I would never take LO away from Oh, how an people do this?

[xSophieBx]

In that case its awful and so many other cases where women do it out of spite. But it depends on the situation such as violence. I've currently stopped access, his never lived with lily(we split when pregnant) & I stopped access at my house because of the mental abuse and I worry about Lily's safety, so we're sorting out supervised access atm. Now his family etc will make me out to be a horrible person thats kept him from his daughter. Which isn't the case, I've tried many times... its just very hard with someone like him, It's a long story.. but yeh depends on the case.

 

[DanielleM]

Danielle - At least you gave Evans father the opportunity to be there....Id even go as far as saying you gave him too many chances!

But thats where you differ....Just cos you split with Evans dad, it didnt make you wanna restrict access as a form of punishment for abandoning you!

I do not blame you whatsoever for restricting access now completely....THAT doesnt deserve to be a father and certainly doesnt after saying such a vile thing!

Your really strong...

Thanks Lellow xx

 

[pinklightbulb]

To the mums who have dropkick FOBs There are no bad mothers here. I was talking about the ones who do it PURELY out of spite, not for any real reason. Sadly I have seen sooo much of that sort of thing go on (my OH, my brother) and these precious little people are missing out on wonderful fathers as a result. This makes me sad. I will never see OH's two boys meet each other, as they should, and I won't bond with my niece, all because some mothers can't see past their own grudges/problems.

 

[leoniebabey]

im sorta with you depends on the circumstaces really, i think in the case u mentioned thats just beyond wrong but then you get ;fathers' like my babys dad, hasnt bothered in almost 10 months, doesnt pay, emails me to say a load of abuse never once asked about LO. I've give up and can safely say over my dead body will he be seeing him again!

 

[Breezy]

I think unless there is a violence or abuse issue then no- every single father has a right to see their father.

DH and I were having problems a while back and I considered throwing in the towel but knew that regardless if I made that decision or not I would never take our son from him. My whole family lives across the country but I would still continue to live in the same state with my DH as it is not fair that I would take our son from him.

Luckily, we resolved our issues and are better than ever now!

 

[PepsiChic]

I think it depends on the situation...would you want the father involved if he was a drug addict, or a alcoholic, or violent and abusive or had raped you?

i wouldnt, id want nothing to do with the man who claims to be my babys father. i would not tell him if that option was there or i would refuse to let him be part of the babies life. I would deem my babies safety more important than worrying what questions my baby might ask when hes older.

and i understand that your saying Rod is a loving kind person...but a lot happens between 16 years of age and 45 years of age. he may of been an asshole back then, a deatbeat nasty person. you'll never know. I wouldnt judge the girl until you had the full story from both sides.

edit to add: I dont however like it when woman use "access" as a means to get what they want, be it money, a new car, etc. You may have a falling out with your OH, but that doesnt mean you can use the baby you both creating as a wager against the father.

 

[Breezy]

I think it depends on the situation...would you want the father involved if he was a drug addict, or a alcoholic, or violent and abusive or had raped you?

i wouldnt, id want nothing to do with the man who claims to be my babys father. i would not tell him if that option was there or i would refuse to let him be part of the babies life. I would deem my babies safety more important than worrying what questions my baby might ask when hes older.

and i understand that your saying Rod is a loving kind person...but a lot happens between 16 years of age and 45 years of age. he may of been an asshole back then, a deatbeat nasty person. you'll never know. I wouldnt judge the girl until you had the full story from both sides.

edit to add: I dont however like it when woman use "access" as a means to get what they want, be it money, a new car, etc. You may have a falling out with your OH, but that doesnt mean you can use the baby you both creating as a wager against the father.

Good points there!

 

[Tiffa130]

I agree unless your LO is somehow in danger with his or her daddy you should never ever take away a child's parent just to spite your ex partner.

I vowed to my OH when I got pregnant that no matter what our future holds (so far happily co habitating & been together 10 years) I would never ever ever take his daughter away from him or try to turn her against him. Our relationship should not affect their relationship.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I think this is a situation where no one knows except the people involved. So many things happen when your a kid having a kid. I bet anything she was more worried about her own situation and how having a baby would affect her life, forever. Rather than worrying about dad being involved or not. Statistically speaking a massive percentage of teenage dads are not involved so perhaps she was thinking he'd leave anyways? You just dont know.

 

[emmadaisy]

me and my oh are going through this at the moment, we took dss out when lo was a few weeks old now dss has aspergers syndrome and has alot of issues with routines and instructions, dss decided he wanted to get the bus home and we tried to explain we had lo and need to get him home for his milk but he was having none of it and wanted to get the bus we ignored the behaviour and went back to the car, dss was screaming and taking his seatbelt of and had already wriggled off oh hand and ran into the road before we had even got back to the car so oh smacked the back of his leg now how he and his ex wife choose to discipline there child is up to me I personally dont see anything wrong with a tap on the hand but not full smacking but it happened and that it that.
Now ex wife has stopped oh having all contact and had rung social services saying he was beating us up aswell!! this also effected my career as Im a nursery nurse and it went on my crb that I had been investigated for violence!

Oh is not a violent man and agreed he shouldnt have smacked him but with dss running out into the road and not understanding how dangerous it was, oh was scared he was going to get run over, Id just had a section so couldnt do alot and oh was trying to put pram in car when it happened.

Its horrible what she is doing, making out oh is a horrible person, that he doesnt care for dss, we get no legal aid and so far have spent out £600 on solicitors which we cant really afford but it had to be done so we can see dss
Not only that but lo is going to grow up not knowing his brother at this rate we have lots of photos and talk about him lots but its not the same

 

[jogami]

I would never keep my son away from his father EVER. No matter what happens to us I know he loves his son and will always be there for him. My own mother bad-mouthed my father for so many years (still does even though he's passed on); and it pisses me off!!! We didn't get to see him for many years due to my mom, his new wife etc. I can safely say that it affected myself and my two siblings immensely. I lived my life precariously because of it and still suffer silently and wonder what could have been if he had had more influence in my life. Just for the record, I love him, miss him and think of him every day. He is my angel regardless of what others say or think. I will not let my child suffer for my stupidity or selfishness! Keeping his father from him may give me satisfaction if something DRASTIC should happen, but I will always put him first and putting him first means letting him know his dad and being a part of his life.

 

[Kalah]

I would never keep my son away from his father EVER. No matter what happens to us I know he loves his son and will always be there for him. My own mother bad-mouthed my father for so many years (still does even though he's passed on); and it pisses me off!!! We didn't get to see him for many years due to my mom, his new wife etc. I can safely say that it affected myself and my two siblings immensely. I lived my life precariously because of it and still suffer silently and wonder what could have been if he had had more influence in my life. Just for the record, I love him, miss him and think of him every day. He is my angel regardless of what others say or think. I will not let my child suffer for my stupidity or selfishness! Keeping his father from him may give me satisfaction if something DRASTIC should happen, but I will always put him first and putting him first means letting him know his dad and being a part of his life.

That is just terrible.