I'M NEW!! Young TTC'er, conceive plus, 2WW and etc.

[Rachel789]

I think its all relative to one's situation. The money you make would not cut it for us, our mortgage is half of what you bring in monthly together! But if your bills are not crazy like ours then you can probably afford it.

I am 29 and have been with my DH for almost 9 years and we just recently became comfortable with where we are at in life mentally and financially to decide to have children. We have been working and saving for a long time and have a lot of money in the bank and I am still worried about the cost. I have a friend that just had a baby and she warned how quickly things add up that you would not even think about. Between my DH and I we bring in about 100k a year and it still is not even enough. Things just cost so much these days it is not the same as it was when my parents had me almost 30 years ago. I watched on the news and they said the average cost per child not including college is 240k, up 40% from 10 years ago mainly attriubted to child care cost, gas, and groceries. All the essentials that we cannot go without. Not to mention health care costs! It is scary but at the same time there is never a pefect time to have children.

The only advice I can give anyone regardless of age is to just be prepared with A LOT of money in the bank at least 6 months of expenses because you never know what can happen. Good luck to all of you

 

[BabyDoll123]

Well, like Rachel said, is all relative. What you and your DH makes will not cut it out for the quality of life I want for my child. If you are comfortable with what you have and are happy go for it.
Myself and DH both have university and graduate degrees and together make over $130,000 a year. We can dictate the jobs we want and when we want to work. In addition, we live in Canada where you get a whole year off for you and the baby (and paid).

I really wish you luck ladies and hope things do work out for you.

 

[Rachel789]

Well, like Rachel said, is all relative. What you and your DH makes will not cut it out for the quality of life I want for my child. If you are comfortable with what you have and are happy go for it.
Myself and DH both have university and graduate degrees and together make over $130,000 a year. We can dictate the jobs we want and when we want to work. In addition, we live in Canada where you get a whole year off for you and the baby (and paid).

I really wish you luck ladies and hope things do work out for you.

I am soooo jealous you get that kind of maternity leave in Canada. The maternity leave here in the states is a complete joke.

 

[BabyDoll123]

Well, like Rachel said, is all relative. What you and your DH makes will not cut it out for the quality of life I want for my child. If you are comfortable with what you have and are happy go for it.
Myself and DH both have university and graduate degrees and together make over $130,000 a year. We can dictate the jobs we want and when we want to work. In addition, we live in Canada where you get a whole year off for you and the baby (and paid).

I really wish you luck ladies and hope things do work out for you.

I am soooo jealous you get that kind of maternity leave in Canada. The maternity leave here in the states is a complete joke.

I know the Matt leave in the states is a complete joke trust me. I will get 12 months with my baby and i look forward to it. But bear in mind that Canada is almost a socialist country and you know you Americans hate socialism, see what Obama is facing.
We get free health care and time with our family. I pay a lot of tax but happy with what am getting

 

[nramirez1709]

Hello girls ! I am considered young as well. I just turned twenty and will be graduating with a degree in May. I have been with my boyfriend for over three years. We both work full-time in the fields we want to be. We have a nice apartment and two cars. It is really annoying to me, when people try to advise someone when to start a family or to wait to have one. Everyone is different. I'm sure we all know having a baby at 16 isnt the best thing. But, keep in mind an 18 year old is also a grown woman. If you don't think so, then maybe when you were 18 you weren't. If I conceive anytime soon, I will be a 20 year old mother. My baby will have both of his or her parents. Will have their own room completely decorated and furnished. Most importantly will be loved and cared for. Also, might I add my baby would and will have everything they need and more without us making over 100,000. Sorry, if you chose to have a high mortgage but that does not mean that will bring a higher quality of life to your baby. I want a large family and would rather be a young mother than a 40 year old trying for her first when most of her life is done. Most of history, women had children young. Why? Because it was the way of life and that's when women are most fertile...so are bodies are ready for child-bearing! If your mind and relationship are ready too, regardless of age, then in my opinion it's perfectly fine to start a family young.

 

[Rachel789]

I agree if you have a steady job, a lot of money in the bank, and a stable relationship then age does not matter. I also agree that society has really changed things and we are actually meant to have children younger and not at the age of 30+. Unfortunately the world these days does not allow that for most people and that is just reality. But if you are young and want children at that point and can afford to give them what they need then why not do it!

 

[WantingABubba]

Hi hun I'm also a young ttcer and have been exactly where you are now... every symptom in the book and convinced I was preggo but nope... on cycle 8 now and still no bean
It is so hard not to symptom spot when every little thing going on with your body makes you think you MUST be preggo!
Try everything you can but don't be surprised if it doesn't happen right away hun. I know I was shocked when I didn't get my bfp 1st month but I really hope you get yours quickly!
Good luck and babydust hun xx

Hello, lovely to meet you and thank you for replying to me!

Sorry to hear about your struggle. I too underestimated how hard it is :/ seems all the wrong people are way too fertile, though ..

I am currently on 11dpo, and think I am pregnant. Got a this morning on a cheapie, though, but am going to test with FMU on a FRER tomorrow. Wish me luck! What CD are you on now?

Take care and thanks again! xx

 

[WantingABubba]

Im 18 and TTC too! Im excited to see theres someone else thats my age.

As am I! Good luck to you, hon

 

[WantingABubba]

wow.. You guys make me feel old 18years. The world is your stage, you have so much time. Make sure you get a good university education that will give you the privilege to work the hours you want and take care of your baby and yourself.

Relax ladies, you have so much time

I appreciate the concern, but I am far from naive. I am planning to get a good university education, as a midwife actually, but am working for now.

 

[WantingABubba]

You certainly have thought about TTC, but it concerns me that you don't want your family to know. Do you still live at home? Have you considered finance, living situations, and what may happen if your boyfriend gets overwhelmed?

I have to agree with BabyDoll123 about school. Currently, I'm WTT because I neither have the finance, nor do I have the educational potential, to be a RESPONSIBLE parent, right now. If I were to become pregnant right now, sure, I know my family would help me. But I can't mooch off my family forever - and really, it's not fair to my parents, to begin with.

Maybe you've got it planned, but I'm just saying. Having a baby is a BIG FUCKING DEAL.

Of course I have thought about it, in fact, I have been thinking about it pretty much my whole life.

I do not want my Mum to know yet as we don't have the best relationship at times and she can be very critical. So I don't regard this as her business. YES, I have considered the above, thank you very much. I know I am young, but that doesn't mean I don't have a functioning brain. If my boyfriend gets overwhelmed, I will have to be a single parent. That can happen to anyone, regardless of age.

Nor do I plan to 'mooch' off anyone.

I appreciate the concern, honestly, but less of a patronising tone would be nice because, yes, I am pretty aware that a baby is a 'BIG FUCKING DEAL'.

 

[kitcatbaby]

Hi hun I'm also a young ttcer and have been exactly where you are now... every symptom in the book and convinced I was preggo but nope... on cycle 8 now and still no bean
It is so hard not to symptom spot when every little thing going on with your body makes you think you MUST be preggo!
Try everything you can but don't be surprised if it doesn't happen right away hun. I know I was shocked when I didn't get my bfp 1st month but I really hope you get yours quickly!
Good luck and babydust hun xx

Hello, lovely to meet you and thank you for replying to me!

Sorry to hear about your struggle. I too underestimated how hard it is :/ seems all the wrong people are way too fertile, though ..

I am currently on 11dpo, and think I am pregnant. Got a this morning on a cheapie, though, but am going to test with FMU on a FRER tomorrow. Wish me luck! What CD are you on now?

Take care and thanks again! xx

I just got my af so I'm on cd2 onto cycle 9 ttc #1. I'm 23 with a university education and steady job, mortgage, car etc. All that's missing is my baba.
I really hope this is your month darling keep us posted on the frer results
Babydust xx

 

[WantingABubba]

I am 28 love. When i hear these kids saying there want a baby @ 18 i assume that there are really rich and have no form of responsibilities.

I think the crazy show 16 and pregnant on MTV is what is motivating these kids to have kids these young.

I just wish there all get a really good university education and get proper jobs to take care of themselves and baby incase the babydaddy runs off

I really hope you're not trying to refer to me, or anyone else on here, as a 'kid'? I know we're young by your standards, but it would be rather unfair to attack us because of that, wouldn't it now?

In regards to 16 & pregnant, I think it'd be rather silly to blame one show for teenage pregnancies. Teen pregnancy and the issues that may arise with it run far deeper than a show on MTV. My decision to TTC has nothing to do with that show, thanks.

In regards to the last comment, if it is indeed indirectly directed at me, I have a job, pretty well paid in fact, and will soon be doing full time there. I have plans to go to University, very soon. Not that that's particularly your business.

The bottom line is - me and my boyfriend have made this decision together. We are both employed, in jobs that pay more than minimum wage, we both have future goals, similar ideas of how to raise a child, love in our hearts and a warm bed to sleep in. People have raised children properly with less, and there are ways to raise a child cost effectively. I will go to University, regardless of whether I fall pregnant now or later. But thanks for the concern.

 

[kel3639]

I am 28 love. When i hear these kids saying there want a baby @ 18 i assume that there are really rich and have no form of responsibilities.

I think the crazy show 16 and pregnant on MTV is what is motivating these kids to have kids these young.

I just wish there all get a really good university education and get proper jobs to take care of themselves and baby incase the babydaddy runs off

I really hope you're not trying to refer to me, or anyone else on here, as a 'kid'? I know we're young by your standards, but it would be rather unfair to attack us because of that, wouldn't it now?

In regards to 16 & pregnant, I think it'd be rather silly to blame one show for teenage pregnancies. Teen pregnancy and the issues that may arise with it run far deeper than a show on MTV. My decision to TTC has nothing to do with that show, thanks.

In regards to the last comment, if it is indeed indirectly directed at me, I have a job, pretty well paid in fact, and will soon be doing full time there. I have plans to go to University, very soon. Not that that's particularly your business.

The bottom line is - me and my boyfriend have made this decision together. We are both employed, in jobs that pay more than minimum wage, we both have future goals, similar ideas of how to raise a child, love in our hearts and a warm bed to sleep in. People have raised children properly with less, and there are ways to raise a child cost effectively. I will go to University, regardless of whether I fall pregnant now or later. But thanks for the concern.

Well said! I hate it when people try to get on people's cases about things like that. It's their choice if they want to wait until their life is halfway over to have children.

 

[dontworry]

Hi WantingABubba! I'm Jess.
I'm currently TTC, but we're taking more of a NTNP approach at the moment. Just having lots of BDing and taking care of myself as best as I can. I'm 21, and I still get the "Oh you're so young" speech from just about everyone. A lot of people tell me that with great intentions - they are passing on advice that they think fits my life, but this advice is from strangers who don't know anything about me, besides my yearning for a child. I thought you were extremely mature in handling the criticism so far on here, but know there are lots of younger people here, too! I've been a member here for quite some time and have seen loads of people younger than you & I get pregnant intentionally and take care of their babies in a loving and responsible home.
I am also not telling my mother that I am trying to conceive because I am terrified of not being able to get pregnant. If she knows I am trying, she will be calling me up EVERY WEEK to ask if I'm pregnant or not, and I can't handle that stress. Making/having a baby is really important to me, and I don't want anything standing in the way.

Anywho - I wish you the best of luck making your lil' one, WantingABubba! Will this be your journal, for all intensive purposes? If so, I will be stalking!

 

[WantingABubba]

Hey ladies,

So today I am 14DPO, and it appears my period has come right on time

I have light cramps, and light brown spotting/discharge, so I guess it'll come full flow today or tomorrow.

I know there's a small chance of being pregnant still, or it could be implantation bleeding, but it's not stopping my eyes from filling with tears and feeling like I've lost a baby.

I am doubtful that I am pregnant now, unless I am very lucky. And now I'll have to endure a period, with it's yuckiness, cramps and the added hurt of knowing my body betrayed me. To make matters worse, I've spent so much money on tests, and had a weird FRER this morning with two lines, but one was white? So that made me ever so slightly hopeful.

Only my second month ttc, and first month really trying, but was so sure as we done everything as right as we could. Had sex on the right days, used OPKS, used concieve plus every time, legs up after sex etc. Not to mention the symptoms I've had. Why do our bodies trick us? Why can't we get pregnant when we want when all the wrong people in the world are so damned fertile

Well, this is my last month trying properly. It's been stressful on OH, and caused some arguments due to the pressure so going to have to adopt more of a NTNP approach next month.

Hope for me ladies, please. Hope for me that this is implantation bleeding, and not AF. I really want this

My nipples are so sore. If I'm not pregnant, that makes it worse as my nipples are never this sore. I don't get PMS.

Still, at least I know I seem to O on CD14, and AF comes on 14DPO. Means I'm pretty textbook, right?

Babydust to y'all.

 

[WantingABubba]

Well, like Rachel said, is all relative. What you and your DH makes will not cut it out for the quality of life I want for my child. If you are comfortable with what you have and are happy go for it.
Myself and DH both have university and graduate degrees and together make over $130,000 a year. We can dictate the jobs we want and when we want to work. In addition, we live in Canada where you get a whole year off for you and the baby (and paid).

I really wish you luck ladies and hope things do work out for you.

That is fair enough, but the way I see it, the life I want for my child is based more on their self esteem, self worth and the smaller details. I won't deny that money is important because, unfortunately, it IS. But I can, and will, breastfeed. I can cook nice vegetarian meals and blend the baby's dish when they start on solids. I can cloth diaper them. I will co-sleep, and will get a buggy but plan to babywear most of the time anyway. There are always ways, and money is not the be all and end all. The most important thing to me, aside from making sure we have a place to live, clothes on our backs, and food to eat, is making my children happy. And I can do that without money.

 

[WantingABubba]

Hello girls ! I am considered young as well. I just turned twenty and will be graduating with a degree in May. I have been with my boyfriend for over three years. We both work full-time in the fields we want to be. We have a nice apartment and two cars. It is really annoying to me, when people try to advise someone when to start a family or to wait to have one. Everyone is different. I'm sure we all know having a baby at 16 isnt the best thing. But, keep in mind an 18 year old is also a grown woman. If you don't think so, then maybe when you were 18 you weren't. If I conceive anytime soon, I will be a 20 year old mother. My baby will have both of his or her parents. Will have their own room completely decorated and furnished. Most importantly will be loved and cared for. Also, might I add my baby would and will have everything they need and more without us making over 100,000. Sorry, if you chose to have a high mortgage but that does not mean that will bring a higher quality of life to your baby. I want a large family and would rather be a young mother than a 40 year old trying for her first when most of her life is done. Most of history, women had children young. Why? Because it was the way of life and that's when women are most fertile...so are bodies are ready for child-bearing! If your mind and relationship are ready too, regardless of age, then in my opinion it's perfectly fine to start a family young.

LOVE this post! Well said!

 

[WantingABubba]

I agree if you have a steady job, a lot of money in the bank, and a stable relationship then age does not matter. I also agree that society has really changed things and we are actually meant to have children younger and not at the age of 30+. Unfortunately the world these days does not allow that for most people and that is just reality. But if you are young and want children at that point and can afford to give them what they need then why not do it!

I agree, but I don't think a lot of money saved is a necessity. It certainly helps, but it's not impossible to raise a child without a lot of money. My Mother had me when she was 18/19 and she went on to get a degree in teaching. A 2:1, I believe.

 

[WantingABubba]

Hi hun I'm also a young ttcer and have been exactly where you are now... every symptom in the book and convinced I was preggo but nope... on cycle 8 now and still no bean
It is so hard not to symptom spot when every little thing going on with your body makes you think you MUST be preggo!
Try everything you can but don't be surprised if it doesn't happen right away hun. I know I was shocked when I didn't get my bfp 1st month but I really hope you get yours quickly!
Good luck and babydust hun xx

Hello, lovely to meet you and thank you for replying to me!

Sorry to hear about your struggle. I too underestimated how hard it is :/ seems all the wrong people are way too fertile, though ..

I am currently on 11dpo, and think I am pregnant. Got a this morning on a cheapie, though, but am going to test with FMU on a FRER tomorrow. Wish me luck! What CD are you on now?

Take care and thanks again! xx

I just got my af so I'm on cd2 onto cycle 9 ttc #1. I'm 23 with a university education and steady job, mortgage, car etc. All that's missing is my baba.
I really hope this is your month darling keep us posted on the frer results
Babydust xx

I'm so sorry I am only on my second month ttc, and I am already disheartened so can't imagine your pain

I have also just got what I think it my period

 

[WantingABubba]

I am 28 love. When i hear these kids saying there want a baby @ 18 i assume that there are really rich and have no form of responsibilities.

I think the crazy show 16 and pregnant on MTV is what is motivating these kids to have kids these young.

I just wish there all get a really good university education and get proper jobs to take care of themselves and baby incase the babydaddy runs off

I really hope you're not trying to refer to me, or anyone else on here, as a 'kid'? I know we're young by your standards, but it would be rather unfair to attack us because of that, wouldn't it now?

In regards to 16 & pregnant, I think it'd be rather silly to blame one show for teenage pregnancies. Teen pregnancy and the issues that may arise with it run far deeper than a show on MTV. My decision to TTC has nothing to do with that show, thanks.

In regards to the last comment, if it is indeed indirectly directed at me, I have a job, pretty well paid in fact, and will soon be doing full time there. I have plans to go to University, very soon. Not that that's particularly your business.

The bottom line is - me and my boyfriend have made this decision together. We are both employed, in jobs that pay more than minimum wage, we both have future goals, similar ideas of how to raise a child, love in our hearts and a warm bed to sleep in. People have raised children properly with less, and there are ways to raise a child cost effectively. I will go to University, regardless of whether I fall pregnant now or later. But thanks for the concern.

Well said! I hate it when people try to get on people's cases about things like that. It's their choice if they want to wait until their life is halfway over to have children.

^Thank you! Really appreciate it.