If anyone else tells me to 'just relax and it'll happen', I will....

[Reb S]

Okay, you read the title! How many people have told you - 'it'll happen when you're not thinking about it!' 'Just relax!' 'Give up and it'll happen!' GRRRRRRRRR!

Suggestions as to responses, please ladies - polite or otherwise!
x

 

[Emmab9833]

I know exactly what you mean... thats what everyone says to me!! I feel like ringing their neck...best thing is everyone that knows we are ttc when they have concieved it happened within the first 3months of trying!! I do believe that relaxing helps but theres only so much you can do.....

xxxxxxxxx

 

[wishingalways]

OMG Reb S i totally know what you mean, I think it must be one of those inherent responses like when some dies and you say sorry for your loss, people dont realise how saying relax and it will just happen makes you feel.
I have been TTC for over 6 years, unexplained inferitlity, had all the tests totally normal and not entitled to IVF because I have an 8 year old son from a previous relationship so although my DH has never concieved a child because i have we dont get funding which means I am wishing my life away.

I tend to just snap at people now when they say that so not much help with the replies im afraid, but GL and sending some baby dust your way.
x

 

[Apple Blossom]

I know exactly what you mean, and I feel that if the shoe was on the other foot they would feel like screaming too. I had a friend say this to me just a couple of weeks ago and she got a very blank look from me, we was NTNP for about 4 yrs how much more relaxed can you get than that

 

[Damita]

OMG totally agree with you, just had an argument with some one who told me that people with fertility problem is because they think about it too much and get caught up in it.

I told him where to go, my advice is to say if you aren't going through it then you don't get to give advice

 

[Apple Blossom]

OMG Reb S i totally know what you mean, I think it must be one of those inherent responses like when some dies and you say sorry for your loss, people dont realise how saying relax and it will just happen makes you feel.
I have been TTC for over 6 years, unexplained inferitlity, had all the tests totally normal and not entitled to IVF because I have an 8 year old son from a previous relationship so although my DH has never concieved a child because i have we dont get funding which means I am wishing my life away.

I tend to just snap at people now when they say that so not much help with the replies im afraid, but GL and sending some baby dust your way.
x

Hi, I just wanted to say that we are in the same boat as you are, we are unable to get funding for IVF due to me having a 9yr old from previous relationship, so we have decided to donate some of my eggs to pay for our treatment. Its not for everyone for sure but I just wanted to let you know of that option. It was a difficult decision to make but we figured that I dont need all my eggs and If we get our little baby and help another lady as well, its a win win situation. Hope this helps

 

[SweetJennie]

I usually tell people it was all the relaxed NTNP that got me worried in the first place and if that were the case I would have had a child long ago. Now I'm trying a different method because that one failed horribly and no use to keep trying something that doesn't work. Usually gets me a "but still so and so" comment which usually gets dropped when they realize I'm ignoring them lol.

 

[Apple Blossom]

I usually tell people it was all the relaxed NTNP that got me worried in the first place and if that were the case I would have had a child long ago. Now I'm trying a different method because that one failed horribly and no use to keep trying something that doesn't work. Usually gets me a "but still so and so" comment which usually gets dropped when they realize I'm ignoring them lol.

Sorry for your loss

 

[wishingalways]

Thanks appleblossom.
We have been thinking about donating eggs as well to reduce the cost, although it doesnt tell you on the hospital sites that explain the pricing how much it reduces it by... you dont have to answer as it is quite a private question but is it more than say 20% of the cost?
I live in scotland and will be having Treatment at either dundee or aberdeen, depending on where i am at the beginning of next year seeing as there are no jobs at the moment.

This forum is great, i really wish i had found it sooner, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted and i have people who know what im going through so thank you.

x

 

[Apple Blossom]

Thanks appleblossom.
We have been thinking about donating eggs as well to reduce the cost, although it doesnt tell you on the hospital sites that explain the pricing how much it reduces it by... you dont have to answer as it is quite a private question but is it more than say 20% of the cost?
I live in scotland and will be having Treatment at either dundee or aberdeen, depending on where i am at the beginning of next year seeing as there are no jobs at the moment.

This forum is great, i really wish i had found it sooner, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted and i have people who know what im going through so thank you.

x

Thats ok, I know exactly how it feels and its so tough at the best of times let alone with limited funds. The clinic that we are going to use which is bourn hall offer it for free but all the before tests they do we will have to pay for which is about £650. Not sure about where you live though I think the best thing to do is to call your clinic of choice and ask for a price list. I love this forum, ive been on here over a yr a I just dont know what I would do without the support. You can meet some very special ladies on here a make some good friends, it can be addictive though

 

[Emmab9833]

When we first started trying we were excited which Im sure every couple is.... youve got to think about it as its gonna change your life..... We have just moved into a new house and everyone is saying "ooooo new house new baby" I just want to cry.... people always say to me "so any news yet then" and look at my belly =(

Rant over lol xxxxx

 

[stellargaze]

We just moved too, and I totally hear you. Everyone assumes the extra room is for us to start a family. Fortunately no one says 'relax' to us. But then, very few people know that we have been trying forever. And of course, everyone tries to give their advice-- telling us we should have kids, trying to guess if I'm pregnant yet. My mother-in-law wishes every year for a grandchild when she blows out her bday candles.

 

[pinkfee]

I totally hear you... and if only I could relax because unfortunately by my OH and me relaxing we tend not to so often (we naturally don't have a very high sex drive), so i can't see how relaxing would aid our chances of conceiving... because I can't see how having sex less often is going to benefit us!!!! so i usually say well if i relaxed I wouldn't have sex so i'm not sure how thats going to help! lol

 

[mojo86]

Hey i totally know what you mean. I was diagnosed with pcos in august and before that all folk kept saying was "relax. And give it time!" whatever!! meanwhile people all around me falling pregnant (some by accident may i add) anyway ever since my diagnosis all people say is "at least your still young" and "oh well just least youve got plenty time!" i swear the next person to say that will get slap lol.

 

[honeybee2]

Yes it happens to some ladies but NOT ME! I totally forgot about TTC for a whole year. We didnt use contraception but then we didnt use OPKs, timed sex or think 1 minute about babies because I was in the second year of uni, OH's job was stressful and we had our wedding coming up. We didn't fall pregnant. I also hate when people say that!

 

[wishingalways]

Thanks appleblossom that makes me a little excited about the whole thing going to phone tomorrow and find out what is happening with my scan and then we can start our next part of the journey with IVF.
x

 

[Apple Blossom]

Thanks appleblossom that makes me a little excited about the whole thing going to phone tomorrow and find out what is happening with my scan and then we can start our next part of the journey with IVF.
x

No problem Hun, we are all here for the same reason, and I love helping if I can. I will add you as a friend then if you need any help or just someone to talk things through who is in the same boat and all. Hope you get on ok tommorrow X X

 

[wifey29]

Most of the people we know are aware that we are having IVF and the reason for it, but we still ge the the "maybe if you relax it will happen before you have treatment". Um, how? I don't think relaxing will help if the doctors say the only way is ICSI. I think a lot of the time people don't know what else to say.

 

[zanDark]

oh God I hate it when people say that! I've been listening to that crap for a year and a half LOL so lately whenever someone tells me to "relax and it will happen" I look them in the eye and ask them "oh so are you saying it's my fault?"

the "eerm..OMG no..um..I just...you know" cracks me up on the inside but I just sit there staring at them until they change the subject

the last person to tell me this was a very nice girl with a 2month old baby...she went on and on and on about how disappointed she was in the beginning of TTC and how much she cried... but then when she finally relaxed it happened!!! ....so of course I asked how long she was TTC..her response? two months

I laughed and told her that while I'm happy she didn't have to suffer the horror of LTTTC....she really shouldn't give out advice about "the oh so difficult journey of trying to conceive"

 

[Apple Blossom]

oh God I hate it when people say that! I've been listening to that crap for a year and a half LOL so lately whenever someone tells me to "relax and it will happen" I look them in the eye and ask them "oh so are you saying it's my fault?"

the "eerm..OMG no..um..I just...you know" cracks me up on the inside but I just sit there staring at them until they change the subject

the last person to tell me this was a very nice girl with a 2month old baby...she went on and on and on about how disappointed she was in the beginning of TTC and how much she cried... but then when she finally relaxed it happened!!! ....so of course I asked how long she was TTC..her response? two months

I laughed and told her that while I'm happy she didn't have to suffer the horror of LTTTC....she really shouldn't give out advice about "the oh so difficult journey of trying to conceive"

two months, say no more.