itv programme about concieving over 35

[lynlouc]

Hi did any of you ladies catch the programme this evening about ttc over 35, it was definately not pro the situation and really concentrated on the negatives of the whole situation !!! So if like me you were already feeling down and wondering if it would ever happen how you feeling now ???

 

[readytogiveup]

Hi did any of you ladies catch the programme this evening about ttc over 35, it was definately not pro the situation and really concentrated on the negatives of the whole situation !!! So if like me you were already feeling down and wondering if it would ever happen how you feeling now ???

HA HA i posted one about this as well my god how depressing, i saw fert specialist and she was very positive and said egg reserve not too bad for age, am 44. dont let it get you down, dont know bout you but i have had quite few negative remarks from work collegues ets, you know what at your age, must be mad but all this has done is spur me on the more that say it the more i think stuff them x

 

[lilbump2k11]

what is wrong with having a baby when ur over 35 dammit!! its sick!

 

[sarahincanada]

LET'S ALL PROVE THEM WRONG!!!!!!

 

[lilbump2k11]

good idea, nothin wrong but an older mother xxxx

 

[Marleysgirl]

I suspect I was no fitter and more able to cope when I was 20 than now when I'm 40. I'm certainly better prepared mentally now to be a parent than I was back then.

 

[DejaEntendu]

I haven't seen it but I'll watch it on itvplayer later, I have a feeling it's one of those programs that'll piss me off.
In my opinion people should ttc when they feel they're ready ,wether that's 18 or 35 it really shouldn't matter as long as the woman herself feels ready to take on the responsibilities of having a child.

 

[sparkler1971]

i watched it and it got me down, but i'm now watchin a program on BBC3 called mums behaving badly and i feel a whole lot better!!!! i may be 40 but i'm just as healthy as i was when i had my dd at 37 and not doing half the stuff these mums on this program are doing!!

 

[Housewife83]

I caught the end of it. I'm actually not over 35 but I thought I'd watch it out of interest and now I've seen your thread I can't help butting in.

I didn't think it was really helpful because it stressed that women over 35 could have problems but didn't really explain what help is out there. Such as what the different options are. There wasn't even anything about ovulation kits or fertility awareness which can really help people.

I also thought it was vague about when the ideal time to have a baby is. The values talked about in the programme ranged from early 20's to mid 20's to before 35 so I didn't think the message was clear.

One bit that really got my goat was the implication that older mothers are less fit and able mothers because they get 'too tired'. Or that pregnancy takes too much toll. I'm a younger mother-to-be and I've been really poorly. But that must mean I'm a crap mother because I should be bouncing off the walls with good health? Oh and I'm not allowed to be tired when the babies born. I should stay up all night with the baby, spend the day painting the skirting and then go to a rave. What a load of s--t. Pregnancy can be tough or easy no matter what age you are.

The other thing that annoyed me was the implication that women are waiting to have babies because of student debt. So if you have a baby while you still have debt are you irresponsible? I don't think so!!!

I think there were some serious issues raised but they were not handled in a sensible or realistic way. I also felt sorry for the women who got their fertility results on TV!!! I know they will have signed a form to say they were happy to do this - but were they really?

 

[readyformore]

I was reading an article from the April edition of 'Ladies Home Journal' magazine.
It was all about women having babies in your 40s. This particular article focused on the benefits of having babies later in life and how much the women enjoyed it and felt that it was the right decision for them to make. It was a few pages long. It did have one small box that was entitled 'reality check' and mentioned increased chance of infertility and miscarriage. But overall, the article was encouraging and quite inspiring. Might want to search that out after watching the show!

 

[Wendyk07]

I forgot it was on. I really wanted to see it but after reading your comments i'm not so sure.

 

[Halle71]

At 40 I was quite depressed after watching it but, to be fair to the programme, a lot of the negatives were based on scientific fact and I don't think it does any harm to be aware of these so people can make informed decisions. The two bits that stuck out for me were:

1. Your eggs have been around since before you were born so they will be less healthy and more likey to have chromasomal abnormalities
I knew there would be fewer eggs but I hadn't really thought about the quality of those eggs. This is relevant because, even if you do get pregnant, you are more likely to encounter problems. Which leads me to my second shock.

2. The chance of having a baby with Downs leaps from 1:1500 at 25 to 1:300 at 35 to 1:82 at 40. Quite a sobering thought.


It's obviously not all doom and gloom though - I had my first baby at 38
I just hope that I will be able to get pregnant at 40 when we start trying later on this year.

 

[_Vicky_]

oohh I didnt watch it - would have made me too angry!!!

I got pregnant with the boys naturally in the first month of trying at 36. I think the fact that your body is in peak condition when you are younger is really the tip of the iceberg. Parenting is far more importan imo - and i know I make a better parent now at 38 than I ever would have at 20-25 or 30. Oh and I am significantly healthier too and carried twins to 38 weeks, had no syptoms at all really - not bad for an old bird!!

Just thing it takes one sperm and one egg (normally lol) this is the ONLY stage that we are at a disadvantage with, pregnancy, health choices, knowledge, experience, patience I personally am waaayyyy wayyy wayyyy ahead of the way I would have parented in my twenties.

Sending you allll lots of positive vibes - and LOTS of baby dust xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Macwooly]

I missed the program and I am so thankful reading this thread

The program is based on statistics and during my degree I learned that you can make the statistics fit whatever you want!

It would be lovely if everyone (NHS, programs, society) realised we are individuals not statistics!

 

[NorthStar]

I deliberately didn't watch it, most shows on ITV are a pile of crap anyway LOL.

Whilst I know that my eggs are older I don't accept that in general I'm less fit, I'm still a healthy BMI, have plenty of energy and WAAAY more patience than I would have had in my twenties.

I'm also from a family who live independently well into their eighties (in fact my granny was still breeding in her forties so I don't accept that I'm likely to cark it anytime soon either!

In my mind there are way too many idiotic young women breeding indiscriminately (see shows like 16 and pregnant) and if I'm fortunate enough to have a baby I'll be able to offer that child a hell of a lot more than they would.

I'm annoyed now and I didn't even WATCH the show - stupid ITV!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

It is hard when people judge you because of your age. But it happens to teenage parents everyday. I had my son when I was 16 and I was judged a lot. I just learnt to hold my head high and not feel ashamed. Yes I was 16 but I am a good mother and I am supporting him myself. As long as you know you can do it who cares what anyone else thinks. The ability to be a mother shouldn't be judged on age it should be based on how you are as a mother x

 

[Char.due.jan]

It is hard when people judge you because of your age. But it happens to teenage parents everyday. I had my son when I was 16 and I was judged a lot. I just learnt to hold my head high and not feel ashamed. Yes I was 16 but I am a good mother and I am supporting him myself. As long as you know you can do it who cares what anyone else thinks. The ability to be a mother shouldn't be judged on age it should be based on how you are as a mother x

^^ this prejudice works both ways. I had my son at 17 and often get dirty looks in the street, because I do look quite younger and it's often from women aged around 30-50 that give me those looks. Not that I'm saying anyone on here would!

Age does not define you as a mother, just do what I do and keep your heads high!

Sending lots of baby dust to you all!! xx

 

[chattyB]

I'm (hopefully) going to experiencing both sides of the coin

My first child was born when I was 18 - conceived the night I lost my virginity whilst on BCP ... and antibiotics. I had a straight forward pregnancy, very quick labour and my daughter was happy and healthy. Life in general was very tough, little money, unfinished education, unable to go to work due to childcare costs, an unstable relationship which ended when DD was 18 months old. Going without food myself so I was able to feed and clothe my baby. I loved my daughter and being a mum but I often feel that the times where I should have been enjoying her early years are marred by the memories of worry and anxiety.

I'm now in my mid thirties and am happily married to my wonderful husband. We are in the process of having his vasectomy reversed to enable us to have a child of our own. This time around, although being an "older mother", I am happy and settled in a lovely home, hubby has a very well paid career, I have the space and financial security to know that I can devote every breathing moment to raising our baby without the stress and anxiety of money worries. We have everything crossed that we will have our longed for child.

I'd much rather be a mum in the situation I'm in, in my 30's/40's than the situation I've previously been in through my 20's. I wouldn't change my daughter for the world but I wish, everyday, that I could have offered her the nicer things in life when she was younger - just as our new baby will have (if we are lucky enough to have another!)

 

[Natsby]

Isn´t it funny how there is so much negative press about people starting families later, and yet friends of mine who are the same age as me but are having their second or third child don´t see to be affected in the same way.
My Gran had my mum when she was 42 and my mum has always said that she had a much easier and more pleasant life because of it. So we do what we do, I didn´t plan to wait until my late thirtys, but it has worked out this way so I´ll just do the best with what I have and deal with the statistics as they arise.

 

[Natsby]

Just to add to that, I´m now watching misbehaving mums to be on bbc one, and I tell you ladies it isn´t us they should be worried about!! I might be a bit older but I won´t smoke 30 a day or drink two bottles of wine or eat only chips an gravy, if you felt bad after watching the other one this will make you feel like the saintliest mum on earth!