It's to late.... I've fallen apart :'(

[wtbmummy]

I think I just need to get this out. Maybe it will help maybe it wont :'( I have GAD which doesnt make this any easier.
So my baby girl was born on 26th april. She had shoulder disotia we nearly ended up in surgey n nearly lost her. Straight after.... my placenta wouldnt come away and i was preped again for emergency surgery. Luckily after a drip and a doctor pulling for 45mins it came out. I lost way to much blood and was very ill.
So yeah I nearly lost my baby girl and then me!!

We were in hospital for 4days before going home. Then i couldnt rest as inlaws flew over (they booked it whilst i was in labour i was vivid) from abroad so we HAD to see them every f$#%ing day!! I was exhausted! A week they were always around and not once did they offer to help by running the vacum round or doing the dishwasher etc.. so im exhausted n my poor husband was trying to host, look after me and our son whos 3 and keep house ok too.

Well they left n hubby went back to work. Our 3yo is nothing but a complete brat! I mean he tells me No constantly, he hits me, pushes me, argues with me, ignores me, he shouts constantly. Not talks SHOUTS! So it takes me half hour to get baby girl to sleep or longer n shes not even 4weeks old with a cold and flipping shattered!!

I just cant do this!!! What with baby girls cold she wakes every hour with sniffles in the night n then my son is a brat all day when ive had no sleep. I am crying constantly cause i just cant cope with my son. I wish he was in school full time or we had family i could give him too cause i seriously can not do this!!!! 😭😭😭😭

Ive told my husband n he says we can do it but hes not the one dealing with a child that clearly doesnt like him n tells me "just talk to him" like thanks i never thought to try that!!!

I am falling apart!!!!

 

[Smanderson]

First, big hugs to you you poor thing you must be utterly exhausted and still shell shocked after a tough birth experience it sounds like your husband is trying to be supportive but doesn't really understand how your feeling or how hard your days are.

If I were in your shoes I would speak to my gp about how I was feeling as it all sounds a bit overwhelming. Can any family help out either over night or for at least a daytime nap for you? Ask for help, people don't know you need them till you tell them....

I think your son will settle in time, it's very early days and your exhausted so it is hard for them not having lots of attention and entertainment like they have been used to. We have similar age gaps and my son was the same, i got him in nursery for extra time as he was only going one day a week and I increased him to two and a half days. It helped both of us, he was entertained and played with friends and I had down time when baby napped and spent one on one time with ds2. On the days it was the three of us I found it way easier being out and about, seeing friends, play dates, classes like boppin tots etc

Things will get easier, especially when baby starts dropping bottles and sleeping longer stretches at night. Sleep is the biggest thing that will help you cope with all the stresses and strains xxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Hang in there I've been there . It is such a shock to the system bringing no 2 home , my son had just turned 2 . His behaviour totally deteriorated . He did anything he needed to to show how he felt and to get the attention away from the baby to him , he turned into someone I didn't like very much , it was so hard dealing with him but also having those feelings ! The good news is it gets easier and things do settle down , they don't go back to want used to be " normal " but a new " normal " for everyone .it is a huge adjustment for the whole family especially your son . It's so early days just o what you need to to survive and get through each day . Offer reassurances and keep to as much of a routine with 3year old as you can .. I did the opposite , went over bars trying to compensate and spend time with him .. Drove him mad and he acted up more as he was out of his routine !!!

I now have a 3 year old and 1 year old ..yesi survived the year ... Now the 3 year old sounds exactly lime yours .... Is always disagreeable , shouts EVERYTHING , hits out .. Has major meltdowns over everything ... I think it's called being a threenager !!!!!!!!!
He pushes every one of my buttons ..... Lol..... It takes all my strength to hold it together most of the time.. If I get crosss it makes the situation worse so I try and I mean try not always successful .. To remain calm and think to myself the more upset ect he gets the quiter and calmer I should get .

Hang in there it doesn't always feel like this and does get easier

 

[dreadOHdreads]

You said you have GAD- are you being treated for it? That would be the number one priority. I have bipolar disorder and am currently expecting baby #2 (baby #1 is 4 months old!) and I know that unmedicated stressful things are damn near too much to bear.

If you are worried about breastfeeding sometimes you have to remember it is OKAY to switch to formula feeding so you can take meds to deal with your own issues. I had to stop breastfeeding around 2 weeks after I had my little boy because my moods were really unstable and I was loosing the will to live.

YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!
If you aren't taken care of everything else just feels impossible.

Hang in there and if you ever need someone to talk to message me.