Im desperate help please

[samsugar7]

OH's daughter stays here 4 nights over a course of a fortnight. We live in a 2 bed house so she shares a room with Jaden.

My problem is that jaden still wakes up in the night but will have a walk around then will go straight back to sleep. OH's daughter is 5 and doesnt understand to just ignore him and go back to sleep, she thinks that if he is awake it means its time to get up.

This morning i had to get up at 3am because he wouldnt settle because she had been chatting to him. How can i get her to understand to just go back to sleep? It might only be 4 nights a week but it messes me and Jaden up completely.

Thank you for reading

x

 

[billy2mm]

do you wake up when your lo wakes up? if so just go in and make sure she doesnt speak to him.

 

[samsugar7]

do you wake up when your lo wakes up? if so just go in and make sure she doesnt speak to him.

If i go in Jaden wont go back to sleep, i listen to him on the monitor to make sure he gets back into bed.

x

 

[billy2mm]

could your step-daughter sleep in your room for those 4 days then? till she is old enough to understand that she cant speak to him?

 

[samsugar7]

could your step-daughter sleep in your room for those 4 days then? till she is old enough to understand that she cant speak to him?

We tried that but she keeps getting into out bed! I dont feel comfortable with that because all sorts of stories go home and i wouldnt want to be accused of doing anything.

Sorry that might sound wierd but there are a lot of issues coming from home including her having seen her mum having sex several times and is well aware of the organs and what they are for. I can wear PJ's but OH just gets too hot and with an extra body in bed he wouldnd be able too.

Thank you for the suggestions though.

x

 

[CLH_X3]

how about some sort of reward system, if she ignores him and goes back to sleep then she gets a treat in the morning?

or the only other thing i can think of is being a bit more firm with her? maybe if she does it tell her of a little?

 

[TattiesMum]

Get her one of these

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product...m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=1PMJ3VYBYCYK5DHPWKNR

Then teach her that, even if Jaden gets up, if the bunny's eyes are closed then it's still night time and everyone should be asleep .... couple it with a reward chart and you've got a winner

 

[samsugar7]

Get her one of these

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product...m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=1PMJ3VYBYCYK5DHPWKNR

Then teach her that, even if Jaden gets up, if the bunny's eyes are closed then it's still night time and everyone should be asleep .... couple it with a reward chart and you've got a winner

This was one of my first thoughts, we have a ITNG one and she has a reward jar but she just wont listen. 2am i was up this morning but managed to get Jaden into my bed and back to sleep till 5am.

The problem is that it messes up Jadens sleeping patterns and we find it hard enough getting him to sleep through after 4am as it is. At her mums home she will just turn on a dvd if she wakes up and thats how she goes to sleep so its hard enough to get her to sleep. I just dont agree with using a DVD as a baby sitter and dont want one in ther room and can only imagine Jaden not sleeping much if there is one going on.

 

[whitelilly]

Rewards systms only work if they are clearly explained and if the reward is worth it. Iwould explain to her that sleep helps her brain develop and it also helps her baby brothrs brai develop. Get her a clock and explain that she is to stay in bed quietly until the clock says XXx even if J is still asleep. If she does well, she will get a star! If she gets a star every night by the end of her stay she gets a reward xx

 

[samsugar7]

Rewards systms only work if they are clearly explained and if the reward is worth it. Iwould explain to her that sleep helps her brain develop and it also helps her baby brothrs brai develop. Get her a clock and explain that she is to stay in bed quietly until the clock says XXx even if J is still asleep. If she does well, she will get a star! If she gets a star every night by the end of her stay she gets a reward xx

At her mums house she is given sweets whenever she wants, we use them in her reward jar so she really misses not getting them and really enjoys it when she has several sweets left in her jar.

She is clever and will even remind us if we forget to take some out when she does something wrong. So she knows she will loose sweets if she doesnt stay quiet, she just chooses not to do as we ask.

On other things such as swearing or hitting she is 99% better than she was so she has learnt them i dont understand why this one is so difficult to grasp.

Thank you

Sam

 

[kiwimama]

It must be really hard, and for your sd as well because she's not getting a very good routine at home by the sounds of it which doesn't help. If she has associated falling asleep with dvds/ tv, then when she wakes in the night she will find it hard to get back to sleep without the tv on. No advice sorry as it sounds like you have tried most of the stuff that usually works for kids her age.

 

[TattiesMum]

It does sound like you have tried everything It might be worth using a star chart just for night time and the reward jar for everything else - so you are making the night time routine something 'special' ?

You could try involving her as a 'grown up' .... explain to her that it's important that Jaden gets enough sleep to help him grow and that, as his big sister, she can help him do that.

 

[ladyjayne]

We have had similar problems we had my SD here for 7 weeks and she shared a room with Finn. We did as tatties mum suggested and explained to her that as BIG Sister it was her job to teach finn how to sleep properly ( we were having problems with finns sleep) and that no matter what he did at night she had to show him that big kids stay asleep. A couple of times it failed miserably and they ended up playing but we kept going over it and eventually it sank in, I htink couple that in with a special reward chart and it might work? xx

 

[Katew]

I would play the big sister role and go with rewards - NOT sweets though. If she is given sweets at home then use something different as a reward. If worse come to worse could she/ or Jadan sleep in your room for a short while - Pop Jadans bed in the corner of your room or how about making a special place for little girl to sleep. With her in your room and with the use of one of those clocks you could say that she is not allowed up until the clock shows daytime.

Good luck with it.

 

[divadexie]

do the supernanny bed time thing and just keep taking her to bed again and say be quiet
also the clock and reward charts say if she goes x nights not talking to him she can pick something special

 

[Sam9kids]

agree with the rewards hun xx