Its June!!!!! 20 week scan next month!!! Whos with me?

[Inoue]

Good god Sarah... This cant be right what im reading. My mind cant even imagen the process your going though now. You and Neil are being SO strong and always putting Logan first above yourself, I dont know how social cant see the purity in your heart. I truly am shocked they've done all of this so quick, doesn't seem much of an investigation on there end. Dam right you should get a second opinion from great ormand street, fight for every right you have. Surely there have got to be a neutral doctor there who can see your evidence.
It must be heartbreaking to be home without Logan sweetie, but dont you give up! Your a fab person, a fab friend and a fab mum xxx

 

[Sarahcake]

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[Scally]

They do sound awful, they didnt even give you a fair chance.
I hope the visit goes ok, give Logan a huge hug from us.
I am glad you have Neils dad support.
All my love and hugs to you x

 

[pops23]

Sarah there is nothing I can say to make the horror and pain of this situation go away, but you fight girl, you fight with everything you have to get your gorgeous little boy back, I know you will never give up. You know and we know in our heart of hearts that you have done nothing wrong, and the truth will out. That second opinion is crucial, keep us updated on what they say. Lots and lots of love xxx

 

[Sarahcake]

Thank you lady's I honestly can't tell you in words how much all if your support and your belief in me and Neil means to me, honestly people's belief in us is getting us through right now.

We've just come back from our first 2 hour supervised visit which has gone really well Logan is off 1 hourly neuro Obs now and is on 4 hourly as his condition is good, all his blood pressures and things are fab and stable and he is crying for his feeds and to be changed which as all great signs as it means his mental capabilities are all there as they should be

We just had 2 hours of cuddles and smiles, we got to feed him too. The social worker escort was actually lovely. She made the experience a whole lot less awkward as she was really chatty and lovely. She barely took any notes and she said before she left, and I quote "your both clearly loving and caring parents able to fulfil his needs, I've seen you feed him, change him and comfort him and ill be writing this in my report of your visit today" which is great, it's given me a renewed hope that it's not all doom and gloom and that people can see how much he means to us it's killed me walking out of there now mind but we have to stay strong now and just cooperate with everything they want us to do xx

 

[Inoue]

Oh sweetie, that visit sounds ALOT better than what it could of been. Hurrah for having a nice social worker supervising you, its fab thats shes writing good notes about you and Neil. It must of been so hard to walk out of the hospital but start to look forward to your next visit with Logan, when will that be?
Also fab news about his mental capabilities, sounds no different from a normal baby so bleed on the brain cant be up to much, surely you would of seen an effect by now if it was 'that' bad.
Oh im so pleased you got on well

Xxx

 

[Sarahcake]

Yeah he's acting like a normal baby, just a little bit sleepier but even that is beginning to wear off now. Just phoned to see how he is and he's having a good night, nice 100ml feed this evening with no vomiting and his Obs are all fab so I'm so bloody happy at his progress. Just need to get him home now.

On the subject of home, we've just secured ourself a 2 bedroom house closer to Neil's dad and family which we can move into whenever we are ready. Neil's dad is helping to pay for the rent on it just so were closer to him and in somewhere bigger and nicer which is amazing of him.

Back in tommorrow 10-12 to see Logan, can't wait to cuddle my little man. We have a different social worker tommorrow so were really hoping that this social worker leaves us with the same first impression as the lady today - that we are loving and capable parents. Today's visit went about 1000 times better than either of us anticipated, lets hope the guy we have tommorrow is just as nice as today's lady.

Decided to sleep in the bedroom tonight as I couldn't face seeing his empty basket last night so slept in the front room. It's breaking my heart seeing that basket open and next to me but putting it out of sight is just masking the problem in my opinion. So as stupid as it sounds, I've got a giant tigger teddy in it so it isn't empty anymore. God I'm pathetic eh!

I hope you all and you gorgeous babas are doing amazingly. I'm so sorry if I seem a bit self absorbed at the moment, it's just that I'm only able to get on in brief moments enough to say what's going on but I care deeply about you all and your babas even if I'm not showing that ATM xxx

 

[kellie_w]

You are amazing sarah. That post was full of so much positivity, im so glad that some good things are happening for you. Congratulations on your new home, that will be the fresh start for all of you when you get there and all this can be put behind you. Its so good to hear that logan is doing so well too, he is recovering so quickly... makes me think again how can the injury be recent if he already is getting better? Does the fact you have constantly taken him to the doctor with vomiting not support that this has gone on since birth? Im so glad the social worker was so nice today, I really hope that the one tomorrow is the same and they also see what perfect loving parents you both are. You are not pathetic at all, you are a mummy missing her baby and if tigger helps go for it. I cant even begin to imagine the heartache of that empty basket.

There is no way any of us would think you are self absorbed, don't even think that and definitely dont apologise! We all just want to be here for you, and support you any way we can xxx

 

[Scally]

Sarah- i agree with Kellie, i think u r amazing and your positivity in your post is incredible!

I also agree with surely the fact you have taken him to the docs so much with crying, vomiting etc supports you? If he is now getting better with treatment surely that shows its been going on for a while?

Fantastic about the house, will be such a lovely fresh start for you when this is all sorted.

x

 

[Sarahcake]

Thank you both just trying to stay strong for our son now. Somebody has to right? I'm lucky to have Neil too, his support and strength is amazing.

Amazingly, his sickness is going away now he's in hospital...so I'm asking the question today, do you think he has reflux. Now they need to think about the answer to this, because if they want to say no he doesn't, and commit to it being a symptom of the injury then they need to commit to the fact the vomiting had been going on for a long time and was medically documented on the 18th, making the birth trauma a very real possibly from their side. They can't decide it's reflux when it suits them and then use the vomiting as a symptom to throw at as when it suits them if that makes sense. Hoping they say no it's not reflux because ill have a field day with that info as it means that they are basically admitting the injury has been there longer, well within their own original parameters they set for the length of time a birth injury stays about. Does that make sense? X

 

[kellie_w]

Makes perfect sense! Is he still on gaviscon is hospital? If not, and the vomiting and spitting up isnt happening anymore then they are very likely to say he doesnt have reflux. There are tests they can do to confirm if he has or hasnt. Ill be over the moon for you if they say no he hasnt. Try and get it said in front of someone else, they can be your witness and there can be no backtracking. Good luck!! Xx

 

[Sarahcake]

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[kellie_w]

Sarah, have you ever noticed logans hands jerking up and down? That with projectile vomiting points towards a brain bleed, the jerking is called a moro seizure. If that's happened since birth, its more proof its a birth injury. I have read a site with stories of people wrongly accused of hurting their babies, trying to get anything to help you x

 

[Sarahcake]

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[pops23]

Great news hun, everything crossed for you, your so positive and doing so well, you're being much braver than I would be!

Sounds like Logan's doing so great, give him a kiss from me xxx

 

[Sarahcake]

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[Sarahcake]

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[Sarahcake]

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[Scally]

Oh no Sarah that's awful! I really do hope they can staff it tomorrow, that would be so upsetting to not see him for 2 days its hard enough going home without him.
X

 

[Sarahcake]

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