I *love* this thread! I'm so sick and tired of the "just relax, and don't think about it, and it'll happen" drivel that I get to hear. My favorite response has been, "or it won't". People don't really know how to take that one!
We've been ttc for over a year now. My two sisters-in-law conceived during that time. One had a boy last month, and the other is due in October. That has been tough. Family get togethers usually have some "baby story" time and I just can't handle it at times. I'm genuinely happy for them but it's so hard to not be angry, or bitter, or jealous. I value the relationships I have with them, but at times it is difficult as both pregnancies were "oops" ones.
Some of the worst moments have been when a 19 year old co-worker got pregnant "by accident" and told me "don't worry. Some day you'll be pregnant just like me". No I won't be pregnant "just like you"! It won't be unexpected after a few months of fooling around with a boyfriend. It will be with my husband who wants to be a father to my child in more than a biological way.
Mothers day was fun too.
We had a potluck at my church and it seemed that there was quite a fuss being made about the mothers. That's fine, but it was hard. Out of all the women there, I was the only one who, not for lack of trying, wasn't a mother. When we went to eat, they announced that the mothers should go first. I was left with all the men while every single woman went to fill up their plate. I haven't felt so unfeminine or ugly in all my life. I know that wasn't the intent, but that doesn't change how I felt. After an unhappy for me meal I was ready to leave. I'd had enough emotionally, and managed to look like I was doing fine. As I was going and older lady in the church came up to me and said something like, "so when are you going to be a mother? It's your turn. You should really think about having kids soon". I burst into tears
and sobbed all the way home. I then got to go to work at the restaurant I used to waitress at, and serve mothers as they griped about no sleep, messy diapers, etc.
The only happy thing I can pull out of this is that I have a lot more compassion for women ttc. Thank you for being here, and for your patience. I just had to share with someone how I've been feeling. My DH knows and listens, but I don't want to bore him every day. Sorry this has been a long post, it's just been inside for far too long and I know none of you would dare say, "just relax, and it'll happen".
