If anyone else tells me to 'just relax and it'll happen', I will....

[Reb S]

hopefully most people on the LTTTC forum know all that anyway but it's always good to be reminded to have LOADS OF SEX!!!

Um, but not too much sex, lol. You don't want that count to tank (yes, you have been ltttc when you know what your OHs count looks like after daily sex versus 4 days of abstinence).

Believe me, at my age, every other night feels like loads!

 

[Reb S]

In fact, this month it's practically every other week!!!

 

[fisher640]

@readyformore

 

[LekkerSlaap]

I absolutely agree. I was just talking about this with my roommate. I'm so SICK and tired of people telling me to stop thinking about it and it will happen. SERIOUSLY! I didn't think about it for 2 years of not using any form of birth control with my ex fiance and never got prego. Now that I've been married for 4 years OF COURSE I'm going to think about it! I'm 26 years old! I want to have a baby. Everyone says you have all the time in the world. I don't know about other people but due to my back issues I'd like to be able to roll around on the floor with my child(ren) while I still can! *sigh*

 

[ellesedona]

my youngest sister and bro in law are trying to conceive. they have been going through all the steps and doing what they are supposed to do. i live in another state and i love them so much. i wish i could be with them. she just found out this last treatment did not work as of today and she feels in her words 'defeated.' i have been searching for support groups in her area to no avail. no one could possibly be of help to them when they are not going through the same. does anyone out there know of any support groups in the state of colorado, boulder county that specializes in iui failures? i dont know what else to call them but there must be something out there? any help is appreciated...p.s. she doesnt know im doing this. thank you.

 

[ellesedona]

my youngest sister and bro in law are trying to conceive. they have been going through all the steps and doing what they are supposed to do. i live in another state and i love them so much. i wish i could be with them. she just found out this last treatment did not work as of today and she feels in her words 'defeated.' i have been searching for support groups in her area to no avail. no one could possibly be of help to them when they are not going through the same. does anyone out there know of any support groups in the state of colorado, boulder county that specializes in iui failures? i dont know what else to call them but there must be something out there? any help is appreciated...p.s. she doesnt know im doing this. thank you.

 

[Armywife84]

I feel sorry for the next person who says that to me because I'll either punch them (probably not, but will really want to) or give them an earful.

 

[urchin]

Ellesdona - I'd try making a new thread for your question, more
people will se it that way x

ooo yes, RELAXING - now why didn't I think of that?
I shall make like the Sims and have a quick relax and watch my egg levels go back up to bountiful level shall I?

 

[fisher640]

my youngest sister and bro in law are trying to conceive. they have been going through all the steps and doing what they are supposed to do. i live in another state and i love them so much. i wish i could be with them. she just found out this last treatment did not work as of today and she feels in her words 'defeated.' i have been searching for support groups in her area to no avail. no one could possibly be of help to them when they are not going through the same. does anyone out there know of any support groups in the state of colorado, boulder county that specializes in iui failures? i dont know what else to call them but there must be something out there? any help is appreciated...p.s. she doesnt know im doing this. thank you.

Is she on here, she should be. This is by far the best support group for TTC I can ever imagine. You can flit about from thread to thread or different areas of TTC based on your situation or current mood, plus you can be anonymous if you want. Anytime you're thinking about anything chances are someone else on here is too. Instant support group.

 

[Armywife84]

I was realizing today that "It will happen when it happens" is just one of those saying that people say in unfortunate situations, because they don't know what else to say and they think that it offers us LTTCers some kind of solace. Guess what? IT F-ING DOESN'T!!!! ...................all better.

 

[AnnetteCali]

I completely agree!! This is the PERFECT thread!! I am so sick of people saying... " just relax.. it will happen".. " it will happen in God's time"... " you are thinking about it too much".. " it will happen when you least expect it".. " you are stressing yourself out"... : " Pray on it"?!! lol.. I'm so over hearing what people have to say!!
Thanks for listening ladies!

 

[pixie77]

Okay, you read the title! How many people have told you - 'it'll happen when you're not thinking about it!' 'Just relax!' 'Give up and it'll happen!' GRRRRRRRRR!

Suggestions as to responses, please ladies - polite or otherwise!
x

I wish you could like this post as on facebook. I sometimes feel like screaming and ramming there words back at them.

Its like saying whats wrongs when clearly you're angry and don't want to talk about it!

 

[Armywife84]

Oh and have you noticed that the only people who say that,

A. already have children and didn't struggle to conceive them.
B. are single.
C. are married and haven't started trying yet.

I also hate when pregnant women say, "When you stop trying it will happen". What works for the goose is not going to necessarily work for the gander. And if I can't conceive while TTC, what makes you think I'm going to when I stop trying, especially with a male factor? Not trying isn't going to get me a baby either.

 

[Reb S]

Yes, I find it PARTICULARLY annoying when it's pregnant women. Some of them've already forgotten anything they had to do to get knocked up and think it's the easiest thing in the world!

 

[ickle pand]

My own mother keeps telling me to relax about it and she's been to appointments at the fertility clinic with me when DH can't make it!! I just keep telling her that if it was as simple as that the Dr would give me prozac not put me on the waiting list for expensive, invasive treatment.

The other things I really hate people saying is "you can have one of my kids ha ha". No I effing don't, I want my own baby thank you very much. Or when their kids are playing up "You sure you want one of these". Actually no, we've been trying for 4 years, been referred to the fertility clinic for 3 years, had every test going and we're still on the fence about if we want kids or not. Idiots!

Oh and I've thought of another "Why don't you just adopt? There's plenty of kids that need a good home". Yeah your kids will need a home when I throttle you for being so insensitive lol!

Ah that feels better

 

[lacebaby]

Yipee!! Reb, Amanda.... I feel better already just from reading this thread. The insensitivity of people is absolutely unbelievable!! It is nice to release it on this site since we have to keep it bottled up so much of the time. Dealing with infertility is an incredibly personal thing and when we do decide to share information with someone, we really need the support. It just makes it that more depressing and frustrating when we get "the blow off". I just don't talk to people about it any longer. Or give very little information. Thanks for the venting!

 

[fisher640]

I also hate when pregnant women say, "When you stop trying it will happen". What works for the goose is not going to necessarily work for the gander. And if I can't conceive while TTC, what makes you think I'm going to when I stop trying, especially with a male factor? Not trying isn't going to get me a baby either.

Or the pregnant women that says "when are you going to have one?!" or "I think it's time for you now"

 

[wishingalways]

My own mother keeps telling me to relax about it and she's been to appointments at the fertility clinic with me when DH can't make it!! I just keep telling her that if it was as simple as that the Dr would give me prozac not put me on the waiting list for expensive, invasive treatment.

The other things I really hate people saying is "you can have one of my kids ha ha". No I effing don't, I want my own baby thank you very much. Or when their kids are playing up "You sure you want one of these". Actually no, we've been trying for 4 years, been referred to the fertility clinic for 3 years, had every test going and we're still on the fence about if we want kids or not. Idiots!

Oh and I've thought of another "Why don't you just adopt? There's plenty of kids that need a good home". Yeah your kids will need a home when I throttle you for being so insensitive lol!

Ah that feels better

Love it, everyone so true

 

[wishingalways]

Its hard as well when you meet new people and they ask are you going to have another one... its not there fault they havent a clue what they have said but you just answer yes and then having been reminded, you then feel rubbish.

 

[StorkStalker]

This thread is so wonderful!!

People, specially women (sadly) are so quick to jump into offering you the most hated words.. Relax and it will happen!! (with a smile and a pat on the back!) Hello?? I was relaxed until I saw this not happening!! It's been four years!! Oh, and thank you for bringing my infertility issues on your baby shower I struggled to come to for your "oops here comes another one" baby!!

Also I get a lot of " Little angels choose their parents from heaven, one will choose you" from friends that have become pregnant so easy.. What on earth are they thinking?? So what, from all the little angels in heaven 3 have chosen you, and every other friend, cousin, neighbor, teacher, etc and no angel whatsoever wants to choose me and my hubby?? If thoughts were swords I'd be guilty of murder!!

We have lost so many "friends" on our LTTC road.. Some people were plain hurtful and insensitive we decided to take out from our lives... One friend once told me directly to my face: Have you thought maybe God doesn't see you as a mother?? Why don't you make peace with it.. It's HIS will (she has two kids)... OMG I wanted to die... I am a loving wife, daughter, aunt, I do not take drugs, I don't smoke, I fight my battles.. And you tell me that?? So God sees a 16 year old as a mom and not me?? Aghhh the pain...

We have tried surrogacy (didn't result in a BFP) and some people took their friendship from us because that was the devil's way to have a baby... Have I cried...

In the end no I try to think no one says this hurtful things realizing it, but when you are close to someone, you know their grief, the pain, you should empathize and understand it takes a little more than relaxing (and exactly how could I?) or giving up hope..

One of my closests friends has had three separate pregnancies during my journey to conceive, and I had just stopped talking to her about where we are standing, and the other day she said, I'm so glad to see you have moved on with your life and not think about babies anymore.. I excused myself and left... How can one forget about their biggest dream?? Just because I don't tell you about it anymore it doesn't mean I'm over it... I'm actually in pain deep pain... But no one sees it...

Glad I found you guys..lots of love and good luck!! Oh, and I actually feel very happy for pregnancies that happen to people LTTC so if it happens to anyone of you I'll be thrilled... Its only when it's far too easy or accidental that I want to punch people in the face LOL ;-)