Im feeling really low and dont know what to do

[crystal443]

I belong here with you.

I've been ttc #4 for 15 cycles now. Perfectly normal cycles, perfect ewcm, perfect timing, etc. I have come to the realization that sex isn't going to get me pregnant. It's obviously not working.

Our children are 8, 6, and 2 (in Nov they all have birthdays and will be 9, 7, and 3).

I did have unexplained infertility while ttc #1. Now, I'm in the same boat. I'm back to the RE and doing IUI again.

My feelings are so mixed. I feel so fortunate to have my 3 children (especially after #1 was AR). But, it just seems unfair to have to go through infertility twice. I feel like I'm being punished for having 3 kids. The feelings/emotions of infertility with #1 and #4 are so similar that it's unbelievable. The biggest differnce I've noticed is that when you are struggling to conceive and it's not your first, you have virtually no support from anyone. It's very lonely. I often say that "I'm on my own private island." I don't know anyone personally that struggles with conception. My friends that have large families didn't struggle. My friends with smaller families think I'm crazy for wanting another. At least with my first, everyone cheered me on and cried with me.

And let's just do away with "I do love my children that I currently have." That goes without saying. And honestly, I'm tired of validating that. So don't feel you have to validate or explain yourself to me (us). Obviously we love our children or we wouldn't be so depressed at our failure to conceive them.

I don't know why i do this and your right there's no need to validate the love i have for my 4 children. They are the most amazing people in my life and i love them so much. I think it's because when people ask me why do you want another baby? and aren't you happy with the four you have? i feel the need to validate it for those reasons.

awww ready you're so right in so many ways. I've got a DD15 that I had troubles conceiving and needed Clomid, and a DS13 that I had to take Clomid and then we couldn't conceive again. So no BC since DS and I do feel like I'm on my own private island of misery sometimes. I don't even remember what its like to be pregnant so I sometimes feel like we're TTC #1 not #3. It does get lonely when you have issues getting pregnant because everyone around us moves on and we're still stuck in one spot. I don't validate that I love my kids, we want another because we always planned on 3 or 4 kids, that's our story

 

[mummymurray74]

Hope we can cheer u up lovely,by the way u are beautiful,xxx

Ahh you already have! What lovely girls you all are! Beautiful?? Thank you, ooohhh you are wonderful, you really have cheered me up!! Im trying to tell myself it WILL happen over and over!!!!

What day is everybody on?? I have around ten days till i ovulate i think, thats assuming that i dont have a crazy messed up cycle this month, like last month! they say relax and go on holiday and some people come back pregnant ..... i relax and go on holiday and come back messed up instead of knocked up!!!!!!

So girls lets keep track this month of everyones important time and give our support to each other and have a laugh, and do our dreaded 2 week wait here together!! So whos first for ovulation???? And where does everyone live?

 

[mummymurray74]

I belong here with you.

I've been ttc #4 for 15 cycles now. Perfectly normal cycles, perfect ewcm, perfect timing, etc. I have come to the realization that sex isn't going to get me pregnant. It's obviously not working.

Our children are 8, 6, and 2 (in Nov they all have birthdays and will be 9, 7, and 3).

I did have unexplained infertility while ttc #1. Now, I'm in the same boat. I'm back to the RE and doing IUI again.

My feelings are so mixed. I feel so fortunate to have my 3 children (especially after #1 was AR). But, it just seems unfair to have to go through infertility twice. I feel like I'm being punished for having 3 kids. The feelings/emotions of infertility with #1 and #4 are so similar that it's unbelievable. The biggest differnce I've noticed is that when you are struggling to conceive and it's not your first, you have virtually no support from anyone. It's very lonely. I often say that "I'm on my own private island." I don't know anyone personally that struggles with conception. My friends that have large families didn't struggle. My friends with smaller families think I'm crazy for wanting another. At least with my first, everyone cheered me on and cried with me.

And let's just do away with "I do love my children that I currently have." That goes without saying. And honestly, I'm tired of validating that. So don't feel you have to validate or explain yourself to me (us). Obviously we love our children or we wouldn't be so depressed at our failure to conceive them.

I don't know why i do this and your right there's no need to validate the love i have for my 4 children. They are the most amazing people in my life and i love them so much. I think it's because when people ask me why do you want another baby? and aren't you happy with the four you have? i feel the need to validate it for those reasons.

awww ready you're so right in so many ways. I've got a DD15 that I had troubles conceiving and needed Clomid, and a DS13 that I had to take Clomid and then we couldn't conceive again. So no BC since DS and I do feel like I'm on my own private island of misery sometimes. I don't even remember what its like to be pregnant so I sometimes feel like we're TTC #1 not #3. It does get lonely when you have issues getting pregnant because everyone around us moves on and we're still stuck in one spot. I don't validate that I love my kids, we want another because we always planned on 3 or 4 kids, that's our story

Totally know how you feel hun, we are all in the same boat here! Here for you, to cry, rant, whatever you want, we all understand

 

[Jodes2011]

Ladies you are so right! why do we do it? I agree jodes2011 its because people question us all the time, cant believe they wont refer you for that reason, i thought after 3 misscarriages you automatically got referred even if you didnt go to the EPAU! How far into your cycle are you this month? I soooo need this month to go right! My GP told me although he was referring me that i wouldnt need to be seen because i would be pregnant he was sure of it! He told me to recite" kun fayya koon" whenever i went to bed as i was dropping off to sleep to repeat it over and over and he Guaranteed me it works!!!!!!MMMMM hasnt worked so far, but if i could manage to get pregnant this month i would be over the moon!!

they won't proof you've miscarried thats how mad the NHS is. I went to the EPAU with my 1st mc and with my 2nd i rang them and told not to bother coming in because it was coming away naturally and my 3rd was a chemical which only lasted 2 days I'm about to ovulate (i bloody hope so anyway) i'm on day 14. Going for my next lot of acupunture tonight and she will be treating me for ovulation this week. Go timing i might add x

 

[Jodes2011]

Hope we can cheer u up lovely,by the way u are beautiful,xxx

Ahh you already have! What lovely girls you all are! Beautiful?? Thank you, ooohhh you are wonderful, you really have cheered me up!! Im trying to tell myself it WILL happen over and over!!!!

What day is everybody on?? I have around ten days till i ovulate i think, thats assuming that i dont have a crazy messed up cycle this month, like last month! they say relax and go on holiday and some people come back pregnant ..... i relax and go on holiday and come back messed up instead of knocked up!!!!!!

So girls lets keep track this month of everyones important time and give our support to each other and have a laugh, and do our dreaded 2 week wait here together!! So whos first for ovulation???? And where does everyone live?

Everyone knows i love all you ladies

I live in Leeds but from Stockport

 

[mummymurray74]

Good luck tonight hun, and good luck with your ovulation!!! Lets see how many of us can get a bfp this month! Fingers crossed for you all x

 

[twigglet]

Hi can i join in x

im 36 trying for #3

been tying for 3 months nothing yet.

i live in essex

 

[mummymurray74]

Hi can i join in x

im 36 trying for #3

been tying for 3 months nothing yet.

i live in essex

Hiya Twigglet! Welcome! Essex!!!! Where abouts? You are very welcome to join us,

 

[twigglet]

Thank u

im in chelmsford.

 

[mummymurray74]

oooh so you are not far from me, im near Romford! How old are your others? Where is everyone else based? It would be lovely to all meet up once a month with our kids during the day somewhere, in the middle of where everyone lives?? So far we have chelmsford romford and leeds.........

 

[twigglet]

i have two DS #1 = 19 #2 = 18

my OH has none so thats why im trying to go again.
Plus i have this burning urg to have one more ( a girl would be nice )

im on CD18 today

 

[readyformore]

I'm in the 2ww. 6dpIUI.

AF due on 9-22.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to meet for any playdates. I'm clear across the ocean, lol.

 

[Jodes2011]

it would be difficult for me too but when i'm next in London i will let you know xx

 

[mummymurray74]

i have two DS #1 = 19 #2 = 18

my OH has none so thats why im trying to go again.
Plus i have this burning urg to have one more ( a girl would be nice )

im on CD18 today

Another co-incidence! We want a girl desperately too! so does Jodes!!!!

 

[mummymurray74]

it would be difficult for me too but when i'm next in London i will let you know xx

Does everybody drive at all??

 

[Jodes2011]

it would be difficult for me too but when i'm next in London i will let you know xx

Does everybody drive at all??

yes x

 

[mummymurray74]

it would be difficult for me too but when i'm next in London i will let you know xx

Does everybody drive at all??

yes x

Ive just looked up leeds, its 3 hours from me, so we could always go halfway somewhere and meet up in a few weeks?? And whoever else wants to join us is welcome, we can meet somewhere for at a play centre for those of us with kids so they can run around and anyone else even if you dont have any!

 

[Jodes2011]

it would be difficult for me too but when i'm next in London i will let you know xx

Does everybody drive at all??

yes x

Ive just looked up leeds, its 3 hours from me, so we could always go halfway somewhere and meet up in a few weeks?? And whoever else wants to join us is welcome, we can meet somewhere for at a play centre for those of us with kids so they can run around and anyone else even if you dont have any!

i could only do it during the weekends or school hols because my eldest 2 are at school and my 3 year old is starting nursery next week would be lovely to meet though

 

[mummymurray74]

Ok honey, well we will sort something out in a few weeks!!! And anyone else is welcome to join us too.

 

[littlesara]

hi there,

I'm sorry to hear about all that you are going through. I can sooooo relate. I have a similar situation, new hubby, one kid between us. older children with previous relationship. our youngest will be an only child if we can't "get it together".................i feel ya

we just have to keep praying, and checking everyday i guess. I'm 42 going on 43 and hubby is 41. u would think that after 5 kids, i would have no problem, so go figure!

Take heart, I will be praying for you too! I am anxious to hear any new developments on your end.

sara