is this wrong?

[vicky125]

hey just wondering on your thoughts of this situation..

sil arent the best of friends anymore, after a few fights and arguments over silly things we sorta got back onto talking terms but its strained

i don't really have to go over all thats happened but needless to say she is a bit of a copy cat and likes to do what i do.. she had her little boys name picked since before she fell pregnant.. and then a couple of weeks ago i had my 20 week scan and found out I'm having a boy aswell but when i mentioned names i liked mil complained about not being able to pronounce it among other things so i stated that i was picking a few and not telling anyone until after he was born when i decided his name..
coincidentally after i announce I'm not telling anyone sil (who was 37 weeks at the time) decided she didn't like the name she had picked anymore and was going to change her sons name too and keep her choices a secret until birth aswell, although she had spent most of the pregnancy referring to him by his name, and had things made with that name embroidered onto them.. it made me upset that she changed this late with no proper reason except i felt like it... grr


but now that I'm having a water birth i have to go to the same hospital she will be going to as my one doesn't offer the service which makes me wonder if i tell her and the family that I'm going to be going to the same hospital be having the water birth before she has him (she is due in 13 days), that she will want to do the same..


i know its selfish of me to want to keep this a secret until after she has had him but its something i would like to do by myself and not be copied IYKWIM..
i mean if i do tell now i doubt they could organise it for her as its so close to her due date and she really thinks she will go early (personally my guess is that she will go 6 days over but I'm not really good at that stuff ) but i don't think id want to risk it..

what would you do in this situation. share or keep the secret a bit longer?

 

[Andypanda6570]

Something that happened to me, we both got pregnant 8 weeks apart, she on purpose me on accident. When she asked what I was going to name the baby if it was a girl I said Sofia. I lost my baby at 20 weeks an after that i asked her what she was going to name her little one if it was a girl and she said Sofia I wanted to saddle up a horse and ride over her with it My daughter just died I gave birth to her and she says Sofia?????????? Sadly 7 weeks after loosing Ava she lost her baby and I am so sorry for this. But you tell me how can you tell the mother of a dead baby that is suffering beyond belief you want to name your new baby the same name. I was mortified. So yes if I was you I would be pissed, tell her to be herself and grow up and appreciate things, you don't hide things from people, that is so immature.. or tell her to get friggin life..
I am sorry you are going through this..

 

[vicky125]

im soo sorry about your loss.. i bet she would have been a great baby.. but it sucks when people like that won't listen to you and go and take your names/ideas anyway..

 

[xpensivtaste]

i have had problems with my SIL. thank god we dont talk at all anymore which is for the best. she was very jealous and hoped to god i didnt have a boy as i would get the gender i wanted having 2 girls already. she made me feel awful before my scan, not because of the taunts about her thinking i would have a girl but because i really didnt want to prove her right so she could laugh at my expense...needless to say we found out we were having a boy and she took no time at all after she found out, telling the world through facebook before we had chance to tell everyone ourselves. now i just think i wasted a lot of energy worrying about what she thought when her opinion didnt matter in the slightest, she was and is a sad little girl who thrives off others unhappiness.

i suppose what i am getting at is yeah keep your name a secret. we are anyway apart from close family. bitterness can cause people to act in very selfish ways. as for the copying, take it as a compliment. she obviously envies you.
the fact that she changed her name choice doesnt definitely mean she wants to copy you either, she may have just gone off the name she chose - i know i did because of something my MIL said to me and now we have a completely different name picked out and i am wary about people knowing as i dont want them to put me off it.
ofcourse i could be wrong and she just wants to wait and hear what name you pick so she can try to do one better but thats petty stuff you dont need to worry about...dont waste your energy on her, focus on you and your little man.

 

[Charlie_x]

id keep secret untill after she has had him x

 

[ifoundmysoul]

id keep secret untill after she has had him x

me to

 

[Futuremommy1]

there's no reason to tell anyone and a good reason not to. Keep it to yourself. With people like that around I'd tend to hold most things close to my chest