Intro

[Tatoosh]

Hi all,

This is my first post. When I was 16, I became pregnant. I surrendered my sweet baby girl to adoption due to lack of resources to parent. She just turned 18 in March and I'm attempting to reunite with her. The adoptive parents I chose closed the adoption after two years with no explanation. They are not supporting the reunion. Surrendering her once was hard enough, then losing her twice was just agony. Now, fertility issues complicate all those feelings.

My husband and I have been together since 2001, married since 2006, and trying to conceive (TTC) since 2008. I had been on birth control pills for 15 years, but in 2005 switched to the non-hormonal IUD. I started charting, but when that wasn't helping us get pregnant, we switched to ovulation predictor kits (OPK). That was about 9 months ago. My husband has had a semen analysis (SA) and everything came back normal and healthy.

My OB/GYN has tried Clomid with me for 6 months with no results. We tried progesterone for 2 months. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a laparoscopy at 7:30 am.

I'm seeing a naturopath and have started taking supplements to support my glands that produce hormones I need. I've looked into acupuncture and will likely start that in the next couple weeks.

Overall I'm scared, sad, exhausted, anxious, and generally stressed out. I'm turning 36 this year and feeling the clock tick. Many of my friends have kids, babies too. My 42 year old cousin has a new baby. Things are weird right now and I think I'm a bit much for my family and friends. No one I know has gone through adoption as a birth parent. No one I know has had fertility issues, or secondary infertility, which seems like its an extra punch in the gut when I don't even have my first baby to snuggle. I'm on an adoption forum, which is helping me deal with those issues so much. I'm hoping to find some support and encouragement here.

And hopefully, like all the other stories I've read, I'll get to share success with you as well!

Wonderful to meet you

-Tatoosh

 

[LittleBird]

Tatoosh,

Your story is so touching. You were trying to make the best decision you could for your daughter when she was born -- now you just want to have contact with her. It seems like you have always tried to put her needs first and just want to be in contact with her. I can't understand why the adoptive parents would have a problem with it now that she's an adult. Why not let as many people love your child as possible? We all need help being the best parents we can be.

Your situation is probably a little different than others here, but we have the same goal in mind. I'm sorry that the Clomid and Progesterone did not work for you. That's what we're trying this cycle. I hope that they can find the answers you need soon and you can get your BFP and a baby to snuggle. And I hope that the reunion with your daughter goes well and she understands that you love her and want her to have the best life she can. It will happen for you. I'm glad you found the adoption forum and this site. Having people to talk to makes this all so much easier.

 

[bemybaby]

And wonderful to meet YOU. Sincerely wishing you the best of luck.

 

[Rivetkitten]

 

[BearsMummy]

I can't add anymore to what LittleBird said. You obviously wanted the best for your daughter, and put her needs first. I salute you for that.

I really hope things work out for you.