I wanna give up. So frustrated.

[babybloo]

I don't think I can do this any more. Every time I try to feed LO I end up crying either out of pain or frustration. It takes at least ten minutes or more most times to get LO started feeding. It's like a fight every time. She'd rather suck on her hands then my breast. A big problem is getting her to open her mouth wide enough to get a good latch. Sometimes the only way is for her to cry and then while her mouth is open I can get her on.

The initial latching on is excruciating but then it goes away and she eats great pain free for me. But then she starts to get a little lazy and amongst the typical pauses she will just stop and I have to coax her to start back up again. Sometimes it's only after a short time when I know she is still hungry. The more she does this, the more the latch slips until eventually it's pinchy and uncomfortable and I know I have to take her off and reposition. Which I dread because of the first problem and which leads me to the next problem.

She won't let go! I try to break the suction with a finger but omg she may not want my nipple any more but she doesn't want me to take it away. She gnaws at me and when they finally come out they are flat! It hurts!

The LC that I've seen say my technique is fine,the latch looks good from outside. They said i had a lazy baby though. WTH? How do i fix that? And I had been assuming latch was better since it wasn't painful anymore during feeding. But I haven't seen a LC since its gotten so bad.

I want to give up. There's no way I will ever bf in public with the ten minute fit to get her on, her screaming and me crying. I tense up and hesitate. I dread feeding time. Plus i have to go back to work when she is only four weeks old so I want to introduce bottles and I'm afraid since she is a "lazy" eater she will have nipple confusion. I'm considering switching to exclusive pumping instead though I I do give up bf. I don't know what I'm looking for with this post. I'm just so frustrated.

 

[rose.]

We had a similar situation at the beginning. Alfie would never open his mouth wide, and it could take HOURS to get him to latch. Have you tried different nursing positions? I found that once we switched to the football (under arm) hold on cushions Alfie latched and stayed on much better than the traditional cradle hold. It took about 8-12 weeks before Alfie started to feed better, and now he feeds so well that he won't take a bottle!! I never thought we would make it but we got through it, and now breastfeeding honestly is a breeze.

Oh - everyone said our latch was fine too and that our technique was fine,
Etc . Alfie was just really lazy. He still is - when I give him food he doesn't really open his mouth for the spoon and even when bf he will open his mouth but not very wide. I guess all babies are different.

Good luck - you're doing a great job. It will get easier I promise

 

[Disneygrl]

My lo is four weeks and still does that. I pump and bf from breast, she's had no nipple confusion. I try to bf her everyday, but if it starts out roughy I always have a bottle pumped on stand by. Sometimes my lo means business and there are no issues, other times she's latching on and off, licking, rubbing her face in my boob, etc, its the opposite of lazy but just as frustrating, then when she finally does latch half the time she falls asleep cause she wore herself out! I started pumping at 2 weeks because I can take a bottle with me if I'm out, someone else can feed her and I was losing sleep at night when it would take an hr to feed because she'd be so hungry or anxious. I use bottles at night though because she gets the milk faster, and is back to sleep faster!

I would try pumping or getting a nipple shield to help with the pain. I found that giving a bottle, specifically Tommie tippe has helped with her latch and if she really is "lazy" a bottle might make it easier for her to get milk.

 

[cat_reversing]

I agree with pp, it definitely gets easier and will become second nature.
However...you have to do what is right for both of you, especially if you're going back to work (it seems very early to be going back, is there no way you can be off longer to be with baby?, she needs you)
would you be willing to pump, can you pump at work?

 

[babybloo]

I unfortunately was out of work for 6 weeks before she was born due to my pre e. so I cant afford to stay home any longer. But I am only going to work two days a week, 6 hour shifts for a couple weeks at first so nothing crazy. But during those times someone will baby sit and she will obviously need to eat.

Thank you for your encouraging words, I needed that. My OH and I are going to introduce bottles this coming week anyway and see how it goes. It might give me enough of a break here and there to persevere.

Thanks again. Nice to hear similar stories. Gives me some hope

 

[babybloo]

Oh and I have a pump and have been starting a tiny freezer stash just because I'll be going back to work so soon. And I will be able to pump at work.

 

[kassiaethne]

my LO had the issues with latching and the hold that helped me alot was the cross cradle hold (especially because I am a size F) only downside is your wrist hurts from holding your boob for so long. But now that he's older he can do the normal cradle hold and do laying feeding (which is a godsend because I bf and sleep now) it took till he was about a month old to get good at latching and I just pumped to feed him because I didn't want to make BFing something negative that was made of screaming.

What I would do is offer the nipple for a bit, and after a few tries if it failed I'd just give the bottle, then try again. Usually when they aren't super hungry and panicking they latch better. After he got good at latching without the bottle inbetween I've basically stopped bottles except when my husband wants to give him the odd feed.

so try half the bottle then the breast again and see if it helps. and as she gets older she should be able to open her mouth bigger because her mouth will BE bigger and help fix the problem in the long run. just got to survive till then.

 

[daniellex27]

Hang in there mama! It gets easier, I promise
I had pain in my nipples for a months straight, and babygirl was an extremely lazy eater, it would take her an hour usually to eat, sometimes even that long on both sides!

Now though she pretty much latches herself and is done within 10 minutes maybe a little longer sometimes. And there is no more pain.

I know it doesn't seem like this will ever pass, but trust me, it will!

 

[w8ing4bean]

Phoebe was exactly the same about latching on. Frantically sucking on her hands and latching onto my arm (?!) hubby always had to help me with holding her hands out the way and shoving her on the boob mid scream.

It got better around 4 weeks as thats when hubby returned to work. Shes a pro now and i even feed in public

 

[Nicolalove353]

You are doing a great job momma! Who would have know bf would be so difficult?! My son does the same thing with his hands and he likes to play with my nipples before he latches on. He also pushes his head back some which makes it even more difficult to get him to latch. I also think one of his problems is that he doesn't open wide enough. I give you credit because I could not handle the pain and I started supplementing formula. My nipples are so painful and I know exactly how you feel when you said that you dread feedings. I feel like a bad mom sometimes because of that

My son also has a super latch when I try to get him off. He also likes to stretch on my boob and pulls my nipple with him. He must think I am stretch Armstrong or something! My nipples are also flat when they come out of his mouth, I always wondered if that was normal or not? He also likes to bite my nipples. I sometimes cry out in pain which I once again feel bad because it seems like it startles him a bit.

The shields are really great and can help with latching. My son would not latch on my left boob and once I used a shield, he finally did it. I only had to use it for a week before he got off it and latched right into my nipple.

It really does get better. I also noticed after a month it got a not easier and it was less painful. I still have pain but its not constant and it is not as painful. I no longer want to quit bf but now I worry my milk supply is drying up. I'm not as good as you are with pumping

Do what is best for you and your baby. Only you know what that is. And I was always so worried about nipple confusion that when a dr stuck a bottle in his mouth, I cried. He never had a problem with it though. I also introduced a pacifier to him at a month and strangely it seemed to help his latch.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[9jawife]

My son does the same thing where he doesn't want to open his mouth wide. I think in our case it is a bit of nipple confusion since he unfortunately had bottles from 3 days old. I got so frustrated with it that I started teaching him the word "open"-I did this by saying "open" while demonstrating to him what I meant. He now will do it most of the time-unless he's really really hungry and doesn't want to concentrate. You might want to try that strategy.
He still slips off, though. It pinches horribly. I don't know how to fix that one. I think they just get so relaxed and don't want to work so hard. Along with his fussiness at the breast this is why I don't like to NIP, either. I ordered a cover from Amazon which I think will help.
Good luck to you! And whatever you do DON'T GIVE UP! We are here to support you!

 

[cat_reversing]

so you'll still be around most of the time so that's good.
As you said, introducing bottles (expressed milk?) will give you a break from baby hanging off your nipple constantly and you'll get some relief that'll help you carry on hopefully.
Whatever breastmilk baby gets will help so if you can, keep going as long as possible but if it's not working at least you know baby had a great start.

 

[babybloo]

Thank you all so much for all the support! Baby and I are also suffering from thrush, poor babe. I'm in agony. Bf had me crying the entire time so today we have been giving her bottles of expressed milk. I may decide to go back to breast once our treatment is done and successful but in the meantime we've had a much calmer day. I felt really bad at first but i know we have to do what makes both of us happy.

 

[Hotbump]

If you also have thrush make sure not to store your expressed milk and that the milk you ate giving her is fresh and not out of the freezer.

 

[bcos21]

I was ready to give up BF because I'd try to get him to latch and he'd just scream at my boob. I was getting really stressed. I bought a nipple shield and never looked back- no sore nipples and he's quit screaming out of frustration. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[abstersmum]

Nipple shields were my saviour I used them for about 4 months and gradually used them less I have just stopped feeding my daughter she will be 3 in January, when I was crying in pain and couldn't get my dd to latch I had no idea how easy breast feeding would become or that I would breast feed for nearly 3 years

 

[noon_child]

I don't think I can do this any more. Every time I try to feed LO I end up crying either out of pain or frustration. It takes at least ten minutes or more most times to get LO started feeding. It's like a fight every time. She'd rather suck on her hands then my breast. A big problem is getting her to open her mouth wide enough to get a good latch. Sometimes the only way is for her to cry and then while her mouth is open I can get her on.

The initial latching on is excruciating but then it goes away and she eats great pain free for me. But then she starts to get a little lazy and amongst the typical pauses she will just stop and I have to coax her to start back up again. Sometimes it's only after a short time when I know she is still hungry. The more she does this, the more the latch slips until eventually it's pinchy and uncomfortable and I know I have to take her off and reposition. Which I dread because of the first problem and which leads me to the next problem.

She won't let go! I try to break the suction with a finger but omg she may not want my nipple any more but she doesn't want me to take it away. She gnaws at me and when they finally come out they are flat! It hurts!

The LC that I've seen say my technique is fine,the latch looks good from outside. They said i had a lazy baby though. WTH? How do i fix that? And I had been assuming latch was better since it wasn't painful anymore during feeding. But I haven't seen a LC since its gotten so bad.

I want to give up. There's no way I will ever bf in public with the ten minute fit to get her on, her screaming and me crying. I tense up and hesitate. I dread feeding time. Plus i have to go back to work when she is only four weeks old so I want to introduce bottles and I'm afraid since she is a "lazy" eater she will have nipple confusion. I'm considering switching to exclusive pumping instead though I I do give up bf. I don't know what I'm looking for with this post. I'm just so frustrated.

Everything in bold is exactly what I experienced. I felt like I needed three hands just to hold her in the correct position to latch!

I didn't have to go back to work at 4weeks though, I can't imagine how hard that will be.

All I can say is that the initial pain going away sounds like 'letdown' pain - it can be really bad at first. It is a good thing that feeding is pain free until she gets lazy. As she gets bigger (so the more she feeds) the less lazy she will be, and a few weeks really can make a huge difference in sucking strength and stamina.

My LC said the "dreading it" and "hesitating" is one of the key issues people have with getting a good latch - as soon as you hesitate you are done for. You must take her off if it is a bad latch, I really messed up my nipples trying to grin and bear it.

On the practical side the fighting with her hands stage didn't last that long (although it felt like forever) and once it is over it is less stressful to re-latch. Have you tried swaddling her prior to a feed so her hands are contained? My LO had to be practically naked to feed or she'd fall asleep instantly, so I ended up with a naked baby with a wet washcloth over her feet with her top half swaddled to keep her arms at bay!!!!!!

I

 

[Squiggy]

You described my very issue with the first half of your post. My baby is 9w and they called him "lazy" in the hospital. That was total crap!!!! It wasn't "laziness" it was that my nipples were/are too flat/soft so he had trouble until I used the nipple shields. We were good for a few weeks with those and then my supply dried up anyway and I found myself supplementing with formula at 3am one night when he was only 3w. It broke my heart.

At this point he's getting more formula than breast milk. I also experienced severe pain when putting baby on, even with the shields. All the LC's act confused at that information. Being tied up to a pump for endless hodon'urs a day is not easy! I hate it but I'm still trying because I want my baby to have the breast milk. My supply is so low though that I'm only getting between 2-4oz a day breast milk and baby consumes 30oz a day! It's practically nothing and I don't know what to do to get my supply higher, it's been a constant struggle and I tried all their suggestions. I'm just very sad about the whole thing.

 

[kassiaethne]

You described my very issue with the first half of your post. My baby is 9w and they called him "lazy" in the hospital. That was total crap!!!! It wasn't "laziness" it was that my nipples were/are too flat/soft so he had trouble until I used the nipple shields. We were good for a few weeks with those and then my supply dried up anyway and I found myself supplementing with formula at 3am one night when he was only 3w. It broke my heart.

At this point he's getting more formula than breast milk. I also experienced severe pain when putting baby on, even with the shields. All the LC's act confused at that information. Being tied up to a pump for endless hodon'urs a day is not easy! I hate it but I'm still trying because I want my baby to have the breast milk. My supply is so low though that I'm only getting between 2-4oz a day breast milk and baby consumes 30oz a day! It's practically nothing and I don't know what to do to get my supply higher, it's been a constant struggle and I tried all their suggestions. I'm just very sad about the whole thing.

sorry to side track but have you tried the fenugreek and blessed thistle herbal suppliments? I started those 2 weeks ago and my milk doubled. also have some mothers milk tea but some babies get extra gassy on it. only downside to the fenugreek and blessed thistle is I kinda smell like maple syrup when I am sweaty >.> But I guess it's better then BO?

 

[crossedfinger]

I'm currently going through a lot of what the OP is going through. My baby is 3 weeks old and I just want to switch to pumping and giving her that instead. But I'm scared that my supply won't keep up that way...ugh. My nipples were just one big scarred mess by the time I left the hospital, although the LCs all said that my latch looked perfect. They've healed a lot since then but are still super sore. And my left breast really hurts now, am thinking might be a clogged duct? OR worse? Just really want to give up on the whole thing but feel really guilty about even thinking it. I'm not happy that anyone else is feeling this way, but I do feel relieved that I'm not alone.