In debt up to our eyeballs :'''o(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by winbig82, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. winbig82

    winbig82 Well-Known Member

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    I honestly dont know what to do anymore - We owe thousands in rent, council tax, water and then credit card debts, loans etc - Ive just had to ring the car insurance people coz my OH said we had no claims when we dont and now they want an extra £15 a month to which my OH said "Im not paying that, f**k them, ill just cancel" which means a cancellation fee and then another huge deposit to get insurance on our car!! I told him I dont give a shit about the car, having a roof over our heads is far more important but he wouldnt listen... Ive just ended the conversation with "fine, lets lose the flat and live in the f**king car then" as the way we are going thats gonna be our only option!! He seems to think that we wont get kicked out, I have no idea what world hes living in at times - He just expects everything to go his way!! I cant take much more, I dont want to live like this anymore, I never missed a payment on my rent before I got with him, now it just seems everything else is more important - All I care about is having a roof over me and my babys head :'''''o( x
     
  2. Belle25

    Belle25 Guest

    :hugs:
    Sounds your under quite a bit of pressure.

    Have you thought of going to the Citizens Advice Bureau for advice on the debts?
    They might be able to help you work it out.

    xx
     
  3. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Sweetheart. :hugs:

    First off, take a deep breath. This is what is called 'the lightning moment' in debt-free wannabe circles. You need to try to use the energy constructively, and make a list of all that you owe, work out your monthly incomings and outgoings and see what you can afford to repay. Your rent and Ctax are the most important thing, as you say the house is the main thing to keep. Are there any benefits that you can apply for like housing benefit if you're struggling?

    Once you know what you owe and where, and what you can afford, you can tackle it. While it's unknown it can seem bigger than it really is. :hugs: I know as I've been there. If you need help please PM me, or try moneysavingexpert.com forum for more advice and help. They are fabulous.

    Try not to let it stress you out. I know it's easier said than done, but the biggest step is to say 'enough is enough'. once you have everything compiled, you can sit your OH down, and show him exactly how bad things are, and what needs to be done first to make sure you're secure.

    Last bit of advice, be honest. If you can't afford to repay something straight away, offer a schedule or a small, regular payment to show that you're willing. I hope things get better for you soon xx
     
  4. sam1984

    sam1984 Well-Known Member

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    it sounds like you could do with making an appointment with citizens advice.
    take with you all you recent statement.
    my mum and dad got into real trouble last year and they spoke to eeryone they owed money to and worked out a payment plan they could afford.

    good luck and sending :hugs:
     
  5. emma.c89

    emma.c89 Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel. I'm getting this with OH at the moment I have debts of about 5 grand, he has his debts too but doesnt give a shit about them he's just ignored all the letter for a court fine and we've just had the last letter saying pay up or bailiffs are coming round!! I have to find about £800 for the payday loans we took out to put a deposit down on the house in 2 weeks but I just cant magic it from my arse!! I paid my half of the rent until he moved in also, now my mum is fed up of keeping us and it's made things awkward my mums in debt too.

    I think you should sit down with him and budget make him see the figures in black and white!! or can u get help from someone to work out your finances together?? at the moment we're living off my OH's wage he spends it like we have the money but I'm so mad that I had to get the money out in my name with ridiculous interest rates and he doesnt give a shit if they get paid or not... I like having the payday loan people on my side as it's handy if I ever get stuck!! I've never not paid them back and theyre the only people that borrow me money based on my repayments to them not credit score! I hope you get it sorted & have more luck than me!! x
     
  6. aymz1983

    aymz1983 Well-Known Member

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    Oh dear hun :( I know ehat its like being in debt, we've nearly lost our home its only because I had some money coming to me at some point that my parents paid our arrears if. Was scary as still had to go to court :s
    Even now, because I have to make sure the rent is paid (since oh started work our housing enefit gone completely) its a very big struggle week to week. I'm at home today, would be anyway as ds isn't well but I had to keep dd home too as I can't physically afford to get them to school today.
    Althoigh things are a struggle though, have found loads of invaluable advice and information on the martin lewis site www.moneysavingexpert.com. Loads of tips to save money plus on the forums there's boards for debt free wannabees and readimg through those has helped and inspired us lots.
    Could also be worth checking out the cab/local law centre although our law centre solicitors advice was a bit pants-he even said at one point I knew more than him! Only because I try ro read up on things myself so I can underdtand it.
    Debt is a horrible thing to be in but your main irgent priorities should be to deal with rent/mortgage arrears and your council tax. Last thing you need is to lose your home or face going to prison.
    But definately worth checkinh out those forums...its surprising how many people are in the same boat.
    You will get through it though x
     
  7. aymz1983

    aymz1983 Well-Known Member

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    Apologies for spelling I'm on my phone!
     
  8. helent1983

    helent1983 Well-Known Member

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    I too would recommend Martin Lewis' site of moneysavingexpert!! I was in your situation when I was pregnant with my first baby and did end up going bankrupt! It was a really hard time for us but we are all sorted now and life is good.

    Not saying you will have to go bankrupt but there is help out there. Please get some help to work out the best way forward for you!!

    xx
     
  9. lolly1709

    lolly1709 Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    So sorry you have all this added stress!
    If you are in the UK there is an organisation called CAP (Christians against poverty) https://www.capuk.org/home/index.php (it doesnt matter if you are Christian or any or no religion, so please dont let this put you off) they do free debt advice.

    My sister (single parent) has about 3grands worth of debt and they have contacted everyone for her and sorted it all out, she is so relieved - they have been really really good and have been recommended by that Martin money saver bloke! They dont charge for their service either unlike similar organisations. Its gotto be worth a phonecall?

    Also if you are struggling for money and need a loan try and use your local credit union if your area has one these are low interest local loans that are usually subsided by your loacal authority. They also help people who have little or no credit rating. Again my sister has used these and they have been really good.

    Hope that helps, good luck x
     
  10. sarahdilan

    sarahdilan Well-Known Member

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    We are in a similar situation and currently seeking help from citizen advice. Our best option is a debt relief order. Only problem now is finding the £90 fee to get the whole thing in motion.
     
  11. Shortcake01

    Shortcake01 Well-Known Member

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    I work for the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS) and they offer a free service whether it just be advice on your situation, to offer you a debt management plan or to advise on another solution. They are not there to judge and provide an aftercare service as well as all the initial advice. If you have credit card debts they are also recommended by a lot of the high street banks which can help in getting reduced payment offers accepted.

    sarahdilan have they told you that the £90 can be paid in 6 monthly instalments of £15? The only downside to that is that the debt relief order won't go through until the full £90 has been paid.

    We do recommend money saving expert website as very useful for information so certainly can't hurt to have a look xxx
     
  12. Amy31

    Amy31 Well-Known Member

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  13. Loobyloo30

    Loobyloo30 Mummy to one

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    Awwww hun, dont worry! Im a debt adviser/collector (for my sins) so know all the ins, outs and loop holes lol.
    First of all DONT ignore the debts......... they wont go away :-( What you need to do is ring each creditor/company (make sure you do the rent and utilities first) Explain you cant afford much but your willing to pay via installments and make an offer you know you can stick to. They wont and cant refuse the offer........ unless its something daft like £1 a month. Also alot of companies have charities such as Anglian Water - they have a pot of money you can apply for which clears the debt for you so always ask if theres anything like this in place? (they wont mention it unless you do)

    Dont use one of those debt consolidation companies - they con you and half the time dont even send you installment payments into your creditors. You could get an appt with CAB but personally theyre pretty useless too!! As long as you show willing and make installment offers (low ones as your heavily in debt) then they cant do anything and you'll have less to worry about. Hope this helps x x
     
  14. ProudMum

    ProudMum Well-Known Member

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    dont go to CAB. They did nothing for me... PM me.. I owed £50 grand and I have sorted out all my major debts now.
     
  15. amielh

    amielh Mummy to baby boy..

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    Ok I would speak to Citizens advice bureau. They wont charge and will talk through and sort everything for you. I am talking from experience as I have been in exactly the same situation although I was living at home but owed thousands for loans etc I also mean big change.. After several appointments we worked out what I earnt, what I paid out and what I could afford. They then contacted my lenders with a proposal for a revised monthly payment. They accepted and I ended up paying the revised amount.

    Lenders by law have to accept a letter from the CAB.. Personally im always weiry of other "we will clear your debt" companies

    You cant afford to leave it as your credit will get shot to pieces..
     
  16. StarBound

    StarBound Well-Known Member

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    My advice; do exactly what I did :)

    start by realizing there's a problem. Work out income for the month & then unavoidable outgoings (I.e food, rent , CT , electricity blah blah) then see if there's anything left . If there isn't then contact housing benefit & CT benefit. This will help you of you aren't earning enough to cover everything.
    Then make sure you've spoken to your landlord/ association & explain you have applied for housing benefit & will sort rent payment asap. Same for local council for council tax. This makes them aware of what's happening (whilst they are aware your trying to get help they cannot impliment any debt collection or eviction).
    Next step see what benefits you can get if any, if you can't get any then you need to do some money management ( we weren't eligible for anything)
    next I rang round all our debts ( court fine of £600, vets bills totalling around £700, catalogues totalling about £2,500, phone bill of £272 , etc)
    and explaining we could not afford even minimum payments & we would pay them what we could afford each month even if it's only £5 .
    All of the companies HAVE to accept any payment plan offer unless your earning more than you have stated.
    We have since cleared the phone bill, court fine, almost £350 off catalogues & almost completed one of the vet bills.
    We are working hard on paying everything off and have set a date for everything to be finished with & we can start saving for the wedding . :)
    We hope to be debt free by end of march next year. Our anniversary 26th march :)
    it takes alot of work - oh another thing that helps was selling anything that was taking up too much money or abit of eBay selling ( I got £200 from selling stuff we didn't need within 1 month).
    My partner sold his car & brought a cheap motorbike. I sold 2 of my 3 horses & the other is out on loan until October next year .
    We also gave away one of our dogs (to a family member). All this helped.
     
  17. Shortcake01

    Shortcake01 Well-Known Member

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    Just to add, the companies don't have to accept a payment arrangement, they can't refuse to deduct a payment from the balance but they don't have to accept an offer that is less than the contractual payment so just be aware of that. I agree with what the others have said, don't go to a fee charging debt management company as they take a percentage of what you pay them every month. The main thing is regardless of who you seek advice from the best way to go forward is to work out a budget and stick to it. xxx
     
  18. ProudMum

    ProudMum Well-Known Member

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    I pmed you.. if someone who owed 50,000 can sort the debt out.. im certain my advice will help you. xx
     
  19. xxsteffyxx

    xxsteffyxx Single Momma

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    I sent you a PM hun, I feel your pain... xxx
     
  20. flippityflop

    flippityflop Well-Known Member

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    I was in debt of £30K two years ago, now its gone down to completely manageable levels. Listen to everyone on here and don't bury your head in the sand like me!

    This is a really good starting point: https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

    Fill in your income and ALL your outgoings (don't guess, go and get your recent bills and fill in the amounts - if its an annual figure divide it by 12). This will give you a clearer picture of where you are financially.

    Once you've done that, look at what you can cut out. Sky TV? Nights out? Do you really need a car? But you must make sure that you put in money for things you don't think you need - like medical and clothing (you WILL need news clothes and your LO certainly will!). Once you've cut what you can, made sure you've included everything, you then have a clearer idea of what you have left over to offer creditors.

    That's just a starting point. Keep your chin up xx
     

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