Induction pressure

[becstar]

By my LMP my due date was 2nd Feb. I ovulated according to my OV tests (I wasn't temping) on day 16 of my cycle, May 12th, and we only dtd once in the week or so, 3 days before I oved.

At my dating scan the sonographer took the same CRL measurement again and again and again, at least 7 times, and went with the biggest. She moved my due date forward to Jan 27th - by 6 days.

As a result I am supposed to be induced tomorrow. I am not going to be, I have refused. SO tomorrow I have to go in to discuss this and to begin daily monitoring.



I feel so confused though. I KNOW I cannot be as far gone as they say but all the constant pressure is making me doubt myself. I would never, ever forgive myself it something happened to the baby because of me making a bad decision... I also know that this baby isn't ready to be born yet.



And a huge part of it is that I really cannot bear the thought of being iduced again. I hated it so much last time, for so many reasons. I don't want to be away from La to be induced. I don't want to be stuck in the bloody hospital (where they keep getting norovirus lately). I don't want to be limited to two birth partners when I had my heart set on my mum, my sister and my husband.


Because I have been going by my dates in my head and trying not to think about deadlines etc, I hadn't realised that this 40+12 (tomorrow) was so close and I was shocked when the midwife said it today. I refused a sweep because I had so many last time (and one last week) that did feck all and I don't want the pain for nothing.

I just felt totally crushed all day... I couldn't stop crying this morning as I feel it is me against the whole medical world, all because this woman put my dates forward so much. To be as pregnant as they say I would have had to ovulate on day 10-11 and while it isn't impossible, it's not likely either. And also we didn't dtd until day 13 so how would the egg still be around to be fertilised?



My head is a mess. I just needed to get it out. It is easy earlier in pregnancy to say 'yeah, I will be strong and stick by my dates' etc but if I hear the words 'ageing placenta' again I might cry, and all the medical people are just telling me over and over that I am putting the baby at risk.

That is the last thing I would ever want to do... I feel so alone and scared.
_________________

 

[Mervs Mum]

Bec are you a member on the Facebook group? It's really busy and there are lots of people on there that don't come on here who have been in your position.

 

[Sam Pearson]

Induction before a baby is ready can have some serious negative effects.

The EDD is just that, an expected due date not the actual date your baby is ready to be born - nobody knows that. Actually, nobody has yet to work out exactly what triggers labour - with all the heights medicine has reached that is still a mystery - and they believe that the baby has more to do with it than first expected.

Not only is the EDD just a guesstimate it's based on averages and every individual woman and every individual pregnancy is unique. If you have a longer menstrual cycle you can expect to gestate longer. If the other women you are related to (Mum, Aunts, grandmothers etc.) gestate longer than average you can expect to as well.

Many Mums go 10 months or more and a normal pregnancy lasts for 38 - 42 weeks so no woman is overdue until she has reached 42 weeks anyway.

If you are healthy and baby is doing fine there is no reason to induce.

If your care providers are suggesting you have any medical intervention they should provide you with a medical reason for that intervention.

This thread has a link to the history of EDD https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/863643-history-estimated-due-date.html

 

[Leahmasie]

I'm so sorry you're going through this becstar! I know it's hard, but you are right about your dates, not them.

And just for perspective, I waited until 42w6d LMP to start induction. I think I was 42w3-4d by conception, but obviously not sure. My son was perfectly healthy, and the induction was horrible. It was too hard for me to wait longer than that though. He didn't drop until 41w4d LMP so I think he would've needed a few more days to come on his own. But I wasn't confident enough to wait. My mom had me 3 weeks "late", so I think it's genetic.

Good luck!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Here's the Ten Month Mamas support group too.

https://www.facebook.com/TenMonthMamas

I've had clients decline induction and go with daily monitoring. My last one went in to labour at 42+1. You're so close. You could try some reflexology etc if you wanted to help things a litte. It can have good results at this stage. If your instinct is the away isn't ready yet, you're probably right

 

[becstar]

Thanks ladies... I will check it out, Mervs Mum. I am going to take La to the farm this afternoon and go on the bumpy slide at soft play I think, try to get things going!

Thank you ladies, so much. It really does help to have your support.

Well, I went to the hospital this morning. At the desk I said I was there for monitoring to the midwife there and the conversation went like this:

Miserable Cow midwife: Why do you need monitoring?
Me: Because I am booked for induction today but I have refused it.
MCM (loudly in front of everyone): WHY have you refused induction?
ME: Because I am very sure of my dates and I don't feel it is necessary yet.
MCM (Sighs deeply, looks at my scan info in my notes): These scans at 13 weeks are incredibly accurate you know.
Me: With respect, not as accurate as my knowledge of my sex life and my body.
MCM: But sperm can live a long time in the body and you don't know when you ovulated.
Me: Yes I do, I was charting.
MCM (deep sigh again): Well... you still don't know exactly...
Me: I am not here to argue, I am here for monitoring.
MCM: I am not arguing, I just want you to know all the facts.
Me: Thank you, I am aware of them.
MCM: Go and do a urine sample and come back here.





Anyway, a lovely midwife came along who is a return to practice midwife (she qualified ages ago and is returning to the profession so doing work experience at the hospital, kind of) and she did the trace, and she was lovely. She talked quietly but said she agreed with me, I was doing the best for my baby to give it the chance to come naturally and everyone is scared of litigation. She listened to me and was really lovely.

Halfway through, MCM came along and yanked my curtains back and said grumpily 'I don't like my curtains being closed, I like to be able to see all my ladies and check on them' in a really grumpy voice. I just shrugged and said with a smile 'well I didn't close them!' Silly cow.

The trace was good, baby is moving and the heartbeat was strong and fine. I wasn't examined internally or offered a sweep.

Another mum was there who has been coming in regularly as she has potential PE and she said this midwife is a miserable cow all the time! At least it isn't just me.


Anyway, the upshot is that I have to go back tomorrow morning for another trace and then, since I am going against hospital policy, I have to meet with a consultant. Nice midwife said this could be a good thing because they can look at my dates etc and I might be able to convince them of my original due date. Either way I am going to take a list of my dates with me, pertinent parts of the NICE guidelines, and a list of questions for them.

I have to go alone as I don't want husband wasting any more leave coming along (he isn't entitled to SPP as he only started his job in January) so I am going to have to channel my big feisty sister and stick up for myself.

 

[ZoeZo]

I am totally on your side! However accurate these scans are, they aren't an exact science, all women and babies are different - if you didn't even DTD until CD13 I can't see how they can put you further along, no matter how long sperm can survive they can't go back in time!

Can't be easy when medical staff are 'against' you, I believe firmly in mother nature.

Have you seen these natural induction methods?

https://www.natural-pregnancy-mentor.com/natural-labor-induction.html

MCM sounds like a right hilter!

Keep us updated x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Overall (apart from misery guts) that sounds like a pretty positive appointment stay strong x

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Huge hugs! I totally understand your pain. I had an induction with my first & went on to be 'overdue' by the ever so reliable scan dates in my other pregnacies too
I too know when I ov'd/DTD so know just how unreliable their scan dates can be.

Just wanted to say, I know you've had one sweep that didn't work. I had a couple with my first & they never worked so I know how deflating it can be (and painful). But given that you're now a week further along & this is your second baby a sweep may well work now. I had one with my third when I was 3 days over by my dates (7 days by scan) & it worked!!

Only suggesting this as I understand how you must be feeling right now and wanted to give a positive outcome of a sweep.

Hope LO makes an appearance very, very soon.

 

[spacegirl]

Why do they bully us into induction!?


2 weeks before my due date I had some registar (posh, patronising girl fresh from uni) telling me she was booking my induction date in case. I told her, 'well you haven't asked if I want one!'.

'What do you mean?? you have to have one if you go over! what do you expect us to do??'

'err I expect you to monitor me!'

'We don't do that here!'

'Well I'm not having an induction'.

'Let me speak to the consultant'

She came back and basically told me they would 'allow' me a week to think it over as I might not need one anyway! Cheeky bint! thanks it's my body and baby. In the end I was lucky he arrived on my due date.

Do you research on risk and trust your instincts. I hope your baby arrives swiftly!!


Cxxx

 

[ljo1984]

urgh what a cow that mw was, im sure you will be spot on with your dates, you were charting and you know what was going on. i hope the appointment went well. xx

 

[becstar]

I was seen by the SHO who was lovely and seemed to listen to me. I had decided with husband to reconsider induction from Monday when I would be 12 days past my due date rather than the one the hospital was going by (my scan put me 6 days ahead).

Anyway, she got the consultant in to do a sweep... Who said that they shouldn't have changed my due date as it was different by less than a week. She said I didn't need to be there, didn't need monitoring and that baby and I are healthy. She booked me for induction for the 15th when I will be term plus 13.

At the moment I might go ahead on the weds, and I might not. I am trying to decide with my husband, who is very concerned about going 'too far'.

It feels like a relief, anyway, to be listened to.