I'm a terrible person....

[babifever]

Do you think I should ask for a timeframe and risk it being ages away?

I wouldn't. But I would let him know its a desire of yours.....and go from there.

 

[kate_]

Sperm dies the moment in comes in contact with oxygen, and even if it doesn't must be kept in perfect conditions to still be viable. I.e sperm donations, the sperm must be collected and then instantly stored in a sperm friendly environment. My advice would be to calmly ask your husband why he changed his mind. He may have something going on at work or an emotional struggle he may not have talked with you about yet. Opening yourself up to him emotionally will comfort him and maybe tell you things you had no idea about (coming from someone with an emotionally damaged husband I understand how frustrating this can be) Either way you also need to make him understand that this is something you want very badly and that there needs to be some sort of compromise to make both parties happy. Thats marriage after all! Good luck!

 

[wonders10]

I don't believe sperm die as soon as they hit oxygen...Otherwise, artificial insemination would never work. It has to hit oxygen at some point before its inseminated, stored or frozen, etc.

That being said, I have no idea how much semen was there how much you were able to get in you, etc. I wouldn't feel bad. But I think its because I've thought of these things myself. The fact that you are relying on pull out as your method means he is willing to risk it or doesn't realize that pull out can be a risky method. That being said, I fell pregnant using pull out, after a year of it working perfectly. Sadly, it ended in miscarriage but I did get pg and I have no idea how because he always seemed to have plenty in him when he pulled out.

I would see what happens in your TWW, if you are not pregnant, I would sit down with him when he is in a good mood and just discuss it. Tell him its not because you are pressuring him but you want to know his thoughts on it and express yours as well. Sometimes men are utterly clueless about this stuff.

 

[LilRu]

Don't feel bad...if your DH has a good reason why he wants to hold off, sometimes men can be a little more realistic than women, especially when our maternal instincts kick in. Buuuuut, if he's just scared, hey accidents happen. Maybe that's the push he needs
Anyhow, I do agree with the other women, you need to have a nice conversation with him about how you want another child. Maybe give him a few reasons, like your 1st needs a sibling, what if it takes a whole year to get pg...and let him know all the reasons why you feel the time is right. Then, you must listen to his reasons why he feels the time is not right. If his only reason is "stress", maybe you can promise not to stress while ttc. And this time around, since it's your second, it will be more fun and less urgency. If he has other good reasons, then marriage is also compromise, so you guys need to figure out a way to meet in the middle.

GL to you!!! Don't stress about this, your DH loves you and he probably does have the best intentions.

 

[hiphophooray]

Have you guys bd even using the pull out method the day/couple days before or after? Cause if so we all know the pull out method can fail, then who's to say if you do get pregnant it was that time GL hun and dont feel bad, sometimes our men just aren't as willing to accept their ready

 

[prettybirdy27]

Honestly, I think you need to tell him that you did this.

 

[Flip flop]

Yeah we did bd other times too so could put it down to that if I was pregnant. I don't think I'll tell him for the moment anyway as would cause unneccesary strain, I'll treat it as a little white kind of lie for the moment.

He already knows my reasons I know know his, he doesn't think he can go through it again and he thinks we can't afford it. I think we can afford it though because our first will be getting his free nursery hours soon then it'll be school! I earn More than my hubby so Maybe it seems to him like he can't afford it but we as a couple can. He is also happy being able to so things again like go to the pub but I don't think he should be doing that so much anyway.

I feel I want one now but did get him agree to wait but I don't know for how long

Also I don't think sperm dies as soon as it hits the air

 

[kate_]

Yes, it doesn't die the second it hits the air, however it loses almost all motility and once the sperm is 'dry' it is most likely dead. - w w w.babymed .com/info/sperm-life Anyways, the point is, is the chances of you artificially inseminating yourself with ejaculation on your sheets is slim to none. I wouldn't feel bad, but I wouldn't do it again.

 

[Flip flop]

Yes, it doesn't die the second it hits the air, however it loses almost all motility and once the sperm is 'dry' it is most likely dead. - w w w.babymed .com/info/sperm-life Anyways, the point is, is the chances of you artificially inseminating yourself with ejaculation on your sheets is slim to none. I wouldn't feel bad, but I wouldn't do it again.

That's an interesting article. I've read so much contradictory information about it's lifespan it's hard to know whats right and wrong.

 

[lewood88]

I've done something bad too, my OH decided he didn't want anymore babies because he mom had to have her say, well I can't go on the pill (long story) it's a no no, I've had the coil and the strings went up and it killed to have it removed so again a big no no, well I still check to see if I'm ovulating as I'm on metformin for my pcos and I ovulated Monday and still had a strong oh surge yesterday, well yesterday morning me and oh had sex, he didn't pull out we didn't use anything and he came inside me so the way I see it he don't want kids he's gotta do the leg work to prevent it and he didn't so it's his own fault! He knows if I was to become pregnant I would never have an abortion as I don't agree with it

And the pull out method is not a safe option i concieved dd1 with the pull out method

 

[Flip flop]

I've done something bad too, my OH decided he didn't want anymore babies because he mom had to have her say, well I can't go on the pill (long story) it's a no no, I've had the coil and the strings went up and it killed to have it removed so again a big no no, well I still check to see if I'm ovulating as I'm on metformin for my pcos and I ovulated Monday and still had a strong oh surge yesterday, well yesterday morning me and oh had sex, he didn't pull out we didn't use anything and he came inside me so the way I see it he don't want kids he's gotta do the leg work to prevent it and he didn't so it's his own fault! He knows if I was to become pregnant I would never have an abortion as I don't agree with it

And the pull out method is not a safe option i concieved dd1 with the pull out method

I don't see what you have done wrong?

Also when you used the pullout method did he pull out in time?

 

[lewood88]

Yea he did and I still got pregnant, u gotta think men precome while having sex and that has sperm in it aswell, Oh has got what I call " super skunk",when I do ovulate ( which don't happen often) he gets me pregnant lol

 

[Flip flop]

Yea he did and I still got pregnant, u gotta think men precome while having sex and that has sperm in it aswell, Oh has got what I call " super skunk",when I do ovulate ( which don't happen often) he gets me pregnant lol

Lucky you! It doesn't happen to me that easily. I seems there debate about whether pre-cum contains sperm or not. I guess it does judging by the number of people who get pregnant using this method! Although I'm not sure if it's only if they have recently ejaculated and there is still sperm In their tubes.

 

[lewood88]

From what I have read it also contains sperm but not sure if it's because of left over sperm in the tubes I'll have to research it x

 

[tankel]

Flip Flop, I don't think what you did was that bad. It was a moment of weakness and it is very clear that you know it was wrong after you did it. I feel for you when you talk about your yearning for another baby. It took my DH 4 years before he was ready to start TTC seriously. I know that it seems like time is flying by, there always seems to be a count-down clock somewhere saying that you are running out of time, but that is not the case. If your DH is anything like mine, asking him for a time frame is pointless because it makes it an ultimatum of sorts and I am sure he doesn't want to be nailed down to any sort of date. My advice to you is not to tell the DH about your transgression as nothing good can come from it. If the opportunity arises for you two to have another talk about TTC, then do, but I wouldn't press the issue yet. Give him some time and don't stress about it (impossible I know). Enjoy your son and work toward saving up a nest egg. Then you can go to the DH and show him that you can afford another baby.

 

[Flip flop]

Thanks Tankel good advise. I won't ask for a time frame at the moment.
I earn more money than him and I know I can afford it.
In think if he spent less money on beer we maybe he would feel he could afford It too!

 

[Miss406]

I read that as soon as the semen is out in the air it dies off pretty quickly anyway, so the chances of you getting pregnant (I think) are quite slim. Obviously I don't wnat to pry into your personal life, but maybe you need to cook him his favourite meal and try to reason with him, maybe you both need to write a pros and cons list to having another baby. I really feel for you.

 

[Flip flop]

I read that as soon as the semen is out in the air it dies off pretty quickly anyway, so the chances of you getting pregnant (I think) are quite slim. Obviously I don't wnat to pry into your personal life, but maybe you need to cook him his favourite meal and try to reason with him, maybe you both need to write a pros and cons list to having another baby. I really feel for you.

I wonder if that's the case if it's big blobs of it.

I think I'll wait until after Christmas is over, maybe once my brother has his new one in fen he'll change his mind

 

[Flip flop]

I dont think I need to worry about it anymore now as af is on way I think.