Is breastfeeding ruining your sex life?

[fashionlover]

I absolutely love breastfeeding my baby and have no plans to stop any time soon. But I have absolutely no sex drive and it is beginning to affect my marriage. My husband has been very patient with me through this whole process but I think he starting to take it very personally that I am NEVER in the mood. I am unsure what I should do to get things going again because while I had a pretty strong libido pre-baby, I have NO libido at all now. Any advice or other women experiencing this as well??

 

[deafgal]

It'll gets better ..especially after your baby start solid.

more likely you are just worn out. And that you may be sick of being touched. That is You are always holding your baby and when you are not holding your baby, you want to be left alone and have your space. It probably help if your husband do his share of caring the baby so you can have that me time.

 

[Tacey]

As above, being exhausted ruins my sex life! DH struggled with it first time round, as I think he worried there was something wrong between us. I think things started improving when Alice was nearing a year old. The second time, he was more relaxed, as he knew it wasn't personal and would right itself. Arthur is a much easier child, and I felt more in the moo much earlier.

Making sure you look after yourself, keep hydrated, well fed and as well rested as you can, and you'll probably find your libido returns

 

[Noo]

Absolutely no sex drive here. I'm far too tired to wash my hair half the time - Let alone de-fluff the muff! Sod that.

 

[kung_pao mama]

Ive found that the reason i have no sex drive is because i feel disgusting most of the time. lol. On the rare days that i find time to shower, shave, fix my hair/makeup and wear something other than sweatpants and a t shirt, i actually feel a bit sexy and am much more likely to jump all over my husband when he gets home.

If you can, take it a step further and express some milk and have a family member care for the baby and take an afternoon to yourself to just relax, recharge and get yourself together. I work part time and leave my son with his grandmother a couple days a week and she offered to keep him one day for a couple extra hours while i just sat at home and watched a movie and had a soak in the bathtub. It was heavenly. and that evening (after my husband got home and our son was in bed) was heavenly, too :0)

 

[kung_pao mama]

Absolutely no sex drive here. I'm far too tired to wash my hair half the time - Let alone de-fluff the muff! Sod that.

haha. defluff the muff.

 

[annio84]

Absolutely no sex drive here. I'm far too tired to wash my hair half the time - Let alone de-fluff the muff! Sod that.

Oh Noo! Your way with words has seriously brightened up my day!

 

[Kanichen34]

Yup - no sex drive here either. But a few times I've just gone with it for my husbands sake and got into it halfway through. If even that seems too much effort and he's really horny then a quick BJ tends to solve the problem quickly! ;-) I do look forward to my sex drive returning though!

 

[Perplexed]

Absolutely no sex drive here. I'm far too tired to wash my hair half the time - Let alone de-fluff the muff! Sod that.

Love your way with words!

 

[misspriss]

Hm, not like that here. I am always wanting it and breastfeeding almost full time still. I'm just as horny as ever...we just don't get many chances. In fact, I thought it made me MORE horny for a while, but maybe I'm just normally that bad?

I don't have much time to shower, granted, but neither does DH. It's the lack of guaranteed infertile times that put a damper on us.

And I don't de-fluff the muff, my muff fluff has a purpose so I keep it!

 

[history_girls]

Absolutely no sex drive here. I'm far too tired to wash my hair half the time - Let alone de-fluff the muff! Sod that.

simply brilliant.

Couldn't agree more

 

[RaspberryK]

I think it's children in general that ruin sex lives, well it has ours.
And the one time we do dtd I end up with a bun in the oven.
Xx

 

[Sarah125]

No sex drive here either. If it's a toss-up between sex and sleep then sleep wins every time!

It will get better soon enough. They are only babies a little while

 

[scoobydrlp]

I wasn't sure if it was breastfeeding that was causing my lack of sex drive, or just having a baby and all that comes with it. But LO stopped nursing altogether at 13 months, and whamo! Sex drive is back!

 

[bcos21]

I am going through the same thing. My husband is convinced it's the birth control (I'm on the mini-pill). But I am just so exhausted and I do breast feed the baby, so if I see my husband heading toward my chest I want to scream. Someone said it before, but I get so tired of being touched.

He has even started pushing the idea of a second baby because he thought it would put me in the mood.

I hadn't even thought about breastfeeding affecting sex drive, is that a real thing!? didn't need anything else negatively impacting my already non existent sex drive haha

 

[Bevziibubble]

For a while here as I was so tired and not in the mood at all. It does get better over time though, so give it time

 

[lau86]

Glad it's not just me! Yuck and it's valentines day on Friday I know poor hubs is hoping for some action....

 

[Pearls18]

Yes and no. We haven't DTD yet because I have only just finished bleeding from birth, I was leaking milk still, baby is always with us (I won't DTD in the same room as him asleep or not) and I haven't really done anything to tidy myself up, but hubby is working away ATM. In 2 weeks time I am getting my coil refitted, my hair cut, I am going to buy some new underwear and spend a looooooog time in the bath tidying up! Then I can't wait to be intimate again, especially because he is working away for the next 2 months and we will have only seen him for 24 hours in 3 weeks when we next see him it makes me crave him more, because I miss him and the intimacy as well as just the DTD part. I will wear a bra though, I know it sounds weird but when I am BF I do not see my boobs as a sexy part of me, I feel like they are tools plus I would be embarrassed to leak lol. I know that's silly and I know breasts are dual purpose but for me when I'm BF they are the baby's. So yep, although I am tired I look forward to having my sex life back BF or not, it's lovely to rekindle with DH after what has been a stressful few weeks, it's escapism I don't want to "give in" to BF etc if that makes sense. And it's fun!

 

[Girly922]

I read that the hormones released while BFing suppresses libido, and for me it has done! I didn't have a huge sex drive pre-ttc but now we're either busy with DD or I'm too tired. Sleep most definitely wins! Haha. The only time I seem to get in the mood these days is in my dreams, once I'm awake it's back to looking after the baby.

 

[Noo]

BF hormones suppress sex drive to protect the nursling from you becoming pregnant and affecting our supply.