Issues with anxiety/depression. Is this normal?

[TennesseeGal]

Hi all. I am 32 yo and found out 10-1-16 that I was pregnant. I was on Lorazepam up to 1.5 mg a day (sometimes .5, depended on the day) and heartburn pills for ulcers due to stress. The moment I found out I was pregnant I immediately stopped taking both and my Dr. confirmed to stop both ASAP. Now here is the kicker... I was on both of those pills primilary because I was having problems with anxiety and depression because I COULDN'T get pregnant (and some was work as I work in Emergency Services for 10+ years). I am the oldest sister and my younger sister (due in February) was too scared to tell me when she was pregnant because she knew how bad I was mentally struggling because I had an unexplained infertility issue (do to endometriosis). That being said, I always thought that the second I got pregnant that all my issues with stress/anxiety/depression would go away and happiness would take over. And that is not at all the case. The night after I found out I was pregnant I threw up, couldn't sleep, woke up in a sweat every night when I did sleep, and it has been that way sense. I don't understand. I feel like I won't let myself be happy and I feel so stupid and selfish even typing that out! My family is rallying around me and showering me with well wishes and love... and I just want to cry because I feel so, depressed. I don't understand. I have wanted this since I can remember, and now that I have this pretty much miracle baby I'm still not happy. It doesn't make sense to me. No one talks about depression while pregnant and none of my friends had these feelings and I feel alone. My husband is very religious, as am I, and he doesn't believe in anxiety and thinks I can just pray and fix everything, and I am, but I'm still in a dark place and don't know what to do. My sister is a nurse and tells me to pretty much get over it and deal with it, but she's never had anxiety issues before. I don't know what to do.

Is what I am feeling even close to normal? Is it withdraw from Lorazepam? Will it go away? What do I do. I don't want to stress myself out the point of hurting my baby and I don't want to suffer in silence because this topic is so taboo that no one talks about it. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[Coco Tutu]

Hey there!
So relevant experience but didn't want to read and run. To me it makes sense to feel strange after quitting your meds though. Have you asked your doctor about possible withdrawal symptoms?

Also, for an anxious person freaking out about a pregnancy seems pretty normal. It is a life-changing event and maybe you thought you would never get pregnant so now you need to adjust to the news.

It's great that you decided to talk to us here and I am sure that if you talk to your doctor they will suggest a solution. Either a pregnancy-safe med or some form of counseling.

Best of luck!!

 

[wtbmummy]

I have to say I find it VERY odd that your dr said to come off your meds asap! I was adviced to cut down (very very) slowly! I came off completely and despite the pregnancy (we were trying for 14months was unexplained secondary infertility) I was still very very sad! I took it out on my husband and threatened to leave him and was constantly shouting and snapping at our son for just being a normal toddler

It was unbareable!

I decided to go back on my meds now i am almost out of the first tri (as main development hopefully has already finished like organs etc..) but I am now on the lowest dose of Citelepram. Just 10mg. I still feel awful but Im not snapping at our toddler anymore the poor boy

I suffered with depression when I was pregnant with our son. Once our son was almost 2 I was reffered to cbt which for me was no help other than I got the correct diagnoses. I didnt have depression as I kept being told but instead I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder with traits of OCD.

Although the main route of your problems were infertility they will most certainly not disapear overnight!

If you ever want to talk in private please feel free to send me a message and hopefully we can share experiences and each grow with some understanding

 

[TennesseeGal]

Thank you both so much for the speedy reply! To wtbmummy I am having the same issues with taking my issues out on my husband. I try to explain to him that anxiety is real, and at times feels out of my control, but its hard to try and talk to someone about anxiety that has never suffered from it before. I talked to my Dr. again today and he said that immediately stopping the Lorazepams was the right thing to do and that I was going to withdraws and that it was all normal and wouldn't hurt the baby. He didn't offer to put me on anything else, so I am going to try and just deal with it and hope it works itself out of my system sooner then later. Had I known the side affect to Lorazepams I never would have started them! Lesson learned to do my research first.

 

[Wish85]

Sorry you are going through this. I too suffer anxiety and just found out I am pregnant. You have to weigh up the pro's and con's. Yes it's safer to not be on antidepressants whilst pregnant but it's also not safe to be depressed and anxious all the time either.

I believe the safest antidepressant to take while pregnant is Zoloft/Sertraline. It's still a Class C drug but it's one of the better onces to take. Talking to your Dr about this med is an option if you feel like you are not coping and need to be on something.