I'm a failure..

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by KatelynsMummy, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    :cry:
    My OH at his parents, until Friday discussing some things...
    I'm home alone with our LO who is 6 and a half month...
    When my OH is home, shes the most content baby you could ever meet... but when he's gone, so is the content side of her.
    She doesn't settle for me, right now, she is absolutely shattered but she wont nap and is screaming as I type this, fighting to get away from me, but if I put her down, she screams more, yet, if he came home, said hi and left, she would go straight to sleep. He's been gone 3 days now, and already I can feel the strain of having a constantly unhappy baby.
    I don't know what to do, we need her to start settling for me, makes me feels like she hates me because she just screams. :cry:
    It's really upsetting me and I feel like I'm failing to be her mother.
    I just don't understand, I'm the one that's done EVERYTHING since day one, yet she still prefers her dad.
    :cry:
    Sorry about the long thread, its just how I'm feeling and I feel totally alone, my OH cant come back as we dont have transport and theres a lot of things that need sorting, plus we agreed for him to be gone this long.
     
  2. msmissa

    msmissa Mommy of 1 & expecting

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    0
    Awww didn't want to read and run :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
     
  3. pinklizzy

    pinklizzy Mummy to two little bears

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Messages:
    4,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: Do you think she could be picking up on the fact that you are missing your OH?
    What's the weather like there, could you pop out for a walk with her? It always seems to work with my LO when she's tired but won't settle and some fresh air might help you too.
    Once you're both a bit calmer/happier you can start the day again :hugs:
     
  4. PrincessJenna

    PrincessJenna Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,252
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't want to read & run hun but not sure what I can say..... Is she always like this? When OH isn't there? Or has it jsut been the last few days x
     
  5. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    The weather is warm here, warmest its been since she was born. We went for a walk and she screamed the whole time, felt a little embarrassed if im honest, i know people were judging me :flower:
     
  6. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    She's like this every time he's gone, without fail :flower:
     
  7. oliviarose

    oliviarose Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2010
    Messages:
    3,159
    Likes Received:
    0
    Has she never settled for you? Or is it just a recent thing? Do you think she could be picking up vibes that you are upset because she wont settle? Could OH not come home to help you with LO.

    I'm so sorry I cannot offer anymore advice. You are doing a wonderful job and you certainly not failing her xxx
     
  8. DanielleM

    DanielleM Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    6,863
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: maybe it is just a phase that she is going through. I used to be so tense when OH was away at work and used to count down the hours till he was home to help me and I definatley think Jacob picked up on it, but he is now very content with both of us. I think it was just a phase! x
     
  9. cupcakekate

    cupcakekate Cooking baby #3 :)

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2010
    Messages:
    5,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    i was thinking this too. when i'm in a mood Belle seems to sense it and it makes her grumpy.. maybe your LO senses that something is amiss (missing your OH/him being away). i hope things get better soon for you hun- my OH was working away this week and Belle has started to teeth and it was a nightmare on my own, so i know how you feel xx
     
  10. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    She used to settle for me, then she hit the 5 month mark and wont, if shes tired, he has to put her down otherwise its a 3 hour fight to get her to sleep, which is what ive just had :cry:
     
  11. happigail

    happigail Mummy to Kitty and Ashy.

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2010
    Messages:
    3,485
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hugs to you sweetie x
     
  12. Odd Socks

    Odd Socks Mummy to 2 girls.

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    4,133
    Likes Received:
    0
    i remember when oh was away for a long weekend after being away most of the week before, bella was about the same age (maybe a couple of weeks older). i cried the day he left because i'd had a hellish few days with bella & didn't know how i'd manage. then i sat back & decided i'd simply have to make the most of things.

    so i dug out half a dozen dvds & spent the weekend simply snuggling with bella on the sofa, reading some of her books with her & watching dvds. i didn't worry about what needed to be done around the flat, i didn't feel like we had to go anywhere. we were both much more relaxed.

    xx
     
  13. Surprise

    Surprise Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2010
    Messages:
    1,355
    Likes Received:
    0
  14. RHR

    RHR Mummy 2 Isabelle & Sophie

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi, could you ring your OH or gt him to phone you and let him have a chat with your DD? Maybe just hearing her daddy's voice will help calm her down about for you. It may help or not, but it's worth a try if you're able to speak to each other.
     
  15. fantastica

    fantastica Mum.

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2009
    Messages:
    1,759
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sending hugs! It's nothing to do with you being a 'failure' hun, she can probably pick up that you're feeling anxious etc. Jacob used to be like that (it would drive me mad actually, cos OH never believed we could've had a bad day!). Just try and chill out and enjoy the alone time, maybe going for a walk would help settle her?

    I think it's much easier for men to do as the crying etc. doesn't get to them in the way it does for us, they are able to be much much calmer X
     
  16. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you ladies, ive just spent the last 3 hours fighting with her to get her sleep, shes now sock on in her cot, when she gets up I'm putting her in the bath, feeding her and we're going to go bed, I've just spoke to my OH and he said he's going to try and come home for a day so I can get some rest, don't know what I'd do without him, he's amazing with our LO, sometimes a little too good :haha:
     
  17. charlotte-xo

    charlotte-xo Alfie and Darcey's mummy

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    7,554
    Likes Received:
    0
    you are not a failure!! :hugs:

    <3
     
  18. oliviarose

    oliviarose Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2010
    Messages:
    3,159
    Likes Received:
    0
    It could be a phase that she is going through. I know that does not make you feel any better now xxx
     
  19. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    I hope its just a phase, its breaking my heart, I really do feel like she hates me :cry:
     
  20. mylittlebubs

    mylittlebubs Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,451
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: sorry i have no good advice but i've been there when my son was screaming and won't sleep. i used to sing for 3-4 hours at night to put him to sleep and 30 min later he would wake up crying more ....

    and as a mother I think as soon as we are mothers , people seem to think they have the right to judge us and say whatever they think without thinking...

    ..maybe talk to oh about how you feelM i think you must be tired as well having to deal with your lo alone when he was away, so your lo might sensed it :hugs:
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice