and that just makes me feel like I am broken.

 

[moochacha]

How long have you been trying hun

 

[sheilarae07]

Since March 2009. Like I said I started tracking my cycles and mucus in Nov. the year before. I thought this would help me know my body and we would get pregnant fast... WRONG. To add salt to the wound, since we started tryin, my sister in law got pregnant and had the baby and my best friend had a baby and is now pregnant again, and everyone of my close friends from high school got pregnant and had babies- All SINCE we started trying.

 

[sheilarae07]

I talked to my doctor and all she said was "Your sitll young"... Yea I get that but I am more worried about the emotional toll that TTC causes. It's to mentally draining.

 

[moochacha]

Yeah in the time we've been wanting to have a baby one of my SIL has had two babies she's paying for it now because there is only 11 months different between them and its a handful for her. My other SIL is having her first next month and my sister had a baby in Jan this year. lol Actually I've stopped being so jealous of this and just happy for them now its much nicer and easier for me mentally if you get what I mean.

Hun have you tired to BD every second day? It really works for some people are you should give it a go. Have you tired charting your temperature to make sure your ovulating? or using a fertility monitor or OPK's? I know it sounds obsessive but I find doing these things helps stop thinking negatively about TTC and makes me feel in more control and I've been doing it since last year.

 

[sheilarae07]

I use OPKs. My work schedule does not work out for doing BBT.

 

[Lil_Pixie]

In the time I've been trying my sister has had two babies. and last month my cycle was 64 days and I never did manange to plucknup the courage to test so I totally get where your coming from. I wish I had tested though

 

[sheilarae07]

My theory is that, if I am pregnant AF will never show, and eventually I will work up the courage to test. My husband was supposed to pick up a test for me this morning but he forgot, so I didn't test. I want to wait til I am a week late. However, then if the test is negative, I can't use the excuse that it was too early.
I just hate wasting tests, just to see that one sad line.

 

[NatalieP]

Try and hold out for a few more days and see what happens hun.
Good luck.
xx

 

[sheilarae07]

Well I finally got some more tests. I am worried about wasting them though. However, I work in the morning and will be lifting some moderately heavy things. I would never do that if I knew I was pregnant. I don't want to make a fuss if I don't know. Is there a point in testing after my negative at the doctor's office the other day?

 

[Lil_Pixie]

I definately think you should test Hun x

 

[nevertogether]

FX'ed for your sheila!

 

[sheilarae07]

It was negative... No af still... UGH! I just wish that since I'm not pregnant that she would show, so we can move on.

 

[nevertogether]

i'm sorry sheila

 

[sheilarae07]

Yea it sucks... I was so hopeful.

 

[jessop27]

im sorry