I've created a monster

[LadyHutch]

So I am mostly a babywearer/carrier...out of convenience. It works for me to just strap him on and go better than lugging around strollers and such.

However: I do occasionally need to be baby free. Like when I shower, or want to take the trash to the curb, or something similar. There are just times that, for me, I need to unhook the baby.

Problem is: If he is awake and not being held or strapped in, he flips out. I can't put him down. He loses it.

So I am starting to think I need to work on letting him down occasionally. How do I get over the screaming part and give him some independence so I can have a shower? I am starting to smell really bad.

 

[Spunky]

I only take showers when my husband is home to hold James or when he's asleep. And he's 2 months older! He does have some independednt time now, but it's unpredictable how long he'll be happy for and I don't want to risk him screaming.

 

[Neateye]

Hes still young hun... He'l soon grow out of wanting to be held all the time.
Your wee boys only known you for the last 9 months... Everything else is bewildering.
Like d previous poster i also only showered, cooked when hubby got bak from work.
x x

 

[babyjiva]

i took 5 min showers when OH held her, this was about every four days for the first 3 months…maybe even five months… ah, it does pass

 

[LadyHutch]

Hes still young hun... He'l soon grow out of wanting to be held all the time.
Your wee boys only known you for the last 9 months... Everything else is bewildering.
Like d previous poster i also only showered, cooked when hubby got bak from work.
x x

Problem is DH works easily 14-16 hours a day, and I am having a period that is like the eruption of mount vesuvius. I NEED to wash. And I can't. I am going to go insane like this. I get that he needs me and i have made a choice, and all that but today in particular, i am regretting my choice to carry him all the time. I am desperate to wash the blood off my legs with more than a washcloth or baby wipe.

Maybe this thread is just me bitching, but I am losing it here today. Baby slept all of 12 minutes last night. he is restless today and kicking me constantly, but won't let me do anything but hold him so he can kick me. I am bleeding like a stuck pig and can't give myself a decent cleaning because one arm is constantly having to pat him on the back.

I need a break before i start bawling.

 

[Kittifer]

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[wendzwoo]

I always put Poppy in her swing so she can see me while i shower. Maybe you should start putting him down for a couple of mins even if he cried to get him used to it.

 

[Mooshie]

Can you take him in the shower with you? My LO was like this for a little while and the only way I could get a shower was if I took him in with me.

I know it's not ideal, but you will at least be able to get washed

 

[Leanne27]

I always take LO in with me and just put her in her bouncy chair and did this from when she was newborn. She seems to enjoy watching me!

 

[Spunky]

Is there someone you can call to give you a break since you are having a tough day?

 

[Mooshie]

I always take LO in with me and just put her in her bouncy chair and did this from when she was newborn. She seems to enjoy watching me!

I meant in the actual shower so he gets washed with her!

 

[Neateye]

Sounds you having a tough time and are exhausted.
Dont worry, you wearing your lo is not making him clingy.
Maybe you can fill d bath a little and while carrying ur babba have a wee wash.

Is your bleeding under control. Maybe have ur hv take a look. I remember at one point bleeding excessively, all was well but my hv did check to see that all was a ok.

Ul be surprised how fast time goes by- ur lo will be more independant soon.

Could u ask ur oh to watch ur lo wen he is free so u can rest a bit and recover from the biggest life changing experience a women can have.

Stay strong hun! x U'r doing a great job...

 

[aliss]

I babywore 24/7 at that stage but you know what... if you need a shower, just have one hun. It's okay You're not dumping him off to go gamble at the casino, you just don't want to smell I remember going like 5 days without a shower in those first few weeks as I was petrified to let him cry for 5 minutes but #2 will be waiting!

 

[maddog37]

You can probably try putting him down here and there throughout the day but only a minute or 2 at a time so that he starts getting used to sensations other than being held. Even when you're not needing a shower. You can start small, lay him down next to you while he plays with a blanket or whatever, then lay him down with just your arm under him, then with you standing next to him, etc. Go at a pace that's comfortable for both of you. There will be a bit of crying and lots of soothing, but eventually he'll learn that it's okay.

Until then, maybe take a lower body only bath? at least half of you will be cleaned with more than just a wipe. When I needed a shower and my husband couldn't be around, I used to sit LO in his vibrating chair next to the shower so he can still see me. But I had to make sure he was fed and not sleepy, because the shower is apparently too overstimulating for him to fall asleep to and he'd cry. But at least I knew he was safe.

 

[LadyHutch]

I finally broke down and let him cry in his crib for 5 minutes while I shower.

Ironically, I am having my first period post partum already (partly because i ended up having to take emergency contraceptive after DH and I made a boo boo and had sex without protection). It is heavier bleeding than I had post partum. I go to the doc tomorrow, so I am sure they will be able to tell me what's up.

Just sucks, not being able to use tampons yet while bleeding like this. I am soaking thru a pad an hour and doubling up to prevent bleeding thru. My sheets got destroyed last night (lovely).

I'm having a rough day between the bleeding, a bloody earache that is killing my head, a very fussy baby that will not be made happy no matter how much he is held, changed, fed, played with, put down, talked to, burped, danced with, warmed, cooled, back rubbed, nothing. He didn't sleep a wink last night, and was convinced we needed to play all night. I am exhausted, hormonal, emotional, lonely and just frustrated. I sat and cried twice today, and am about to again.

I feel like a failure all around. My job is suffering without me being able to give it my full attention, so I have myself convinced I will get fired eventually. My whole office and everyone in it is suffering without me being able to be there. I feel trapped at home, helpless to do anything about it but cater to a baby that cannot be made happy.

I can't sleep during the day even though I am completely exhausted. And at night he won't let me sleep.

I feel awful today and want to sit and bawl. No, I don't have anyone I can call...my family is in Michigan, I live in Tennessee. We just moved here right before the baby was born so it isn't like I've been out making new friends.

I am panicking now because post partum depression is terrifying and I don't want to have it but feeling like this i am convincing myself I am doomed.

Nothing is going well today.

 

[Spunky]

Can you call and have your husband come home? Maybe just for today?

Trust me, it's rough right now, but it will get better

 

[LadyHutch]

Can you call and have your husband come home? Maybe just for today?

Trust me, it's rough right now, but it will get better

Considering he is doing both his job and mine, not really. He has been calling all day to check on me after I called him in tears tho, which is sweet. He did say he is going to do his best to make an early day of it today.


I know will get better...i just get overwhelmed and it is hard to get thru the right now.

 

[Spunky]

I comepletely understand! I cried EVERYDAY for quite a while, at least once a day. Slowly James got more and more independent and started sleeping longer and longer periods of time. People kept asking me how I was doing and I just kept saying we're in survival mode now. All I could do was try to get through each day seperately.

Even now I struggle with the occasional unstable moods day. It's hard for me without meds lately, but I'm not ready to give up breastfeeding yet. So my husband just makes sure to give me a half hour of alone time in the evening on really bad days. I go drive and get me an ice cream and pretend like I don't have a family (though I love them dearly! and can love them even more once I've had a small break).

For me some days were just spent on the couch breastfeeding as that made him happy. I would find something on tv that made me happy or a good book and only move to get food (usually) or go to the bathroom. I'm sorry you're bleeding so heavily!

Hang in there

 

[LadyHutch]

Thanks =). I think the mess down there is a big part of what is killing me today.

 

[dan-o]

From about 4 weeks old, I had some luck with putting LO in the bouncy chair next to the shower, somehow the white noise of the water running used to keep him quiet for a good 5 minutes so I could shower. I found the same thing worked with the hairdryer. xx