If FOB still sees your LO...

[AppleBlossom]

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[Becky]

I know what you mean hun, Im still kinda seeing that guy (if you remember) and Jacob calls him dada but we just ignore it. I would do whatever feels right for you him and Grace she will always know her 'dad' though x

 

[AppleBlossom]

I know what you mean hun, Im still kinda seeing that guy (if you remember) and Jacob calls him dada but we just ignore it. I would do whatever feels right for you him and Grace she will always know her 'dad' though x

.

 

[expecting09]

I think it depends on how old LO is, how much they understand and how much they see there biological father.

I don't know if this is relevant or not, but my mum and dad split when I was very young, and from the age of around 5/6 my mum had a new man in her life. I'm glad she never made me call him dad, and I've always called him by his first name. No matter what happened between my mum and my dad, my dad will always be my dad!

I do see what you mean though, with younger children its different, because they are obviously helping raising them. If your taking things slow with your new partner will your LO be getting to know him by his first name, then call him dad once you know things are serious? Could get confusing

 

[babybaillie]

I would like to hope that lo will never call anyone other than her dad, dad. As i know how i would feel if he finds a new partner and she calls her mum. So not sure what she would call him, but dads defo out of the question. Mite be diffrent if dad wasnt aorund. But he is

 

[Becky]

I know what you mean hun, Im still kinda seeing that guy (if you remember) and Jacob calls him dada but we just ignore it. I would do whatever feels right for you him and Grace she will always know her 'dad' though x

Ooh the hot one? lol and I mean I won't force it on her, she'll always know Jason is her "dad" she can't say dada at the minute anyway!

Yes the hot one still no progress there!

x

 

[xxannxx]

Its a difficult 1, but think that if i ever met someone else LO would call them by their 1st name, unless his dad was no longer in the picture. As much as i can't stand my ex, and its a constant fight about sticking to agreed times and days of access and about money, he is LO's dad and LO adores him, and although i think it takes a special guy to step in and help raise someone elses child, and hope i find 1 someday (lol), i think he would just have to understand that.

 

[Becky]

My situation is a bit different as well though Bex as Luke STILL hasnt seen Jacob x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Hmm... I dunno, it's so confusing. I think maybe the best thing would be to just to not encourage her to call him dad and if she picks up on his name rather than dada then that's ok. When she is a little bit older and understands more she can make up her mind from there I guess. And actually my ex tries to get Grace to call his boyfriend "dada paul" :/

 

[FierceAngel]

from another view my mum met my step dad wen i was 2 had my bro wen i was 4

i saw my dad once a week too.. always had (my parents split wen i was born my mum was very young 15)

i called my step dad daddy p (his name statrts with a p!)

now i call him by his first name but at xmas, birthdays, fathers day cards etc are always to dad and dad cards...

they are now divorced...

my mum is getting married next year and obv i wont call him dad lol but luisa is being taught tht he is her grandad just like my bro dad/ex step dad..



on the other hand oh grew up in similar siutuation his mum remarried and had his sister but he never called his step dad - dad but then he was 7 wen they married...


mil is very against outsiders/step parents being refered to as grandparents.. she sees it tht luisa has 2 grandmothers and two grandfathers


as for the mum side i think thts very different.. it is unusal for a step child to refer to their step mum as mum unless real mum isnt around or barely... usually the child is living with the father and the step mum iykwim...


sorry ive rambled but my point was.....

everyone is different and you have to do what makes you feel comfortable.. and also what your new partner is comfortable with...


xxx

 

[nessajane]

I think the title 'Dad' needs to be earned and not something you should take lightly. I personally if in your situation wouldnt want my child to call anyone i was seeing dad untill i knew 100% we were serious and a few years down the line. i think its important that the child doesnt get confused with who her real dad is, just imo xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Well that's what I was intending to do anyway

 

[Sarah88]

My friend has a step-dad and a biological one and she calls them both dad. No reason why not!

 

[AppleBlossom]

I still saw my biological dad up until I was 13. I called my mums partner and him "dad" although my biological dad wasn't really a dad to me. To be honest my new OH acts more like a dad to Grace than Jason does but obviously I can't change the fact that Jason is biologically her dad. I'll just have to see how it goes. But I know I would never try and make her think that my OH was her "real dad" she will alwys know she's Jason's daughter

 

[starbucks101]

I called my step-dad by his first name to start with then Daddy Steve and then i started calling him daddy all off my own back, i personally think thats the best way to do it... My LO started calling my partner Scott then Daddy and Daddy its stayed, she still says Scott occasionally but we just let her find her own little path....

 

[Pricey]

Just to add another perspective...

I'd be devastated as the father if my ex goes this way (even though it is), and tells my daughter to call that prick dad.

I don't think it's right. My Mum and Dad split up when I was 4, my Mum was alone for a bit then met someone she ended up being with for 10 years and I never once called him Dad, always by his name, or he was my "step dad".

 

[AppleBlossom]

Just to add another perspective...

I'd be devastated as the father if my ex goes this way (even though it is), and tells my daughter to call that prick dad.

I don't think it's right. My Mum and Dad split up when I was 4, my Mum was alone for a bit then met someone she ended up being with for 10 years and I never once called him Dad, always by his name, or he was my "step dad".

I understand that perspective but my feeling is though that you actually give a toss about your daughter. Ok my ex still sees grace once a week but that's it. No texts or phonecalls ever to ask if she is ok, has she learnt anything new. He doesn't buy her anything... my new OH doesn't live with me at the minute but every day he texts me and asks how Grace is and he buys her stuff. When he's here he plays with her. When my ex has her they go shopping (for him) or to see his family and one time he even took her over to his then got his mum to look after her while he went to get his hair done. Quality time indeed lol I wish he cared half as much as you do, I honestly do! But then if Grace just picks up on calling my OH by his name then that's fine, it's up to her at the end of the day. My ex is trying to get Grace to call his boyfriend dad apparently :/ how confusing must that be for her? lol

 

[bloodbinds]

Don't agree with a partner being called 'dad' is her actual dad is still in the picture and is involved with LO personally.

I mean, i would hate it if my LO started calling my ex's partner 'mum'!! And i know my ex would be deeply hurt and insulted if LO called anyone else Dad.

 

[woadie]

It depends how far out of the picture FOB is. How could there be a problem, if real dad has never ever been involved?! Or has broken all contact?

Otherwise, things are more complex and I feel that LO needs to know who Dad and Stepdad are as seperate people with seperate roles to play....

My stepdad was known as his first name to me, but to people, I referred to him as my dad, because that was the role he took on for me. That was my choice as the child.

I think children are very perceptive to who they see as the main caregiver and will make their own minds up how much they see the new partner as being a 'dad' as they get older

 

[BlackBerry25]

I was a teenager when my mom remarried so I just call my step dad by his first name.