Initials

[DobbyForever]

I've been pondering baby names for a bit. Ex has no desire to input because he somehow thinks if he doesn't say it then it's not happening, but he is quick to tell me when a name is stupid. My must haves:
1) first name starts with A (ex's family tradition)
2) last name is ex's and starts with T (my stepdad/lawyer insist and tbh I'm not in love with my last name)
3) I want to honor my dad (Darwin)

Girl easy peasy
Arwin (still arguing with my mom about a Thai middle name lol)

Boy not easy I hate all the A names
Ayden Darwin

The problem with the boy name is that we have a very large security company with initials ADT and that annoys me/I can see elementary kids with their adt promo water bottles or driving around town making jokes about it. But Andrew and Alex are out. My stepdad is very big on it being classic and I agree. But to get what I want I'm stuck ADT JGxdxtkxykcc

Help lol

 

[Symphony7]

I don't know, I never took the initials that seriously. I guess I never experienced or noticed teasing because of initials as much as others perceive or experienced.

 

[Mum2BKW]

I don't think ADT is bad at all, it's not as though it spells anything?

But if it worries you, why not have 2 middle names?

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooo interesting idea two middle names...

I'm glad I'm overreacting (seems to be a theme this week lol)

 

[BB1982]

My favourite girls name would mean her initals would be IRA! But I'm not wortied! having the names you love is more important. X

 

[Weebles]

I consider initials but only the first and last unless they spell something. (My last name starts with O so unfortunately any first name starting with B is out.). I think ADT is just fine. Most of the time when you see the initials it would just be AT or A.D. Lastname or Firstname D. Lastname. The only time I ever see all three initials is when someone has something monogrammed but then the font is so fancy I don't think anyone would really notice anyway. It's a lot of responsibility to name a baby but that makes it easy to go overboard with trivial little things that aren't really a concern.

 

[Emilylove13]

We have that security company here, I don't personally think it would be a big deal. Besides, kids are mean and are always got to come up with something to tease others about honestly.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

I've thought about initials too. My daughter's initials will be ELM (and then my last initial, G). And my 2nd daughter will be IAM. Oh my God, and I just realized... if hell froze over and my baby daddy every decided to marry me, his last name starts with an S. I'd have ELMS and IAMS <-- like the pet food company. Crap. lol

 

[SonnyH]

We are going either AA or AAA! Partners surname begins with A and we are fairly set on naming baby Annabel. I've always wanted to honour my Grandma so if we decide to have a middle name (kinda in two minds about it), we are going with Audrey! I wouldn't worry too much about initials, at school, it'll only be the teachers that see all 3 names written down, his/her peers won't if they just go by their first name and not double barrelled. Heck, I have a friend called Thomas Cook (a big holiday company in the UK) and two of my clients at work are Johnny Depp & Harry Potter! There are much more obviously unfortunate names!

 

[xdxxtx]

My mom's initials are PMS. lollll... If the initials don't spell out something awful like that, I'd go for it.

 

[DobbyForever]

Aww ty ladies! Now my parents hate Ayden ughcictcyotcot I can't catch a break naming my baby lol

 

[kirstybumx3]

Aww ty ladies! Now my parents hate Ayden ughcictcyotcot I can't catch a break naming my baby lol

It is not your parents baby. Let them hate it x

 

[misspriss]

My initials prior to marriage were ADA. American Dental Association, Americans with Disabilities Act, etc. I used to joke every tube of toothpaste was meant for me .

Now I traded up ADW, assault with a deadly weapon lol!

Both my kids initals are SAW, obviously spells a word.

 

[misspriss]

I do not know the whole story, but if Ex does not even want to be together why let him dictate both the last name AND the start of the first name? I understand the last name part, but unless you are planning to get back together promptly why name the babe in his family tradition? Ot make the middle name his family "tradition" name, to remember it but not have to think of it every time you say your child's name.

We just made family names middle names, our children got their unique first names.

 

[2much]

Lol, ADT isn't bad at all, Dobby. I think like someone else said, kids always find SOMETHING to tease each other about, and honestly that one isn't that hurtful!

My last name starts with an S... and my favorite girl first name/middle name combo would be ASS. So, yeah, it could be worse? I am back to the drawing board on girl middle names, I think.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol at the not their baby. I should clarify that it's just my stepdad (he worries unique names lead to kids being made fun of and my kid already has a target as a single parent). My mom instantaneously jumps into momma bear stfu it's not your baby mode.

As for why keep his family traditions. My mom doesn't have naming traditions, and I don't want to honor my grandparents. I love them and vice versa but my grandfather and three uncles have bipolar that was not very well managed so as a kid I was often scared sh**less at their house that they would kill each other.

Ex can go either way, but his family is very into tradition. If I ever want him or his parents involved, I would need to show respect by honoring their traditions.

Legally, it helps build my case for child support that I was inclusive.

Socially, my stepfather is also traditional and believes babies should carry the father's last name and, like I said, I have no attachment to mine.

As much as I want to hate ex, I don't. We didn't end on some huge fight and he has moments where he tries to find a way to make things work. He ended up just not being ready for this, and I don't think it makes him a horrible person. He is still the man I love and man I chose to have a child with. Involved or not, he is part of my baby.

 

[misspriss]

Lol at the not their baby. I should clarify that it's just my stepdad (he worries unique names lead to kids being made fun of and my kid already has a target as a single parent). My mom instantaneously jumps into momma bear stfu it's not your baby mode.

As for why keep his family traditions. My mom doesn't have naming traditions, and I don't want to honor my grandparents. I love them and vice versa but my grandfather and three uncles have bipolar that was not very well managed so as a kid I was often scared sh**less at their house that they would kill each other.

Ex can go either way, but his family is very into tradition. If I ever want him or his parents involved, I would need to show respect by honoring their traditions.

Legally, it helps build my case for child support that I was inclusive.

Socially, my stepfather is also traditional and believes babies should carry the father's last name and, like I said, I have no attachment to mine.

As much as I want to hate ex, I don't. We didn't end on some huge fight and he has moments where he tries to find a way to make things work. He ended up just not being ready for this, and I don't think it makes him a horrible person. He is still the man I love and man I chose to have a child with. Involved or not, he is part of my baby.

Well, we didn't have any naming traditions for first names, DS got DH's middle name and DD got my late mother's middle name. I don't think you need a "naming tradition" to pick a name, just because you don't have one doesn't mean you need to use your Ex's family's.

I think using the last name satisifies the legal requirements, as does using the traditional first letter for a middle name. It represents inclusiveness, but also compromise between yourself and being subservient to your Ex.

I know things ended well and you want to keep things amicable, but it seems to me like you are bending over backwards to satisfy someone else's requirements who is no longer even involved. I think the last name is justified for legal reasons, but I wouldn't do the traditional first name.

And for the record, if you Ex's parents would ONLY be involved in the child's life if you follow their naming traditions, they are not the kind of family you want involved in your child's life. That should not be significant in the slightest, and if it is, it is a big red flag.

Just my opinion though, take it with a grain of salt of course

 

[Snoopee]

My husband and brother in law's intials are COC. You can imagine how much fun that was when the kids at school picked up on it!

 

[DobbyForever]

My grandmother told my mom that she should get back on the boat and go back to Asia. My mom also sent me there for Christmas despite it being her birthday because my grandmother called her names and said she was keeping her grandkids away. She always took the high road, and I admire her so much for it. At the end of the day, unless I foresee physical or other forms of abuse I wouldn't bar them from being involved and I would do what my mom did and do everything in my power to encourage a positive relationship. They would be rightfully offended, and it doesn't inconvenience me to do it. It's something I want to do and would make me happy to honor their traditions, whether they choose to be involved or not.

 

[misspriss]

My grandmother told my mom that she should get back on the boat and go back to Asia. My mom also sent me there for Christmas despite it being her birthday because my grandmother called her names and said she was keeping her grandkids away. She always took the high road, and I admire her so much for it. At the end of the day, unless I foresee physical or other forms of abuse I wouldn't bar them from being involved and I would do what my mom did and do everything in my power to encourage a positive relationship. They would be rightfully offended, and it doesn't inconvenience me to do it. It's something I want to do and would make me happy to honor their traditions, whether they choose to be involved or not.

By all means, if it makes you happy as well do it. It would really bother me personally, but I'm not you and I don't know your family.

I do suppose it is a bit of a culture difference, I see what your grandmother did as emotional blackmail, and what your mom did as yielding to it. To me, that is validating emotional abuse, not encouraging a positive relationship. Again, just my opinion from what I read on the internet, not trying to offend.