Is becoming pregnant while obese ethical?

[emmajane]

Have thought quite a bit about what I think about this. I am very obese. I think probably the biggest person on the forum and I think I do think it is slightly unfair for very obese people to have children. I didn't think so until I was in my second pregnancy having more difficulty with scans, possible raised blood pressure, higher likelihood of diabetes and bleeding after the birth. Often larger babies, need for more specialist equipment etc etc. The list can go on and on. I truly understand the need to have children and knowing this wouldn't have stopped me having my first two but it has stopped me having another one until I lose weight as I wouldn't want something to happen to me for my kids. I know my situation is slightly different as I am excessively overweight and have two young LO's already and I def wouldn't want to put anyone off TTC, particularly as lots of other people with other issues are putting themselves and their future babies at higher risk as well.

 

[berniegroves]

My BMI is currently 30, at the highest is was 32 and i have reduced that over the last few months. I did aim to lose more weight before conceiving, but we were lucky and got a BFP on our second month. My weight has fluctuated a lot in my life and the BMI of 32 was the biggest i had ever been.
But despite my size i am fit and healthy, i exercise around 5 times a week and am in good shape (not great - but good) i don't drink alcohol and i don't smoke, i get my 5 a day and plenty of protein and carbs and i take multi-vitamins. I am very rarely sick and so feel that my size is only one aspect of my ability to have a baby and be healthy.
I think it is just the easiest aspect for people to judge you on as it is visible to everyone.
I am worried that people will judge me for my size and am trying to get past this and trust my self.
I know plenty of women who have drunk alcohol and/or smoked during pregnancy but because they were thinner to start with people assume they are healthy.

I think that at the end of the day we are all human and nobody is completly perfect, so in every woman there will be something that could be improved upon or made more healthy. But this is just my opinion.

Also my Mum was a healthy weight when she had me, but for the rest of my life she was a terrible mother. So your weight in pregnancy (as long as the medical professionals say it is okay) isn't the be all and end all. It is the type of mother you will be when your baby arrives that is important.

But again, this is just my opinion, so please don't lynch me!

 

[storm4mozza]

i think its the individuals choice and it should be respected. i mean what if the woman is overweight through no fault of her own, example running in the family or a disability which means they cannot loose the weight.. should they not have the right to be mothers to?

 

[sequeena]

Bringing up other conditions such as a blood disorder and Spina Bifida is irrelevant because you did not choose to have these conditions and you can't avoid having them. You can avoid being obese.

The op is implying there that people choose to be obese ... which I think is totally wrong, labelling every obese person the same.

At the end of the day nobody will know the conditions that an obese lady might be trying to work through so that she can become pregnant. She might have an under active thyroid, be on certain medications ... and without knowing the full story, I think judging larger people who ttc and calling it unethical is wrong, simple as.

Yup!! I INTENTIONALLY gained weight as a teenager because I was being sexually abused. The psychological effects of that meant I found it very hard to lose the weight, food became my safety net. If I ate it meant no-one could hurt me (didn't quite work like that but it's what I wanted to believe). Ironically, pregnancy has meant I've lost 4kg and 2 BMI points. I should be pregnant more often

I am in the obese category but I am tall and carry it well. I'm active, live on a mountain and walk 3 dogs everyday. I just can't stop using food as my safety net. Bugger what other people think of me, walk a mile in my shoes first before judging

 

[peanut56]

I was classed as obese when I became pregnant. My blood pressure was higher after about 30 weeks, but it was nothing serious. I had no issues or complications other than that minor one. So no, I do not think it's unethical at all.

ETA: It doesn't take much to be classed as obese these days. When I became pregnant, I fell into the obese category, but I carried it fairly well and you never would have thought I was obese. A bit overweight sure, but definitely not obese.

 

[kate.m.]

Pregnancy & birth is very physically demanding, & it makes sense to try your best to get "fit" before hand. I see it in a similar way to running a marathon (which ive never done! lol!)! If i was going to run a marathon, i'd train & try to get fit first, i wouldnt just turn up on the day having done nothing!
So, i guess my view is: if you know you're not in good shape & theres something you can do about it, then have a try! Im not saying everyone needs to be a size 10, just as fit & healthy as is possible for that individual!

 

[Jess137]

I am classified as obese even though I weigh 150 pounds since I am very short. I plan on TTC. I think this is a personal choice. Any mother has to weigh the risks and benefits to herself and the baby for all sorts of things when TTC. I also have bipolar disorder. I have seen a lot of people online say that it is not "ethical" to have a child since I have bipolar disorder. It is NOT up to anyone else how I choose to live and raise a family. I understand if it is something like doing drugs or drinking alcohol, that will almost definitely affect the child, but even a woman at her ideal weight can have complications. That is a risk you have to take when you decide to get pg. I will be an excellent mother. I know it in my heart. No one has the right to tell me that I shouldn't have children because of something out of my control. I know I went a little off topic, but my meds for the bipolar contribute to my weight as well. I do my best to eat right and exercise so that I am in the best shape I can be in to carry a child. That kind of thinking really ticks me off.

I am not in any way trying to insult anyone with conflicting views, I'm just trying my best to tell you how I feel.

 

[annawrigley]

Jess my dad has bipolar and he is the best dad/grandad I could wish for He never let his bipolar affect his parenting. I didnt even know until a couple of years ago. You'll be a great mum xx

 

[Jess137]

Thanks Anna. Sorry, I got a little riled up

 

[Eve]

Depending on size. I have a history of high bp and lost a child due to it. Since having K I have put on 40-50 more lbs (ick) and I would find it very selfish of myself given my history to have another without getting in shape a bit better before hand. I don`t think it should be like that for everyone, but if you do suffer from health problems related to being obese severe complications can happen as a result in which you may not bring your baby home. I am one of them. If my weight would have been lower I do not feel I would have had the bp problems, and if I didnt have the bp problems, I wouldnt have suffered an abruption and my son could still be here today. Each situation is different mind you, so anyone on the larger end please dont feel I am attacking anyone. I am like 230lbs and only 5foot1inch haha... so I am not small, by a long shot!

 

[LoraLoo]

I think its unfair people are jumping on the OP, she asked a fair question, posted in the right place. I don't see why anyone be offended any more than asking if smoking in pregnancy etc is ethical. She's chosen this subject to cover, she cant do them all (for those who keep turning it back on her asking if the same goes for women underweight/drinkers etc) we would be here all day.

Being Obese does increase risks to the baby, thats a fact. If the Mum is aware of that and still decided to get pregnant then thats her choice, I would never say that someone shouldn't have a baby xxxx

 

[Mummyplus3]

I havent read the whole thread but though I would add my opinion on the OP.

I think it is unwise to actively TTC whilst morbidly obese for many reasons, because of the extra risks you and the baby etc... and also No-one wants to be a fat mum do they!

As it stands I am morbidly obese and I fell pregnant with both of my children by accident whilst morbidly obese. They are happy healthy babies so I am lucky, but my weight did cause problems during pregnancy, I had to have extra scans as it was difficult for the sonographer to check K was ok throguh all the fat I carry on my stomach.

Then there was the amount of time it took to get through everything to reach E when I needed the emergancy C section, I then had quite a big bleed that it was difficult to work out where it was coming from.

So as a big person I feel justified to comment that I would never TTC whilst this big however is it unethical to be pregnant? Hell no!

 

[andella95]

I can't believe this thread is still going....

 

[Pixie2320]

Do you think it's ethical for women with eating disorders to get pregnant? I've seen far more harm come to babies born to mothers with anorexia/bulimia than I have to those born to obese mothers.