Ivf/Icis July/Aug Ninewells Hospital Dundee

[pcct]

ladies hope u all had a gd weekend . Chip how's ur 2ww treating u? How u feeling today h4m?
Well my af showed her face today boo hoo lol all back to normal now after my pregnancy ...

 

[Minno]

I forgot about the take note of bleeding thing. What do u think that means? I am now cd30 and af a no show. Maybe she won't arrive. PCCT, I read if u start the sniffing on cd2 your not likely to have af but if you start on cd21 then theres a possibility. Mind you I think last time during the dummy run I had a bit of bleeding and the nurses were a bit surprised as I wasn't supposed to? I dunno, I'm all confused. I don't think it matters much as long as lining thins out.
So yes H and V, scan a week tomorrow. Yikes! Just praying donor keeps up with her end of things and we will be set to go in jan. She is on short protocol which I think means that as soon as her jan af shows she will start the progynova and then it will just be a matter of days until EC and then, hopefully, fertilisation and ET.
Oh my, I am starting to feel the hope and fear all mixed in again.
V, I am feeling pretty good now. Couldn't sleep last night which I sometimes get before af so thought she would show today but nope. Defo feeling a tad hormonal lol Did another combat class yesterday and today - good stress relief. I am so addicted I think I will struggle not to do it in 2ww!! What better time though to out feet up and eat cakes!
H, how are you holding up? Xxx

 

[H4M]

Thanks Funfair. I was a lite concerned at how bloated I felt and the wind I did google it later and said it's normal too lol xx

Hey Pcct that's not very good about af! Bet with not having it so long that's rubbish 😔! I'm feeling ok this morning more normal today, yesterday felt so bloated again though, done some Xmas shopping though which was good 👍!xx

Wow Minno if doner is just on short protocol that will not be long at all!! How exciting 😊!! Just think when Christmas hits the time between that and new year flys by!! I'm sorry I don't respond much to your sniffing and about the af thing Ect I don't know nothing about the long protocol don't want you to think I'm being rude!! X

Well last night I didn't sleep great! Had a couple of horrible very weird dreams and I woke up so many times which is not like me... Don't know if it's just my mind playing games!! Xx

 

[pcct]

Yeah it does feel strange after not having it so long! And all tho my pregnancy went in quick it feels like ages ago I was first ever pregnant lol
The dreams are so normal too! And they just countine to get stranger and stranger

 

[H4M]

Bet it does!! Must be horrible getting them back again oh really !!! I didn't know that! I woke up so much with weird dreams and kept just waking xx

 

[V2R]

Hey ladies. Oh no now I'm freaked out is it not normal bleeding on the sniffer? I've got a proper period which is weird as I normally get a slight bleed for a week then my period but no I'm bleeding!!! It just says take note of bleeding I might email Anne & ask her....My headaches & throat are alot better today.

H4M- I think it would be normal to be bloated its alot your tummy has gone through & it always feels better to fart haha. Ohhh I cant wait for you 2weeks to pass it would be good to hear happy news at xmas time.

Minno- Your donor will probably start her protocol the same time as me. We might go through ET the same week all going well Do donors at Dundee pull out? I thought they were all regular egg donors? xxx

 

[H4M]

V2r I'm sorry I can't say much about your protocol as I don't have a clue what happens on that as in the bleeding Ect, hope you find out, maybe best phoning them just to check or email, glad your sore heads and throat has been better though. My stomach hasn't been as bloated today so feel a bit better there, keep getting a pain every now and again though, I keep worrying I'm a bit nervous about the 2ww if I'm honest, have a bad feeling but what's meant to be will be I suppose 😊 xx

 

[Minno]

Girls, af has arrived! Yay!! So I think the thing I read about sniffing from day 2 you're not likely to bleed but from day 21 you are likely seems right. I'm pleased cos it means lining will thin out quicker. Phew.
V, glad you're feeling better. That'd be cool if we went for ET same time. When do you think that will be in Jan?
H, the 2ww is the hardest bit of all. It's so hard to feel hopeful. But whether you do or don't it won't affect the outcome so all you can really do is keep distracted and come what may. I am excited for you!!

PCCT, periods suck! Except when we need her to arrive to thin out linings lol
Xxxx

 

[H4M]

Wooo Minno! Very happy for you 👍 bet you feel relieved now, well I had another very odd dream last night but in it I had twins !!!!! Omg I hope it's true but probably not!! It's probably just my mind working overtime as per!! Xx

 

[V2R]

Hey well all going well with my scan on 30th fingers crossed I will be sent home with my injections so my working out I would be in Friday 10th for EC? I'm just guessing. Your donor may well be injecting at the same time as me or do you think she will be earlier?

Oh your mind will be going wild good having baby dreams. How would you feel if its twins? I always say to my other half we are going to have twins since its taking so long. Twins would be amazing. Do you feel any different or just the same?

xxx

 

[H4M]

Not long at all for your scan!!!! , I would love twins I have always said since I was young I wanted twins lol, so no doubt I prob won't since I want them that much 😔 I kinda feel normal today, don't no if that's a good sign or not 😔 keep feeling like I'm away to get my periods though xx

 

[V2R]

chi mama - how are you feeling after IUI?

H-Your mind will be playing tricks with you, try & not think about it just think good thoughts. I'm telling you this & once its my turn I'll be freaking out!! I'm just hoping I dont get bad news again. I actually think I will loss the plot!! Are you off for xmas holidays? It doesnt feel like xmas I want SNOW....xx

 

[H4M]

I know my mind is 😔 I just can't wait to test... Unless it's negative!!!! Nope I'm not off at all! Only Xmas day Boxing Day and 1st and 2nd which is prob a good thing, what about you? Yes I want snow too!!!!!! Keep positive too xx

 

[H4M]

Oh my word! I feel so emotional tonight every thought in my brain is negative! For so long I have wanted this so much, and I have been let down now for 59 months I want this so much and want this to work more than anything, and in my head every thought is now negative and I'm feeling like complete shit I feel the 2ww is a lifetime and I feel I can't feel positive as I'm scared I'm let down once again! , i can't help but read tons of stuff online and I know everyone's different but reading how people have had 4, 5,6 ivf cycles and still a bfn I don't think I could possibly go through all that heart ache! And in my head now all I keep thinking is I'm never going to me a mum .
I am so sorry for my big emotional spiel, my husband is far too laid back and just keeps saying stop worrying , it'll be fine, and if not we will try again, it's great he is so positive but it irritates the life out of me sometimes as I feel he doesn't understand how I feel having to go through disappointment every month.. I'm sorry to rant... I just know you guys have all gone through this too! I think it's harder watching everyone around me being pregnant, and I'm always getting asked the question "when's your turn". Man I'm going to probably regret this in the morning but I just feel so emotional and need to get it out sorry everyone don't think it helps.. I work with children god damn you 2ww ... Sniff sniff xx

 

[pcct]

H4m before I start I'll say am so shit at writing things so i apologise in advance...

Am so sorry you are feeling the way you and vent away get it all off your chest this is the best place to do it! And all of us are here to listen and give our support to you too! I no exactly where u r coming from with all this, my oh is so laid back as well and when I was worrying and such during our cycle he would tell me not to worry to and your right at this time it feels they dont actually understand how we r feeling!!
BUT what I will say and as hard as it is when u r already feeling negative but try to pick your self back up and let your positive head shine thru ... And when u see your BFP you will look back at this and see this feeling was just a moment you were having , a moment you have when u want something so bad!!!! Which is completly normal! I hope you can pick your self back up soon xoxox

 

[H4M]

Thank you so much for your kind words Pcct. They made me a little more. I've never spoke to anyone before about all of this apart from my hubby and as I've explained he's too laid back!! I think having you all understand and someone to relate to really help. I'm praying so much for a BFP and hope in the end this all works out, it has been such a long emotional roller coaster. I really hope it's coming to an end for me and a new chapter of my life can start thank you so much xx

 

[Minno]

H, we have all had those thoughts and feelings at one time or another. Ivf heightens everything and it's just so hard to allow yourself to have a glimmer if hope when all you're used to is disappointment. But try to think that this cycle you have a really wonderful and great chance of it working, unlike all those other cycles when we try in vain naturally. The 2ww is an absolute killer and would test anyone's resolve. We are here for you and will be joining you, hopefully, very soon. I'm hoping we all have lovely news to celebrate in jan!
Stay strong!

V, dunno when donor will start but that sounds about right. I don't want to be on progynova forever though. Hope the clinic can time it all accurately!

 

[H4M]

Thank you Minno, i have calmed myself down a bit now! Trying to keep telling myself this will work.. Hoping and praying!! not long now before you are pupo too how you feeling? not long till Christmas I need to try and focus on that!! Feel so many emotions at once it's unreal... Wonder if I will have some weird dreams tonight...
Thank you all for your kind words and sorry for my outburst , off to try sleep now with some relaxing music!!
Night night xx

 

[V2R]

IVF makes your hormones go wild. It's more difficult as its something we have all thought would happen natural & unfortunatley it hasnt it definatley tests a relationship my other half does not like IVF, I think he's more scared than me. If I need a cry I do it on my own he cant find the correct words to say to make me feel better but I have to admit no words help & I'm really rubbish in telling him how I really feel about it all. Another thing I've found through my IVF journey is who my REAL friends are, I had a wide range of friends but now I would say I only have 3 good friends & even they say the most stupid things to me (they have babies) One good thing is I have become closer to my mum I only told her last xmas & she was upset at what I had been going through I wish I had told her sooner.
Anyway enough of all that.......

Xmas will be here shortly & 2014 will be a great year for us all...I'm going to keep good thoughts no point in being down when a new year is round the corner. xx

 

[pcct]

H4m

V2r- oh my gosh yeah you truly do see who ur real friends are! My best friend of 18 years was by my side until I actually started my ivf. In feb she just became distant with me and then just cut all ties with me was strange! But I later found out few weeks ago her and her now ex had been trying and nothing.. So just goes to show how all this ttc malarkey can really push r/f ships to the limit! Few other friends showed there true feelings too!!!

Can I just say this af is a killer