Aidan's Mummy
Mummy to Aidan and Oliver
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- Apr 4, 2008
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What about people with dsiabled children? Sometimes they can't work due to the fact their child needs round the clock care and regular hopsital appoinments. No job would accomodate for that and often with a severly disabled child both parents have to stay at home to help with carers coming into the home. When they planned that child they didn't know their child would have many additional needs therefore they were not irresponsible when tryingx
I think thats completly different, although im not sure what we are talking about, are we talking about parents with children who have such sereve disablities that both parents need to give round the clock care being on benefits or having another child?
Im not judging anyone, just expressing my opioion, but parents in that circumance are different from the parent themselves being disabled, however if you are talking about a child which such extesntive care needs that both parents need to provide round the clock care i would wonder how they could cope with another child.
My BIL is mentally and physically disabled, he was my MILs first child, and she went on to have three more kids (thankfully or my OH wouldnt be here) but although i beleive she got some benefits from his diability she went back to work when the kids were older and FIL never needed to give up work.
Nothing wrong with parents of kids with disabilities having more kids, i think it actuallu adds balance and normality (at least from what ive seen in my OHs family) but if a child needed that much care then im not sure it would be fair on another child being born where they clearly cant be given that much attention. Infact i worked with social services and trained volenteers to work with children known to social services, and there were some children there who were having to have social workers and "befrienders" as their parents didnt have enough time for them while caring for another, most in this case were terminally ill children, but it was really sad for those kids and they struggled with not having the attention the other child did, one older one even self harmed. so its difficult, but its up to the parents.
As for claiming benefits, i have said i have no issue with that, people need to claim for all sorts of reasons, im very pro the diability assistance and if anything think more money should be invested in this area, people cant help if they arnt well enough to work, of if their child is, or whatever, i was my mums carer since i was 7 (unpaid) so im very pro disability. i was just responding to the comments previously.
Disabilities/chronic illnesses vary and have different impact on each familis. I child I care for has leukimia she is currently being treated in a hopsital over 150 miles away from their home. The parents do no leave her bedside in fear of her suddenly going downhill quickly and them not being able to get there in time. Both the mother and the father stay in parent accomodation. The father did work before his daughter became ill but due to the metal and phsyical stress that having a seriously ill give he had to give up work. He just simply couldn't concentrate on his job and he became increasingly depressed. So he gave up work to be by his daughters bedside and support his wife. His wife had the coil fitted when their child became ill (they were trying previously). Three months ago she began feeling tired, sick etc, she was pregnant. It turns out the coil wasn't fitted properly and allowed pregnancy to occur. They didn't plan this baby but they found themselves in that situation through no fault of their own. The family would love to be able to continue with day to day activties i.e. working but having a child that is so ill doesn't allow this. As a student children's nurse I work with families everyday. I have seen families react to excatly the same illnesses in completley different ways. Some crumble and only focus is that child, others seem to throw themselves into work (maybe it takes their mind of it) Neither of their reactions are wrong just different because they are indiviudal people/families with inidvidual needs. x
Yes and that exactly what I was saying, I was a nurse and my son has spent time in hospital and seeing parents there take shifts to always be by their long term ill sick childs bed is exhursting. Of course they cant work, but thats what I was saying, if i were in the same circumstances im sure we would be there (we are lucky that my husband would get leave from work long term not so sure about how money would be though). And in addition what i said was how more money should be invested, which this is clearly an example of where more money should be invested for the parents to not have to worry about money at all during this process.
Your point that she is pregnant really again emphasises what i said, she clearly didnt plan that child and although im sure that child will be very loved and cared for, at this present time she didnt want another child, because their time and energy is taken up with their sick child. She clearly wouldnt have planned another child at a time like that. that was my point, hopfully they are getting by finicially with whatever assistance the government can provide (which i doubt is enough) but that is clearly what i was saying about more money needed, David Cameron himself talked about how poor it was when his son was ill, i dont know if he has done anything about it and of course he could afford extra private things that the majoirty cant, but this is clearly an area that needed extra funding, either for those in these circustances or other types of disabilities, providing extra servies and even rest bite care.
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I paid taxes for years when I was living in Cheshire and doing my well paid office job. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to work, not everyone is on benefits because they can't be arsed to work! 
