In Tears For Last Hour :(

[Younglutonmum]

Had to post on here as have been in tears for last hour or so

Some of you will know that the other day I finally recieved contact from my ex's mum asking what to buy for LO.

Now 2nite I open my email 2 find his older sister has emailed asking what she can get for LO aswell

Im now feeling sooo shitty & awful because I just don't wamt them involved with LO. Ive got my reasons which I can't be bothered to go through again & I truely believ im doing the right thing by Anais. It's just im not a horrible person & I can't deal with this

Ive sent my ex a text 2nite saying we really need to meet up asap & discuss his options & his families involvement. Im in Luton 4 next few days so it's a ideal time for us. He hasn't bothered to reply as I thought. It's just really upsetting me tonight

 

[sam's mum]

Just wanted to send you some

They've waited this long to get in touch, so just ignore them asking what they can get for a couple of days while you have a think about it. If they're offering to pay for stuff you may as well make the most of it, but I'd make it clear that you've had to do it all on your own so far x

 

[Younglutonmum]

It's just really hard! My logical, hard done by single mum side is telling me to really lay it into them how they honestly have made my pregnancy hell. But I just can't do it as much as I want to

I want to talk to my ex so bad because perhaps then I can make some real decisions but him being the knob he is, hasnt bothered getting back to me

 

[leeanne]

Do you know what I think now?

The mother contacted you and you declined her help for reasons that you said and I believe to be true.

Now the sister is contacting you.

Perhaps they have thought long and hard about their actions and are trying to make amends, with or without your ex-boyfriend. Perhaps they want to be involved, with or without your ex-boyfriend.

What I would do now? Meet with the mom and sister and have a serious talk with them and see where their mindset is. Tell them how you feel. Then see where it goes from there.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Do you know what I think now?

The mother contacted you and you declined her help for reasons that you said and I believe to be true.

Now the sister is contacting you.

Perhaps they have thought long and hard about their actions and are trying to make amends, with or without your ex-boyfriend. Perhaps they want to be involved, with or without your ex-boyfriend.

What I would do now? Meet with the mom and sister and have a serious talk with them and see where their mindset is. Tell them how you feel. Then see where it goes from there.

I thought about asking to meet with them to be honest. I know this is going to sound silly but i'm just terrified to do so. Im literally scared of his mum. When I fell preg she really let rip. Told me how she always disliked me. So now I just feel so uncomfortable around her

 

[leeanne]

I understand as I am not good in conflict situations either to be very honest. But they are making an effort and if they are offering then they must want to make amends. At that point, I would seriously consider hearing what they want to say.

It's must be tough and they hurt you, I totally understand. But they are his family and are blood and often they take the side of their own blood. As a mother, you will one day understand.

If the talk doesn't go well, then screw them. But give them a chance first.

 

[Younglutonmum]

I understand as I am not good in conflict situations either to be very honest. But they are making an effort and if they are offering then they must want to make amends. At that point, I would seriously consider hearing what they want to say.

It's must be tough and they hurt you, I totally understand. But they are his family and are blood and often they take the side of their own blood. As a mother, you will one day understand.

If the talk doesn't go well, then screw them. But give them a chance first.

I really don't know where my head is today. Haven't felt this low in a good while.

What hurts aswell is the fact that they have both said to me im not to tell me ex they've made contact with me. Im not having my daughter bought up as a secret if that makes sense?

Im just so so scared now

 

[leeanne]

Have a think about it overnight hon. Like I said, I do so understand where you are coming from and how hurt you are feeling.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Maybe im just over tired or something.

I'll have a sleep on it & see how I feel tomorrow

 

[leeanne]

Try and get a good night's sleep honey!

 

[brownhairedmom]

Maybe you should talk to them. Just once. If you don't like what they have to say, don't talk to them again. But this is your chance to let them know how you feel about how they treated you.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Maybe you should talk to them. Just once. If you don't like what they have to say, don't talk to them again. But this is your chance to let them know how you feel about how they treated you.

Yeh I probably will ask to talk with them

Just terrified really. Over & over in my head ive played what im going to say. How im going to be strong & not let them make me feel shitty but I knw it wont happen. I'll act like some pathetic little girl who hasn't a clue

 

[leeanne]

Yeh I probably will ask to talk with them

Just terrified really. Over & over in my head ive played what im going to say. How im going to be strong & not let them make me feel shitty but I knw it wont happen. I'll act like some pathetic little girl who hasn't a clue

Honey, why don't you bring your father along for support? You might feel stronger if someone were there.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Honey, why don't you bring your father along for support? You might feel stronger if someone were there.

I considered that but I feel this is something I want to do on my own. I want them to see i'm not the same weak girl who cried her eyes out announcing her pregnancy.

Im actually feeling alot better. I just emailed his sister back saying I truely appreciate the fact that both her & her mum have made a step towards us. That obviously there's still alot of unresolved issues and i'd like the 3 of us to get together & chat. Not argue or put blame on one another. Just look towards the future now.

Also emailed my ex saying similar. That me & him need to discuss his options so to speak with out arguing, tantrums etc. I said im giving him this chance to prove himself

Hopefully get some positive feedback tomorrow!!

 

[leeanne]

I hope that you get positive feedback soon!

If you at least give them a chance, they may entirely surprise you and have done a turnaround. Afterall, this child is their blood too. If they haven't changed, at least you can move forward knowing that you can in fact say that you tried for the sake of your baby but that they didn't try.

If they have done a turnaround, that is fantastic for your baby knowing that he will know the other side of the family.

 

[polo_princess]

awww hun i hope your feeling a bit better today

 

[Elli21]

Im glad ur feeling better about the situation today and i hope something positive comes out of you 3 getting together for a chat xx

 

[Younglutonmum]

Hey

Well got an email from my ex's sister saying as far as she's concerned there is no need for us to meet up before the baby arrives. There's nothing to say. I texted his mum this morning asking if we could have a chat & she called me. She said the same as the sister. She doesn't see why we need to meet up & chat. I said to her that we need to make plans in regard to their access etc. His mum sais that's stupid as they've decided what they want to do. They basicly want to come up the weekend after bubs is born & bring her back down to Luton for the weekend to stay with them. They said this will happen every weekend. As far as they are concerned there's no need for me to be involved.

I said to to his mum how I felt about the way ive been treated - she said I deserve it.

Sorry but they won't be seeing this baby, i've tried to be civil. Wanting to chat & hear them out but they are having none of it.

My ex didnt bother to get back to me either!

Grrrrr

 

[~ Vicky ~]

OMG.

Firstly, no matter how much she wants to see little Anais when she's born, you cannot separate mother and child so soon after birth. What is she on??

She can't dictate what you do.. she has no right, especially since her son can't be bothered to be involved in his daughters life. It seems to me she likes the idea of having a grandaughter but more so as a fashion accessory. That's how it comes across to me.

I don't blame you for wanting to keep your LO away. You've stuck your neck out to be amicable but its been thrown back in your face. Stuff em.

 

[Younglutonmum]

OMG.

Firstly, no matter how much she wants to see little Anais when she's born, you cannot separate mother and child so soon after birth. What is she on??

She can't dictate what you do.. she has no right, especially since her son can't be bothered to be involved in his daughters life. It seems to me she likes the idea of having a grandaughter but more so as a fashion accessory. That's how it comes across to me.

I don't blame you for wanting to keep your LO away. You've stuck your neck out to be amicable but its been thrown back in your face. Stuff em.

My thoughts exactly hun!! I even said to her what if I had her on the Wednesday?? She said aslong as bubs is fine & healthy there's no reason they can't pick her up on the Friday!! WTF!! There is no way i'm letting my daughter go anywhere without me so soon!!

I've really really tried with them but that's it now!!

Bloody people