I'm a terrible person....

[Flip flop]

My DH and I were ttc until he changed his mind a couple of month ago saying he wasn't ready at the moment (and might never be but that's a whole different story).

Anyway I was devastated but had to accept it. We aren't being particularly careful and only using the withdrawal method because I really don't want to go back on the pill.

Last night we dtd and he pulled out as usual. I so desperately want this other baby that he no longer wants and keep hoping for a little accident as I know this method isn't very reliable. But last night I saw all the semen lying there and I just couldn't resist putting some inside me with my finger when he left the room.

I feel like an awful person but I want this so badly and we were trying until he decided to change his mind. I'm not really asking anything I just feel like confessing on here.

 

[xxmyheartxx]

Aww hun,big big hugs xxx

 

[wlovew]

Hey, accidents do happen

 

[Flip flop]

I'm really hoping for an accident, but I I felt I played a part in helping the accident along id feel terrible!

 

[misspriss]

If it helps, I hoped for an accident the entire 3 years we used withdrawal...didn't happen. But we knew we were not being 100%, so DH and I both knew it was a possibility.

 

[Flip flop]

If it helps, I hoped for an accident the entire 3 years we used withdrawal...didn't happen. But we knew we were not being 100%, so DH and I both knew it was a possibility.

Thanks, did you ever try and help it along on it's journey?

 

[misspriss]

If it helps, I hoped for an accident the entire 3 years we used withdrawal...didn't happen. But we knew we were not being 100%, so DH and I both knew it was a possibility.

Thanks, did you ever try and help it along on it's journey?

No, I felt that would be dishonest really. We were using withdrawal for a reason, because we weren't in a position in life where we were ready for children. We switched to natural family planning for religious reasons before we got married, and then still avoided for a few months before we were both ready.

 

[Flip flop]

Yeah that's why I'm dissapointed in myself

 

[Heather.1987]

.

 

[cncem]

Oh hunny, I don't think you should feel all that guilty. It probably won't work anyway, and after all if he really didn't want this to happen he should have been more proactive like using condoms. Accidents do happen. My husband was upset at first, like the very first day, but he came around very quickly and now is over the moon. I didn't think I could get pregnant and he never did anything to prevent it. Good luck, I hope it all works out and I wouldn't feel bad.

 

[wlovew]

You really shouldn't get down on yourself. You're married. If he is so set on not having more children he can go get a vasectomy. Just give it a few months and talk to him again about your desire for another. Be very open to hearing his side and be supportive so he doesn't feel the need to defend himself, and then maybe you can slowly, sweetly sway him

 

[Tink1o5]

Flip Flop - Nice to see you around here again. Your DH already knows the pull out method is not 100 percent. As for you helping him, Im sure if you "did" end up pregnant then you would probably want to tell him. Otherwise it may eat at you if its bothering you that much. Sending your way hun

 

[Flip flop]

Thanks everyone. If I did end up pregnant I probably would have to tell him but then there may be trust issues. I really hope I don't do it again!

How often do you think I should bring up the Idea of having another? It took a year last time then there's the pregnancy for 9 months! Ds is already almost 2.

 

[misspriss]

I think you should bring it up with your OH, this is obviously something you feel strongly about, and he had agreed until recently. It isn't terribly fair for him to just snatch that away from you possibly forever after he already agreed. It sounds like you need to seriously discuss this with him.

DH and I had an unplanned pregnancy in June, it ended in a very early MC and I was determined to start TTC after that, but DH kept saying he wasn't ready and might never be, we started TTC and got pregnant right away. I simple had a couple of serious talks with him. We went on a date, both got a little drunk, and I really listened to his dreams and fears, it was at this point we decided to start TTC. Maybe you need to ask him what is up? Why did he change his mind? But I'd recommend a nice setting, like a nice dinner or something, don't make him feel like you are attacking him about it, if that makes sense?

 

[Flip flop]

Thanks miss pride. He changes his mind because he said he doesn't think he can go through the stress again. He said it was a rushed decision in the first place and he only agreed because he hadn't thought about it properly.

I agreed to stop trying for now until he sorts himself out but I it's eating away at me. I did manage to get him to agree that it would happen at some point just don't know when. I felt I needed to say that just to get him to agree at all but now I feel like I don't have a time frame.

I know we should probably discuss it In a relaxed way but I just feel afraid to bring it up now because he hates discussing it.

 

[baby D]

Aww hun try not to feel down. Now you have done this once, and realise how guilty it makes you feel, then I'm sure you'll be able to stop yourself doing it again.

I'm in the same boat with my OH he flips between never and maybe one day....we are currently relying on the pull out method which we both know isn't 100% reliable x

 

[Flip flop]

I'm really don't think I will do it again now that I've got it out in the open on here. I want us both to be at least on the same page if and when it happens.

I guess you are hoping for a happy accident too baby d? Its funny that they don't want it so much but they are still willing to risk using the pullout method!

 

[babifever]

1) I doubt you will get pregnant from this.

2) Dont do it again. Its wrong to cause a child against someone's will. You wouldn't want him to do it to you......things happen dont beat yourself up tho hun.

3) Hopefully one day he will change his mind.

 

[Flip flop]

I know it is wrong. My head is just a bit all over the place at the moment because I'm not getting something I thought I was. I can get it out my head.

 

[Flip flop]

Do you think I should ask for a timeframe and risk it being ages away?