Is this terrible of me?

[liamnsean]

Okay- I want to preface this with saying that I feeling incredibly blessed and thankful that I am pregnant with a healthy baby boy. I truly am. I already have one little boy and I know that they'll be great pals and have a great time growing up together...at least I hope. I also realize that many people try and try to have children and struggle with it and we had no problems either time...that too is a blessing.

This is the problem...
I find myself kind of mourning the fact that I am not going to ever have a daughter of my own. I want to stop thinking of it, but it keeps creeping back up on me. We are 99% sure we are done after two. It's not that I want this little guy to be a girl, guess I kind of wish we could have one more, but there are no guarantees we'd have a girl anyway. Two in daycare is going to break the bank and just can't fathom having three in daycare. Also, I am getting up there in age and think that this is enough for my body. How do I not think about what I am missing without a girl and just stay focused on my boys. It probably didn't help that I was talking to two ladies at work with only boys. Their boys are much older and they both told me that the desire to have a daughter is still ALWAYS there for them. I don't want to be like that 20 years from now!!

 

[Samantha675]

I don't think it is horrible to want a girl. I think you would have a different kind of relationship with a little girl as opposed to a boy, and as a women, you want to experience a mother-daughter relationship. It does not mean you charish your little boys any less. I just had a boy, and I really hope my next one is a girl. I am very close to my mom, and I really want to share that kind of relationship with a daughter.

 

[liamnsean]

I don't think it is horrible to want a girl. I think you would have a different kind of relationship with a little girl as opposed to a boy, and as a women, you want to experience a mother-daughter relationship. It does not mean you charish your little boys any less. I just had a boy, and I really hope my next one is a girl. I am very close to my mom, and I really want to share that kind of relationship with a daughter.

That's exactly how I feel. I too am close to my mom and want the same. BUT, it obviously isn't in the cards for me, so how do I get over it? I feel so guilty that I feel this way as I am pregnant with this little fella!!

 

[bumpity]

I don't think you should feel bad at all. I would Love a little girl and now I'm pg I want a girl even more! We have decided not to find out the gender until birth as I think that the shock and surprise of any baby will make me be glad its here regardless of a girl or boy.

The thing to remember is that no 2 people are the same. For example my mum thinks girls are soooo easy compared to boys, but my MIL thinks girls are sooooo difficult compared to boys - she is completely devoted to her son, while isn't fussed as much by her girls (sad isn't it?).

the thing is that you'll be a brilliant mum to 2 wonderful boys and who knows - you can't always plan and schedule children that easily.........

Please stop feeling guilty x

 

[Samantha675]

That's exactly how I feel. I too am close to my mom and want the same. BUT, it obviously isn't in the cards for me, so how do I get over it? I feel so guilty that I feel this way as I am pregnant with this little fella!!

I don't know hun, I guess just give it time and work on it being something that you accept. That, and pray for wonderful daughters-in-law one day!

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Dont feel bad.....I really really really really want this baby to be a boy and lots of people try and make me feel bad by saying "be grateful you have a baby" and "lots of women cant have babies" .....Obviously i am grateful and im not saying that i wouldnt want it if it is a girl and i will love it no less but I cant lie - I do have a preference!

You are normal to feel like this and you never know....you may decide after all that you would like a no. 3!

 

[liamnsean]

Thanks!! I am really struggling with this, but know I just need to let things come as they may. Perhaps I'd drive a daughter too batty or something!! I love my boys - I really do. I just don't always want to feel like I am missing out on something.

Thanks again for your responses. This isn't something I share with more than my OH.

 

[elm]

I don't think that's awful at all.

Also, think it's worth mentioning that you don't know how you'll feel in a couple of years time - if you feel like there is a space in your family for another little one maybe you could look at adoption? Just something to consider in the future maybe xxx

 

[bex]

I know how you feel. I have a 3 year old son and we hopefully find out the sex of this baby on wednesday.

I keep telling myself that this one is a boy aswell, just have a feeling it will be.

Its a horrible thing to say and i haven't admitted this to anyone, not even my OH but i will initially be a little disappointed if its a boy.

Although when i think about it, it will be so much easier if it is a boy, i know how to look after a boy, i know what boys like and dislike.

I haven't a clue what girls are into!!

I think its human nature to feel some disappointment.

But I know that if it is a boy, i certainly won't be trying for a girl!! Two LO's are quite enough for me!! LOL

 

[ryder]

There is nothing wrong with feeling bad. Ideally everyone wants a little boy and a girl, I know I want both.

Boys and girls each have a special relationship with each parent, and having a daughter that you can spoil as a baby, do girl things like hair and makeup etc, is very special. Its something that you wont have with a boy.

I know my SO wants a little boy one day. We are going to try 3 times... And after that I "may" have convinced him to adopt! LOL

 

[Blob]

I think that this is a problem for everyone, i sooooooo wanted a girl, but im totally thinking its a boy but im really worried i'll be disapointed if it is a boy i dont want to be disapointed and sad about my baby though its gutting!! Also you got to think that although its not the same you may have that sort of relationship, either with grandchildren (i know my OH's dad is praying for a grandaughter ) Or with your boys partners when they grow up, i know i have a great relationship with my OH parents and talk to them all the time.

 

[samina]

dont feel bad iknow lots of preople who feel the sme my sister always wanted a girl she had 5 boys until finalkly she got what she always wanted .... a beautifull girl whos now 10!!

 

[cuddles314]

Don't feel bad hun. You can't help the way you feel , and many women would love to experience the Mother/daughter bond, just as many would love to have the Mother/son bond. Either way you never know what the future holds, but there's no point feeling down about it now.
xx

 

[dizzy65]

aww

 

[Nic-Flowers]

Don't feel bad hun. You can't help the way you feel , and many women would love to experience the Mother/daughter bond, just as many would love to have the Mother/son bond. Either way you never know what the future holds, but there's no point feeling down about it now.
xx

I agree...and it will all be great in the end and you will feel better.

 

[sjnams]

I wouldn't feel bad about missing out on that mother-daughter bond. My mum was desperate for a boy but ended up with three girls....was so bad she had no girl names thought up and was going to call me Steven untill one of my uncles stepped in!! Anyway, long story short, she now has 2 grandsons that she absolutely dotes on. So although the urge for a son never left, she is now happy anyway!

 

[Jemma_x]

i wouldnt feel bad hun, i think everyone wants a little girl to have the mother-daughter bond but you've been blessed with to healthy little boys and when they grow up and get married you'll have daughters in law which im sure will be wonderful for you and you never know they may give you a granddaughter who im sure would bring you so much happyness but you never know what the future holds x

 

[biteable]

Im glad somebody else posted this lol ive wanted to for so long but felt mean as i thought some people might take it wrong and feel i dont want my baby which isnt true.I had my scan last weds and was convinced i was having a girl which i was over the moon about,but truth was im expecting a boy,i broke down and said some pretty horrible things,all that i didnt mean,i ruined my o/hs day as he was so chuffed and took alot of flack from mil for being selfish and self centred.The truth is yes i did want a girl but i can only say hormones blew it way out of preportion,after a few hours i wasnt bothered that im expecting a boy,and i week later im so excited and if i was told theyd made a mistake and i gave birth to a girl,id be equaly as upset