I hope it's ok to post this here. My grandma has been married for 15 years to the most amazingly kind man (Rod) you could ever hope to meet. He's quite a bit younger than her, he is about 45 and she is 65, but they get along like a hous on fire. He's one of those people that would drive 4 hours just to pick you up if you were stuck somewhere. When I had money troubles once, he turned up on my doorstep with $5,000, handed it to me and then told me to please not pay him back. He's basically treated me and my brother like we are his kids, he would do anything for anyone. He's so fantastic with Thomas, they have a great bond, he can always makes him giggle and no one else can except OH and I. Anyway, when Rod was 16 his girlfriend got pregnant. He was excited though she wanted an abortion. he convinced her to keep the baby and if she didn't want it, he would be more than happy to be a solo dad. She had the baby, he got to see him once at the hospital, then she disapeared. It turns out she took off to Australia and had been planning to the whole time. To this day he is still devastated and my grandma says he cries a lot at night thinking about what he has missed out on. Now, age aside - how can someone do that? To a man who is the nicest guy you could ever meet? My neice who is due any day now and is 15, hasn't even told the guy she slept with that he is going to be a dad. Ugh! It makes me so angry. No matter what personal issues I have with my OH, I would NEVER EVER take Thomas away from him. Who's with me on that one? Or am I alone in thinking men have every damn right to their kids?! If we didn't want to have a relationship we have agreed to stay living together as friends, or have a shared care arrangement.