im at the end of my tether

[FEDup1981]

I am just so fed up and finding jack such hard work.

EVERTHING is a battle with him, and im totally worn out, and really dont enjoy this bit of being a mum.

On a morning i have to nag at him to eat his breakfast. Hes so fussy. He wont get washed or brush his teeth. Then he wont get dressed. He just lays on the floor screaming and crying, and we have a fight to get him dressed. Then if we are going out, or going to nursery, he says "im not going" and i spend then next 30 mins bribing or fighting with him. He screams and cries whenever i ask him to do anything. And when his nappy needs changing he goes mad - yet he wont use the potty. Then at meal times we end up shouting at him to eat.
At bed time he will stand at the top of the stairs shouting for his dad, over and over again.

Seriously NOTHING is easy with him. Its a fight all the time and im so tired of it. He lays on the floor in shops and screams if he cant get his own way.

My hubby doesnt really understand, because hes not with him 24/7, but i am literally exhausted, and fighting to keep myself going with my depression, and i dont think i can cope any more.

 

[sabby52]

Awww hun, sounds like a bad case of the terrible twos
I know this is so easy said but it wont last forever
Cant think what else to say it has been a long time since I was there, but I know I am going to be back there pretty soon and I am so not looking forward to it.

 

[Whisper]

I don't have any advice really im yet to experience this...sending

As Sabby said it won't last forever.

Thinking about supernanny, have you got any sticker charts that you could try...? or have you done that before?

Say he gets a star if he gets dressed in the morning and if he eats all his dinner he gets another sticker, another sticker for staying in bed. Then at the end of the week he gets a present if all slots have stickers in them?
You could involve him by getting him to put the stickers on the chart and being involved.

Or i think supernanny did a mood chart thing so the lil boy would get smiley faces when he was good and sad faces when he was naughty, and the day was broken up into am/pm i think.....with the same basis of rewards for good behaviour etc.

x

 

[FEDup1981]

Thanks hun. So you think its just the terrible twos?, Hes 3 in 2 weeks! I wish it would change on that day!

Hes spoilt rotten, and i dont begrudge him anything. I want the best for him, what i never had, but he doesnt appreciate anything. Im really fed up.

 

[FEDup1981]

Thanks, ill look into that supernanny thing. I really need to do something. Its just so hard to be consistant when hes screaming and crying.

 

[vicky]

their is a supernanny website they give lots of advice on thei rhun

 

[princess_bump]

not much advice from me honey as maddi is my first but i do hope he gets better soon, i too agree how fab supernanny is x

 

[JaysMum+Bump]

omg you could have been talking about my lil boy there! I kno exactly how u feel! Jaycob was 3 on the 14th so they r close in age to! Everything it 'such' a battle from getting him to eat his meals, nappy changes (he refuses to use potty to!) even doing something nice turns into a drama! I just feel like all i do is shout at him (im extremely patient but wat do u do after saying something for the 15th time?!) and tell him stop doing that, dont do that, WILL YOU JUST DO AS YOU ARE TOLD!!! I to am not enjoying this part of being on mum UNTIL he turns on his charm and starts behaving like a angel with those puppy dog eyes and muuuummmmyy i love you! I also feel no one understands im on the fone most nites to my mum upset about something or other and shes like ahh he cant be that bad - then when we went over 4 tea the other night he kicked off and she was like oooo he is a bit of a struggle isnt he - but awww bless him!! Its ok for her to sit there and say aww bless him but she wouldnt be saying that if she had to deal with it 10 thousand times a day!!! anyways i think i went into vent mode as well there! lol I just wanted to say i have no words of advice im afraid but ur not the only one out there lol im hoping its just a 'phase' and considering there r others the same age acting the same im leaning more to the fact that its just a phase (thankfully!) if u wanna talk or rant about things im always here!!! Its hard as one minute he can b a complete angel then the next a lil devil! its crazy!

 

[JaysMum+Bump]

i too have tried all the supernanny things, it worked for a while but now he throws himself off the step flails around screaming crying u cant do anything when theyre in full blown temper tantrum can u! ive tried takin things off him, sticker charts the works but to no avail! Looks like im (we're) just going to have to ride the storm out! lol

 

[brownhairedmom]

Oh I'm so dreading the tantrums

I'm sure its just a stage, but difficult to deal with none the less! If the super nanny things don't work, can you try to book an appointment with a behavioural therapist? My younger cousin was a complete nightmare, so much that he's banned from the store by his house! His mom took him to see a behavioural therapist and he/she talked to them about like how he feels when he gets angry, why he gets angry, why he feels like he needs to scream, etc...and then they taught his mom like how to deal with him and everything. Just a suggestion if its really too much to deal with

 

[leeanne]

My son was like this but it does get better! He didn't go into full blown kicking on the floor tantrums, but we'd have the whining for an hour match and it drove me bonkers. He's so persistent and stubborn. However, those whining matches are pretty much gone now.

Many times it was my own fault as he was hungry so would go into a tangent and was definitely better after he ate. Often times, it's a simple thing as hunger that gets them going.

As for dressing him, I had to do that all the time until I had my C-section and mommy was in pain and couldn't help him. I worked that pain even when I didn't feel it anymore. LOL

The reward system does work, but you have to remember to do it each and every day. I started the marble thing but forgot about it for a few days here and there and now I've wrecked that. LOL

I also found that by just ignoring the behaviour and him not getting his way, he would stop.

 

[leeanne]

One more thing I will add. I gave and gave to my kids too as I didn't want them to go without. But part of the thing that did help was not buying Jayden the things he wanted when he asked and not so often. He rarely gets a new toy anymore, etc.

 

[xjade_edenx]

hiya sorry to hearyour having such a bad time , bless ya
rite i have read that reverse phycology is the best thing like if they wont get dressed to go somewhere you say " fine i'll go all by my self and leave the room so they can't see you or if they wont eat their dinner " I bet you can't eat it all up like daddy/ or brother etc" well you get the point lol
but it does work my mum uses it on my younger sister since she was 2 and she is now four , also for the screaming in the shop i've heard that if you copy them they feel embaresed and will stop( obviously you will have to look like a right freak but it works. hope this helps

 

[:D happy D:]

My oldest daughter is exactly the same atm seems to slowly be calming down, i know how frustrating it can be stay positive

 

[Vickie]

 

[emma_27]

My son is abit like this everything is hard work and nothing is every simple. I think its more the terrible threes thans twos. I think apart of my problem is that his so spoilt. I hope it doesnt last for much longer cus its driving me crackers. Sorry i dont have any advice but i hope its just a phase for you also.

 

[FEDup1981]

omg you could have been talking about my lil boy there! I kno exactly how u feel! Jaycob was 3 on the 14th so they r close in age to! Everything it 'such' a battle from getting him to eat his meals, nappy changes (he refuses to use potty to!) even doing something nice turns into a drama! I just feel like all i do is shout at him (im extremely patient but wat do u do after saying something for the 15th time?!) and tell him stop doing that, dont do that, WILL YOU JUST DO AS YOU ARE TOLD!!! I to am not enjoying this part of being on mum UNTIL he turns on his charm and starts behaving like a angel with those puppy dog eyes and muuuummmmyy i love you! I also feel no one understands im on the fone most nites to my mum upset about something or other and shes like ahh he cant be that bad - then when we went over 4 tea the other night he kicked off and she was like oooo he is a bit of a struggle isnt he - but awww bless him!! Its ok for her to sit there and say aww bless him but she wouldnt be saying that if she had to deal with it 10 thousand times a day!!! anyways i think i went into vent mode as well there! lol I just wanted to say i have no words of advice im afraid but ur not the only one out there lol im hoping its just a 'phase' and considering there r others the same age acting the same im leaning more to the fact that its just a phase (thankfully!) if u wanna talk or rant about things im always here!!! Its hard as one minute he can b a complete angel then the next a lil devil! its crazy!

Thank god im not alone!!

I hope its a phase, and he moves on from it soon, but i cant see it happening for a while yet!!

Think we'll just have to support each other! Or go mad together!

 

[FEDup1981]

One more thing I will add. I gave and gave to my kids too as I didn't want them to go without. But part of the thing that did help was not buying Jayden the things he wanted when he asked and not so often. He rarely gets a new toy anymore, etc.

thats my trouble, he gets everything he wants,and i mean everything. I spoil him when im out, even when hes not with me, and i give into everything he wants for an easy life. Think im gonna have to curb this a bit.

 

[FEDup1981]

hiya sorry to hearyour having such a bad time , bless ya
rite i have read that reverse phycology is the best thing like if they wont get dressed to go somewhere you say " fine i'll go all by my self and leave the room so they can't see you or if they wont eat their dinner " I bet you can't eat it all up like daddy/ or brother etc" well you get the point lol
but it does work my mum uses it on my younger sister since she was 2 and she is now four , also for the screaming in the shop i've heard that if you copy them they feel embaresed and will stop( obviously you will have to look like a right freak but it works. hope this helps

ive tried the reverse psychology. I go out the door without him and he doesnt care. I walk off and leave him and he doesnt care. I try the food thing, and he doesnt care BUT i havent tried the lying on the shop floor screaming yet!! and prob wont!! hehehehe

 

[FEDup1981]

Thank u everyone, so much for replying. The support means so much, that i can vent my frustrations without feeling like a crap mother,or being judged as one. Its nice to know that other people are going through this, and my son is not the exception.