If FOB still sees your LO...

[fordy]

i have three children whom all have different dads, not that they call them dad....my oldest is now 9 and i left that choice up to him he hasnt seen his "dad" since he was 3 yrs old, and he calls him "leo" as to his name as kian feels he isnt his dad.
when i met my oh 2 yrs ago i left it up to kian to decide what he wanted to call my oh and he decided to call him dad, now we are planning on getting married next yr and kian is asking questions such as when you and dad get married will dad be my real dad? or can i have his last name when you get married?? such a hard thing to talk to a 9 yr old about.
my 5 yr old his "dad" went to jail before he was born he came out when he was 3 yrs old, he only saw him about 6 times while he was in jail, and he always used to contact me asking how he was etc, when he came out of jail he saw him twice and found a new g/f and "forgot" about him....haiden (my son) also calls my oh dad.
my 4 yr old daughter's "dad" i had referred to him as "tony" and that is what she called him as she never met him except for one time when she was 4 weeks old and he kidnapped her...

the title "dad" is to be earned in my books, my oh has earnt that title he puts them to bed, gives them kisses and cuddles, tells them off when they are naughty, feeds them etc everything a "dad" should do and.........he stuck around.

so it all depends on you really, has the dad earned his title dad or will he run in the future like my three "sperm donors" did and end up breaking your LO heart???

 

[princessellie]

when i was 8 my mam met my ''step''dad, me and my little brother didnt see our biological dads at all and we were told that our stepdad was to be called dad, for the same reasons you said, that he was there all the time, that he looked after us, that he acted as a dad should, i didnt feel confused, just forgot sometimes and had to be corrected lol, looking back i think they did the right thing, my dad is my dad, and it feels weird calling him my step dad, he did adopt me when my mam and dad married though so slightly different situation, and my biological dad was nowhere to be seen so maybe thats why i wasnt so confused...

x

 

[Dinoslass]

When they are so small these things usually sort themselves out. Plus I think children are okay to call two persons dad. We have had many foster children and they either call us mum and dad or with our names. It is up to them when they are older. When they are younger they usually say mum and dad. Even if they have biological parents it never has been an issue really.
I think it'd be best to talk things through with your partner. I mean if it is serious then he would be her day to day daddy, so she will probably call him that, especially once at school. I noticed that with our own lot, calling us by our names (and it is more normal to do that here in Holland) but when they went to school starting to say mum and dad!