Is it normal? So worried ... please help!

[_Meep_]

Have you told anyone yet? For some reason, I'm finding the thought of doing so absolutely monstrous!

Oh pleeease let us make it to Christmas.

 

[baileybubs]

No we arent telling anyone yet. I may tell parents when it gets to christmas but everyone else after the scan. I'm not looking forward to it to be honest coz MIL wasnt over the moon when I told them last time! So now we already have a 6 month old too lord knows how she'll react! She adores Emilia now but its just that horrible initial reaction. Apparently the best way to tell people is in an excited and happy way coz then they struggle to be negative lol! Its a shame we wont get our dating scans til after Christmas isnt it? We could have done scan pics as Christmas gifts lol!

 

[_Meep_]

We're definitely not telling anyone until after the scan. I know, I wanted to be able to tell people before Christmas so they would buy presents for the baby rather than for me! Hey ho.

I think I will just send everyone the scan picture and leave it at that. They can ask their questions, but I'll probably have run off and hidden in Scotland by then.

I know my mum will be cool about it, and my sister already has a child so there shouldn't be any jealousy there, but my dad will be awful. He will start worrying and asking private questions which I know will annoy me. I'm not sure how my brother will react either - he's only a couple of years younger than me and I think he's found it hard to accept that I've pretty much left home and I'm not always around any more. He loves our nephew though, so maybe he'll love my baby too, once it's born.

Why wasn't your MIL too happy? It's your life and family, so she'll probably just have to deal with it ... ?

 

[baileybubs]

Well my df is her youngest and I don't think she thought he was ready (plus I'm older than him by 5 years so I think she thought it was all because of pressure from me!). She's one of those "monotone" people I call her lol! When we told her first time she said "oh right" and that was it! She's hard to read and rarely shows her emotions. I got upset last time coz she didn't say congratulations or anything but this time I know better than to expect it lol!

Aw I'm sure your brother will be happy for you. My brother was over the moon and he is the least likely person to get along with kids lol. He'll never have his own.
And all we need to keep telling ourselves is that no matter how everyone reacts at first they will love this baby once it arrives.

 

[_Meep_]

Five years, paff! It wouldn't be an issue if he was five years older than you ... I don't really see the difference. Plus it's up to him to decide whether or not he's ready. Both my previous boyfriends had weird possessive mothers ... not saying your MIL is weird, just that mothers can sometimes feel threatened in some way by their sons' girlfriends!

OH's mum is luckily really nice, and the polar opposite of monotone. She likes to ask questions! I've decided already that being constantly questioned about my pregnancy is probably going to bother me a bit once we have broken the news, but OH said not to worry, he'd tell her to fuck off if she got too nosy. She is sweet though.

I can't believe your MIL didn't congratulate you at least. It's a bit cruel when you're vulnerable and need to feel like you have the support of others.

I'm not so sure! I think he will probably think I am still too young and poor lol. He was horrified when the news of my first baby came out when I was 17.

Yeah I know they will, but I'm already feeling very defensive, and if anyone has anything shitty to say, I'm just going to tell them that as an adult it's my choice and they don't have to be involved if they have nothing pleasant to say. I'm also going to be telling everyone to sod off with their advice on growing/naming/handling my baby. At this point, I just can't be arsed with it.

I feel a bit angry today.

Please pardon my language.

 

[WhisperGirl]

This is my fourth. I've never had sickness, my boobs were sore with the first and only with the second at about eight weeks, not sore at all with the third. I get almost no symptoms in first tri apart from a dull lower back pain. However, I DO feel the slight pain and swelling when I bend over down in my womb area already and I don't usually feel that until 12 weeks or more.

 

[baileybubs]

Whispergirl its so weird how different women's pregnancies differ isnt it? And you must be superwoman with 2 under 2 and currently pregnant (although fast forward a year or so and that might be me too lol!)

Meep aww you'll get all sorts of rubbish from people about everything now! I had a work colleugue last pregnancy who was telling me I shouldnt eat mayo. She wouldnt believe me when I told her its only homemade mayo you cant have in pregnancy and she almost took my food off me! I was so annoyed, even if its advised not to eat something its still my choice whether I do or not! And then once baby arrives you'll get all the "when I had my baby comments" lol, just have to let them go over your head lol.

Yeah my MIL is a bit harsh but my df always says she doesnt mean it shes just a private kinda person, wont let her guard down or let her true feelings show so often doesnt respond in emotional ways. I still think its no excuse for not saying congratulations though!

I'm sure your brother will be ok and come round to it hun, they always do.

 

[_Meep_]

Thanks Whispergirl. I have that weird swollen pain too and I'm only 5w2d.

Bailey - I know, I'm totally dreading it. I'm considering laying out pregnancy rules, with my family at least, when I finally bite the bullet and tell them my terrifying news. So far my rules go something like this:

No advice please, unless I ask for it - I know about folic acid, vitamin D, iodine, etc. - I'm 26 and I passed my biology A level.
No asking about my baby's sex or possible names please - I'll tell you if I want to (I don't, so don't hold out hope).
No name suggestions please. Considering the name I ended up with, your naming abilities stink.
No implications that you feel my baby would do better brought up a different way to that which I have chosen please - because that's just rude.

Reading that back now, it sounds sooo psychotic and mean! These hormones are really getting to me. I don't think my family will be too bad to be honest, but you never know. People go crazy over babies.

I cannot believe all that about the mayonnaise - how awful, I'd have lost my temper so badly. I'd never dream of saying that to someone, whether I thought they were wrong or not. It's just too personal.

I don't thinks it's too much to ask either - it's hardly like you were asking her to spill all her secrets and wear her heart on her sleeve.

My brother has just started getting to know a new girl who he is hoping might become his girlfriend, so I have my fingers crossed that this will happen and it might distract him from my news!