I'm not ready to announce it...

[Jess29]

I'm almost 13 weeks pregnant and not at all ready to announce it. This pregnancy was a surprise, we found out in January and I'm embarrassed to say I was very depressed about it. I'm much better now, no longer depressed really and there are moments when I get really excited about it. But there are other moments when I just start crying over it too. I had an ultrasound on Tuesday and it helped to see the baby. But then last night I just broke down crying. I get so emotional sometimes. I was reading posts on here from women who miscarried and I felt so bad for them. I can only imagine how traumatic that would be. And yet I'm struggling to get excited for my own baby.

My husband and I already have four kids, all boys. I worry about how we're going to handle another one. I also had postpartum depression with all my kids and I'm not looking forward to that. I never sought help for it before, just tried to hide it. I'm going to get help this time so hopefully it won't be so bad.

I think I'll have to announce it in the next two or three weeks. I already have a baby bump and I know I can't hide it for too much longer. I feel bad for getting sad about it. I know I'll feel excited by the time the baby arrives but it's taking me time to get there. I'm sorry for the depressing post, I think I just needed to get it out.

 

[EmzyJA]

Oh hugs. It must be horrible feeling that way mine too came as a surprise and I was very shocked to begin with. But didn't take me too long to come around to the idea. I think doubts and fears are all normal, and obviously if you're worrying about how you'll cope and about postpartum depression it's bound to make you feel like that. Maybe telling people would help you get more excited about it all? Especially people who will be happy and supportive. But I'd say wait until you feel your ready or let them guess lol. Sorry to hear you've been so depressed with it all though

 

[dairymomma]

I was diagnosed with PPD last year and the dr figures I had it for almost 5 years before I was 'officially' diagnosed. But I've found when I opened up about how I really felt to my doctor and later a therapist, it helped SO much to even just admit I wasn't feeling right. I too am worried a little about how we are going to handle another child (3rd, ntnp but a surprise at the time) but DH has been wonderful. He says I can hire one of my nieces to come be a Mother's Helper for a few weeks after the birth. She'll come for a couple hours one or two days a week and help with household chores, watching the older kids, or just keeping everyone occupied so I can catch a nap. I'm hoping getting that little bit of time to just catch up will help keep me from relapsing with my PPD.

 

[bumpbear]

My youngest sister was also the fifth child and a HUGE surprise for my parents as she came 12 years after the nearest youngest! My dad was actually almost at retirement age at the time and mum wasn't a spring chicken either, so they were quite embarrassed. I remember my mum crying buckets for a few days after she had found out and my dad walked around in a state of shock. They were also not financially in a position to easily afford another. I remember they didn't tell a soul about the pregnancy and only sheepishly admitted they were having another when people guessed from the size of my mum's belly! To top it off, mum's pregnancy was also really stressful because an ultrasound had revealed possible medical problems with my sister (turned out to be nothing but we only found that out after she was born).

As the pregnancy progressed, mum and dad became more comfortable with the idea of another child, but they were still uncertain about how they'd manage, especially since they had been told there was a strong likelihood the baby would have special needs. With every kick, they grew happier.

From the moment she was born, my little sister has been the biggest blessing our family could have ever wished for. She brought new joy and happiness to the household. We all dote on her, and when we grew up and left home when she was just starting school, she was the one who kept us all together because we would all run home as often as we could to see her. Even though she is now 17 and about to move out to start University she is the centre of our family's world.

This baby will be a blessing for you too, I am sure of it.

 

[Jess29]

Thank you all for your responses. I was too depressed before to respond but I wanted to give an update. I'm feeling much better about the pregnancy. Everyone knows now and it did make me feel better once it was out and everyone knew. I've been feeling the baby kick a lot the past few weeks and that has made me super happy and excited about the baby.

 

[bumpbear]

i'm glad you're feeling happier about it! even though it will be hard at times, its going to be wonderful and you'll wonder how you ever did without the baby at all. x

 

[izzlesnizzle]

My youngest sister was also the fifth child and a HUGE surprise for my parents as she came 12 years after the nearest youngest! My dad was actually almost at retirement age at the time and mum wasn't a spring chicken either, so they were quite embarrassed. I remember my mum crying buckets for a few days after she had found out and my dad walked around in a state of shock. They were also not financially in a position to easily afford another. I remember they didn't tell a soul about the pregnancy and only sheepishly admitted they were having another when people guessed from the size of my mum's belly! To top it off, mum's pregnancy was also really stressful because an ultrasound had revealed possible medical problems with my sister (turned out to be nothing but we only found that out after she was born).

As the pregnancy progressed, mum and dad became more comfortable with the idea of another child, but they were still uncertain about how they'd manage, especially since they had been told there was a strong likelihood the baby would have special needs. With every kick, they grew happier.

From the moment she was born, my little sister has been the biggest blessing our family could have ever wished for. She brought new joy and happiness to the household. We all dote on her, and when we grew up and left home when she was just starting school, she was the one who kept us all together because we would all run home as often as we could to see her. Even though she is now 17 and about to move out to start University she is the centre of our family's world.

This baby will be a blessing for you too, I am sure of it.

That is so cute, what a lovely story!

Im sure once the baby is here you wont be able to imagine your life without him or her. My sisters youngest was a surprise. They didn't want any more and were using condoms whilst he waited for a vasectomy and somehow they managed to conceive. My sister had no idea she was pregnant but her DH noticed she was behaving differently and asked her if she was pregnant. So they did a test not really thinking it would be positive as they had been using precautions and it was positive. They both sat there, mouths hanging open saying what the hell are we going to do??? Hes a lovely 7 yr old now and really helped to settle the household as her older two didn't get on very well and he gave a distraction to them and generally brought everything together for the better. Hes a lovely, cuddly little sweet heart and I cant imagine him not being in our family.

 

[MamaLa]

I know how you feel. My period was late in February so I took a hpt and didn't come in March so I took another hpt and I remember getting in bed and showing my boyfriend. He was kind of nonchalant about it but told me he was excited. I remember us getting frisky after that and I started crying during it.

I was just in pure shock. Thinking what am I going to do. My favorite coworker is pregnant and about to go on leave next week. I'm afraid to tell my boss and my coworkers because I cant imagine their reactions. I don't want them to think I got pregnant because my coworker did, like I am trying to be a copy cat. Totally not the case this pregnancy is a BIG SURPRISE. I wonder if they are going to be as supportive of me as they are to her (i.e. buying her a cake because shes sad. lol).

Being around my boyfriends family helped me cope a lot they are so happy about the pregnancy and always checking on me. Joined here and now I'm more excited than ever. Just feels good to have an outlet

 

[skyesmom]

hon, a post-partum depression is not a joke and i think looking for help this time around also before having the baby is a good thing to do. hiding any depression and putting up a fake smile can only make it worse. if i were you, i'd look for help immediately, it may also help you accept this pregnancy and find more joy in it.
and trust yourself: you've already raised 4 boys and you already know you can do it, got a quadruple proof that you're a trooper