Interviewing While Pregnant..

[icegurl470]

I have a moral dilemma. A position has opened up in the HR department for the company I already work for. It's a pay grade higher than what I'm in now and it's a nice cushy admin job, which is what I want. I applied and surprisingly got an interview. During the interview they informed me the position will be replacing a woman who is retiring after 28 years. They would like to fill the position as quickly as possible because she is leaving the end of May and will need to train her replacement. She's basically the only person who does her job and who ever takes her place will have big shoes to fill.

I was 9 weeks pregnant and did not tell them during my interview. I am now 11 weeks pregnant and have a second interview today. I want to tell them because if they offer me the job I will feel bad for not telling them. At the same time I don't want to ruin my chances, especially since I'm not past the 12 week mark yet. I don't want the fact that I'm pregnant to influence their decision. If I tell them and then they dont offer me the job, I will always wonder if it was because of my pregnancy. If I dont tell them and they do offer me the job, I will feel bad for not telling them. I know legally it's not suppose to matter and I don't have to say, but what are your thoughts, experiences. Any advise? Thanks

 

[icegurl470]

I think it should help to note that I'm in the US and plan to take a 12 week leave.

 

[mrsed]

I would go for the job and not mention it!

 

[crazycatlady5]

I wouldn't mention it. Legally you do not need to.

 

[Gracesmom10]

You absolutely have no obligation to tell them. It is your personal life, which is separate from your work life. When you get further along and start to show, if you get the job, then tell them then.

 

[jlw617]

I might tell them just because they might feel like you're not very honest after they find out which would probably be very shortly after you would be offered the position...I would also explain to them that the reason you're telling them is because you want them to know that you are a credible and honest person. That's just me though.

 

[ElmaWG]

Hi, i faced this exact same dilemma when pregnant with my son. I am also in the US. It is a VERY difficult decision to be sure!

I was laid off from a previous job a couple months prior to getting pregnant. I started applying for jobs before getting pregnant and continued after I got pregnant because we needed the money (plus I had to apply for work to keep getting unemployment payments).

I applied for a great job doing exactly what I wanted to be doing, but it was in another state. I was ~14 weeks, not quite showing yet. Had a phone interview and it went great. Then they wanted to fly me out for an in-person interview. So I had to decide whether to tell them I was pregnant or not. Nearly everyone told me NOT tell, for similar reasons other posters have said (basically because I was not legally required to ).

But in the end I DID decide to tell. My main reason was that I didn't want to move across the country and then have there possibly be bad blood or animosity between me and my employer. So at the end of the interview (which went great) I told the manager, and he was like: "Oh...ok. Well we have great maternity benefits here."

I left thinking I for sure had the job. But they never called me back. I called them a few weeks later, and they said they were still looking at candidates (Ha!). That was the end of it.

So, did I make the right decision? Who knows. I can live with it. I have a job I love now, and I know I would NOT have been happy with a boss who resented me (even though I hadn't legally done anything wrong). If we had been desperate for the money, I may have made the decision not to tell. I hope this helps you to some extent.

 

[Dark_Star]

Go for the job. You don't have to tell them until you're comfortable with it.

 

[LDC]

I had this too, although I'm UK based, and was made redundant from my old job.

I chose not to tell them I was pregnant (in my mind I was CLERLY showing at 6 months). They offered me the job and I told them then. They were good with me and no one ever said anything.

It's not a legal requirement and you will wonder if you didn't get it was it because of your disclosure. You're still going to be there a good amount of time before you go off &, in my mind, it's no different to being there 3 months then saying you are pregnant.

Good luck whatever you decide x

 

[loeylo]

I'm in a very similar position.

I'm currently covering as a supply teacher but the job had been advertised as permanent and I have an interview. I have been doing the job since December and I am nearly 12 weeks. There is no way I am telling them!

I definitely would hold off, legally (in the uk) you don't need to give much notice at all. Waiting until you are further on is perfectly acceptable!

 

[adr75050]

I am currently in your exact position and I am in the U.S. I was 4 or 5 weeks pregnant when i interviewed, and I did not mention anything. I am now 13 weeks and I have completed HR paperwork and I still have not mentioned anything. I am in education and I have to sign a contract before the position is really mine and everything is set into stone. So until I sign that, I plan to say nothing. Legally it shouldnt matter whether or not I am pregnant, in which case, when I am ready to share I will.

 

[adr75050]

BTW - I neglected to mention, I am relocating which is why I am switching jobs. But I don't actually start the job until August and I am due October 3rd. So there will be no hiding once I start.

 

[icegurl470]

Thanks everyone. I had my 2nd interview and I have a 3rd interview tomorrow. I haven't said anything. A part of me is hoping that they wont offer me the job, so unfortunately my heart just hasn't been in it. I'm actually just wanting it to be over with at this point. If by some miracle they did offer me the job I would probably take it and tell them I'm pregnant. I so worry it will be starting off on the wrong foot, but I've been with the company for 7 years and don't plan on leaving anytime soon, so if they give me the chance I would make it up to them.

 

[PurpleIvy44]

I agree that it's a tough decision. I applied and interviewed for a job that would have been a nice promotion when I was a few months pregnant. It was looking like I would probably get it but decided to tell the hiring manager that I would like to withdraw my application for personal reasons. I would have started the job, been there for a few months then have to go out on maternity leave. I didn't feel right doing that and the job required more hours & possible overtime which I didn't want with a newborn. Plus coming back to a job I hardly knew with months of work was not appealing to me personally. After I announced I was pregnant I told the hiring manager that was the reason why I withdrew and she totally agreed that it was the right decision. It would have been way to much and I never looked back.

 

[icklemonster]

I wouldn't say. The law can say one thing but there are a hundred reasons employers can use not to take someone on, and it is very hard to prove otherwise.

In a way I think you are doing your employer a favour by not telling them, because then you ensuring they offer a fair job process as expected by the law. If you don't get the role, and you've told them it will probably cause bad feeling from you and guilt from them (even if they're a fair employer they will be wondering if you think you were declined because of the pregnancy etc). If you don't get the role, but have kept the pregnancy a secret you will move on happy.

When it comes to telling them, just say you didn't tell anyone until after 1st tri, and as it couldn't affect your job application you didn't think it was relevant.

 

[ElmaWG]

Hi again. I was just thinking about something. I believe at some companies (or maybe in some states) you don't get maternity pay unless you've worked at your job for some amount of time (perhaps 1 year?). This might be something to look into. If you got the new job, could they use the fact that you won't have worked that position for the required amount of time when your baby is born to deny you benefits? Yeah, I know, it's kind of a cynical thought, but I could see some companies doing that.

 

[crazycatlady5]

Maybe I am just sheltered, but I can't imagine a boss being upset you didn't tell him/her. Employers should respect that it's your personal decision when you choose to share your personal news. Especially if you're in the first trimester, when so many choose to wait to tell.

I have told my boss, but that was my choice, and I already had the job so bit different. But he has been nothing but supportive and helpful. He even covered my class for me at the end of the day so that I didn't have to take the afternoon off work for my apt.

I know not all employers are this way but I still remain shocked when I hear stories otherwise.

 

[bunnyhop]

Same position I have been made redundant and have been going for interviews. I plan on telling employees if I get a job offer and not before

 

[Blu10]

Id tell when they offer the job but not before. I have an interview next week and am TTC after a loss in feb x

 

[mrs.e.e]

I'm a recruiter and I wouldn't tell them. Get the job on merit and then the fact that you plan to take 12 weeks off ( it's a yr in the uk !!) really shouldn't be an issue as they've identified you're the best person to do that job. I've returned from mat leave pregnant (unexpected!) and I haven't told my employer yet, I want them to remember what a great job I do before I drop that bombshell!!