its just so hard to be excited and not skeptic

[meggabear]

I'm supposed to be around 7 weeks pregnant, and everytime i wake up in the morning I check for any blood, I'm always worried about my symptoms dissapearing and they do, and its just so hard for me to be hopeful, any sickness that dissapears worries me and when my breasts are not sore i worry al the more and check their color and size. its absolutly maddening! I go see my doctor tomorrow and I just dread it wil be bad news, a small part of me is hoping, but the bigger part of me is afraid to get attatched to heartbreak again. any adivice or stories like mine that ended happily that I could read to feel a bit better and less depressed?

 

[BrookieG]

hey hun, i had a mmc in april last year and ive found this pregnancy hard!!! I still check the loo roll when i wipe n im 20 weeks...unfortunately losing a baby takes away the innocence of pregnancy and fills it with worry...i will say though i now do have more good days than i have bad days...its so hard to try n relax n the more you're told to relax the more frustrated and stressed out you become...i had days where my symptoms disappeared hun then they hit me full whammy a few days later...this site saves me on those bad days...sending you hugs hun xx

 

[SugarKisses]

Sending you loads of hugs. Pregnancy after loss is so hard. I lost my little girl at 25 weeks and I am getting so close to that mark now....and I am petrified!
Dont have an advice, but we all understand x x

 

[Las78]

Oh hun, you're in the right place, we have all felt like this at some point, the worry never goes away unfortunately but I can promise that it gets easier as time goes on.

I lost at 17w in feb 09, I then went on to fall preg in August and bled till 18 weeks and lost a twin, I'm now 25+ and everything has been going really well (touches wood) but I still have my panic days.

As hard as it is try and keep positive, just take it a day at a time and set yourself little milestones to keep you focused on something other than just worry.

I didn't start to feel anything for this bubs till after my 20week scan. We only bought our first thing for bubs this weekend and that was a box of nappies lol. What you are feeling hun is normal and we're all here for you when you need us x

 

[meggabear]

Thank you everyone, i really really appreciate y'all writting your stories, its cheered me some I hope we all get through this with flying colors.

 

[millwallrose4]

I hope the doctor's appointment goes well for you tomorrow, I know how hard it is. I am only just 8 weeks, and everytime I feel a bit funny I check to see if my breasts are still big, and I try and avoid going to the toilet because I am so worried I am going to have miscarried again. The same happened to me in 2008 when I miscarried in Feb, got pregnant in March and had my Isabelle in November. I don't think I relaxed until I was 25 weeks, and although it was hard all you can do is try to relax as much as you can (so hard I know). Fingers crossed for you this time around.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

you are not alone and I do the same, im having an early scan tommorow - could this be an option for you, I just rang the early pregnancy unit and they didn't need a referall, just booked me in

 

[millwallrose4]

good luck tomorrow Mrs Doddy, I hope it goes well.

 

[chachadada]

hey hun, i am the same, i am just so scared and anxious that it will happen again, apart of me is so happy and wants to feel excited but i cant let the excitment out cause i am just so scared that when i do get a scan date and go in the room i will be faced with that horrific situation again and i have nightmares about it! i think its natural for us to feel mixed emotions cause we have been through alot and all love our new beans just as much. i hope u feel better soon hun! xxx

 

[lauralora]

sorry your having a rough time hunny ... think we all are

like brooke said, im also 21 weeks and i still check the loo roll ALL THE TIME, i check myself when i wake up during the night, i check my bed sheets, i check my knickers on a daily basis, i always wear a panty liner so i can easily detect the smallest trace of blood.

i had a m/c at 6 weeks in July, this pregnancy i have been beyond scared, i have lived being absolutley terrified for the past 5 months, and i have had a few scares along the way!! ... at 14 weeks i had a bleed ( it was after intercourse) and it scared me so much i cried my eyes out all the way to the a&e thinking it was over for me, but a scan showed baby was fine. Then at 19 weeks i came home and found some brown discharge in my pants, i again cried all the way to hospital where they checked my cervix and once again was given the all clear. ive had numerous water infections, thrush and BV to add on top of that, the first trimester was easy for me compared to the crap ive had in the second one! im crossing my fingers so tightly that all my scares are now over with. But in the first tri i hardly had any symptoms .... sickness came and went (but i was never sick) boobs were tender on and off , and i sufferd headaches, that was it!

if you ever need to talk you can always pm me but sadly it never gets easier, well it hasnt for me, i feel my beautiful baby move every day now, and i still worry xx