itv programme about concieving over 35

[Indigo77]

I am happy and settled in a lovely home, hubby has a very well paid career, I have the space and financial security to know that I can devote every breathing moment to raising our baby without the stress and anxiety of money worries. We have everything crossed that we will have our longed for child.

Yep....I am finally in that same place and wouldn't want it any other way...literally...We have friends from Uni who started having kids right away and are ridden with stress and anxiety over money, not to mention a list of regrets about not doing X or Y before starting a family....

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

As a young mum I don't have any regrets what so ever.I am financially secure and as for things I missed out on. All I missed out on was going out with my mates when I wanted which I really don't miss. I would rather spend a night in with my son rather than sit in a crowded bar drinking x

 

[Indigo77]

There is no need to get defensive...though since you went there.....How is it that you're INDEPENDENTLY financially secure at age 19 and just about to leave school? Just curious. Also, by missed experiences, the fact that the only thing you can think of missing is sitting at a bar with your friends...well, I won't go there...

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

There is no need to get defensive...though since you went there.....How is it that you're INDEPENDENTLY financially secure at age 19 and just about to leave school? Just curious. Also, by missed experiences, the fact that the only thing you can think of missing is sitting at a bar with your friends...well, I won't go there...

In the UK you leave school at 16. I am now a student nurse and hold down a job as an auxiliary nurse in the local hospital. I used that as an example. They also go to the cinema, trips to theme parks etc etc. But I don't feel I have missed out. I have had nights out whilst Aidan was cared for and all I did was miss him. I work hard and would rather spend time with my son. Why does that have to mean I will be regretful? No one person is the same. I still have a social life it just so happens that includes my son and going out to the parks with friends and their children having picnics etc. I was angered by the sweeping statements made about older mothers because I have had them my self as a young mother. Maybe people shouldn't generalise and stop defining the ability to be a mother on age x

 

[sarahincanada]

Im sorry but why do we have 19 year olds giving their opinion in a thread about a program on TTCing over 35, in the over 35 section on here? no-one is judging, the ladies in this section obviously are going to have a different viewpoint on this, and many of us feel much better prepared to have a baby now. we are not saying that means theres something wrong with young mums

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I started off by defending older mums, am I not allowed to have an opinion on it because it's about over 35's. My mum had me when she was 42, so in earlier posts I was defending older mums and empathising with what it is like to be judged. There has also been numerous digs at young mums in this thread. But I am not going to sit here and argue. Good luck with your TTC x

 

[sarahincanada]

am I not allowed to have an opinion on it because it's about over 35's.

well I think theres a certain message board 'common sense'...for example if in the teen mums section they were reacting to a program about bad teen mums and they were stating they would prefer to be pregnant now than when old and wrinkly, I wouldnt chime in defending being old and wrinkly as I would understand the context of the discussion.

There has also been numerous digs at young mums in this thread.

yes but its in relation to the subject, we are not randomly digging at young mums but defending our situation when faced with a negative tv program. we were all 19, 20 at some point and many feel we would not have been ready to have a child at that point. Someone else had children earlier and later in life and was discussing her points. I dont think anyone was trying to make digs at younger mums, we are the last people to judge when we know how it feels.

But I am not going to sit here and argue. Good luck with your TTC x

no argument needed, just discussing! good luck to you too

 

[Indigo77]

 

[Janie66]

it was this very programmge I stupidy watched that made me go on my knees and I sobbed,it made all this TTC come to a head with me, and I just freaked, I was already having a shitty week , it was so negative, and having been a "young" mum years ago, I remember being bloody tired all the time, I used to sleep when the babys slept, so why they came across like that I dont know, idiotic reporting I guess, was too general, oh well I am over it more now, I have picked myself up now, kinda.

 

[Desperado167]

it was this very programmge I stupidy watched that made me go on my knees and I sobbed,it made all this TTC come to a head with me, and I just freaked, I was already having a shitty week , it was so negative, and having been a "young" mum years ago, I remember being bloody tired all the time, I used to sleep when the babys slept, so why they came across like that I dont know, idiotic reporting I guess, was too general, oh well I am over it more now, I have picked myself up now, kinda.

Hope you are ok Hun,So glad I didn't watch it,seems to have had an awful effect on everyone,try not let it get u downWe will show them all,

 

[cranberry987]

I watched that programme and have to say it was the worst amount of piffle I ever watched. It was so one sided and basically seemed to be saying 'look at my old wife, shes crap and past it, lets poke fun at her' if Id have been her Id have gone mental. So shes in bed at 10.30, shes probably been up all fricking night.

We take our life as it comes, not many ppl go oh im getting a bit wrinkly, time to crack on with babies, if you dont feel/arent ready in your life then thats it.

I rly wouldnt let that crap bother you, I never watch ITV as I think its 90% crap, but this caught my interest, should have stuck to my ITV ban tbh

 

[TiggerToo]

I've never known my parents as anything BUT "older" (BTW, I'm 11 days shy of 38 and we are TTC our first, been married eleven years).

My mother was pregnant at my brother's high school graduation (with me - LOL) and was 38 - really, almost 39 - so he's 18 years older than me, my other brother is 17 years older than me, and my sister is ten years older than me.

Same parents, no divorces, no stepkids, no remarriages! Same two people. I am - and shall always be - the epitome of an oops baby in my family.

I have three great-nieces and two great-nephews, and two nephews and a niece all over the age of 30. In fact, my niece was born on my birthday in 1976! (To add to the weirdness, my sister had her kids at 36 and 38 - so I also have two nieces who are just over ten years old!)

If my dad were living (he passed away in 2005), he'd be eighty-one. My mother is seventy-six. Know when I thought they were old? About six months ago. It's just starting to hit me that my mom is SNIFFING EIGHTY. She's in respectable health for her age and certainly doesn't look it. Neither do my siblings (or me, for that matter - I still get carded if I'm not out with DH. Sometimes I'm the ONLY one who gets carded!).

Never did I feel they were old - I accepted that there were things they couldn't do but I never thought it was because they were old. (So they had arthritis - so what?) They went to school functions, football games, band competitions, chaperoned field trips....I can't think of one thing they DIDN'T do. I never heard about them being "tired" (except when they were, legitimately tired) and I never noticed anything any different about them compared to anyone else's parents.

To me, parents were SUPPOSED to be "older". I think it's so weird that DH's brother (DH is 41) is my age - even siblings, in my world, are supposed to be OLDER....

Kids don't know something's "weird" unless you tell them - and even in my case, when people would comment how ODD it was (and back then it WAS pretty odd!), all I thought was, why? What else is there?

I thought it was hilarious (even very young) when people would say something about "Grandpa" and I'd look at them and say, "That's my Daddy." (Even funnier when my niece - the one three years younger than me - would say "Grandpa" and I'd then follow up with "Daddy" - you should've seen the looks we got...the ones with Grandma/Mama were even funnier....even I think it's weird when Karen, the 35-year-old, calls my mom "Grandma".....)

And I'd also think, your parents are the same age as my BROTHER. To me THAT was weird!

So take it from someone who grew up with older parents - no one had better or more active parents than I - so your kids - OUR KIDS - will be fine. In fact, by the time THEY'RE ten, we just might be some of the youngest parents at the PTA meetings! LOL!!

 

[TiggerToo]

I started off by defending older mums, am I not allowed to have an opinion on it because it's about over 35's. My mum had me when she was 42, so in earlier posts I was defending older mums and empathising with what it is like to be judged. There has also been numerous digs at young mums in this thread. But I am not going to sit here and argue. Good luck with your TTC x

I think it's nice that a mom is sticking up for other moms - I think that's what we all should be doing, instead of tearing one another apart.

Me? If I'd had a kid at 19....wow. My mom had two by the time she was 21 (it was, though, the fifties) so if you're handling it, hats off to you. Really, you're probably juggling no more and no less than I hope to be...I'm active duty military, an officer in the USAF and a nurse, so my DH could and will eventually be left as the sole caretaker when and if I'm deployed later on.

I think a baby WILL be a huge challenge for DH and I. Unless you're fifteen (and I think everyone knows what I mean), there's not really a truly GOOD age to have a kid...we know this will be stressful (and we're talking about the after TTC!), we know it's going to be an upset, and I'm sure there will be nights I'll think, really, this is what I wanted? Really?

I know I'm new here, but I don't think she meant any harm. Pillory me if you must, but I don't think we need to attack each other. We're all stressed out enough.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I started off by defending older mums, am I not allowed to have an opinion on it because it's about over 35's. My mum had me when she was 42, so in earlier posts I was defending older mums and empathising with what it is like to be judged. There has also been numerous digs at young mums in this thread. But I am not going to sit here and argue. Good luck with your TTC x

I think it's nice that a mom is sticking up for other moms - I think that's what we all should be doing, instead of tearing one another apart.

Me? If I'd had a kid at 19....wow. My mom had two by the time she was 21 (it was, though, the fifties) so if you're handling it, hats off to you. Really, you're probably juggling no more and no less than I hope to be...I'm active duty military, an officer in the USAF and a nurse, so my DH could and will eventually be left as the sole caretaker when and if I'm deployed later on.

I think a baby WILL be a huge challenge for DH and I. Unless you're fifteen (and I think everyone knows what I mean), there's not really a truly GOOD age to have a kid...we know this will be stressful (and we're talking about the after TTC!), we know it's going to be an upset, and I'm sure there will be nights I'll think, really, this is what I wanted? Really?

I know I'm new here, but I don't think she meant any harm. Pillory me if you must, but I don't think we need to attack each other. We're all stressed out enough.

Wow that will be a lot to juggle but I am sure you will do it You sound like you will make a great mummy.

Just to add I saw earlier in the thread some women get comments about not having enough energy to run around after their children. My mum was 42 when I was born and I NEVER noticed. In fact she probably had more fun and ran round after me in the park than some of my friends mums who were much younger. She is now 62 and still keeps up with my son xx

 

[TiggerToo]

Yeah, it's all a load of crap. Tell yourself you're old and you'll be dead before you're fifty. Seriously.

And thanks for the compliment. :0)

A few days ago one of the young (she's 23) lieutenants I work with here at the military hospital told me, "I keep forgetting you're that age - I mean, you're so COOL."

AWESOME. (I am, quite often, mistaken for much younger than my age, and sometimes when I go out I act it - because I can get by with it!)

And I actually like that my parents were older - I'm sure you went through some of the things I did; I don't know if you noticed, but I'm willing to bet you THINK differently than many of your friends do. I truly think my perspective of the world is profoundly different - more grounded - because my parents were older. I'm sure that's why, at 19, you can handle your life so assuredly, and why you'll raise an exquiste little man - you may be young, but you had the benefit of absorbing YEARS of experiences more than a little ahead of your time.

Younger parents get the advantage of more energy (there's really no denying that, to a point). But age has its advantages as well. All we all want is to be stellar parents, isn't it? And we'll all bring whatever we have to our child's table, so to speak.

Now back to the thread - not trying to hijack. :0) In essence, though, that all applies to all the women/families here. Age is, in reality, but a number. And as long as you love your child, they won't care how old you are. Really, they won't even notice.

Apparently neither one of us did!