IVF, infertility and stress - please don't take it lightly

[Livebythesea]

Just wanted to share my story. I am 40 years old I have been TTC for 8 years. The only thing my fertility doctor was able to find at 35 was that I had a high FSH and said the chance of me getting pregnant with my own egg was slim and I needed to be aggressive about IVF. From 35 to 38 I had many artificial inseminations and two failed IVF's.

For anyone who has had IVF you know how very time consuming, exhausting and expensive the whole process is. I was working through both procedures and was up at 4:30am to drive an hour and a half for the sonograms, then off to work etc and taking care of the house, bills, dog etc. It was so stressful and they told me after the eggs were implanted that I could rest if I wanted to but there was no evidence that taking time off would get me a better result. Both IVF cycles I took the day off and was then off to my regular life. Both times BFN.

Infertility, and other problems, eroded my marriage and my husband and I were in the process of separating last fall. Also since I learned of my fertiltiy problems 5 years ago, when the economy was collapsing, I went through my first major depressive episode. I was in another depression last fall and for the first time lost my job because of it. After two months of being out of work and depressed I moved out of the house I shared with my husband. Living apart from him I had no stress, even though I was separated it was a relief because my depression was so bad - and within a month I learned that I was pregnant...a few weeks before my dreaded 40th birthday. Only now I didn't dread it and the pregnancy pulled me out of the depths of hell that is depression.

I have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that had I taken time off from work when I tried those IVF cycles that I would have had a better result. I truly believe that stress is underrated and is the reason I have not gotten pregnant for the last 8 years. I have always felt like a stressful person compared to my other friends. I always try to please everyone else and put myself last. It's a problem that I'm trying to work on.

I am almost 9 months pregnant now. My fertility doctor told me 5 years ago that even if I did get pregnant with my own egg that my chance for miscarriage (with a high FSH and therefore poor egg quality) was very high.

I am still separating from my husband although we are both SO very happy about this baby on the way.

I am sharing because I hope whoever is going through IVF, or struggling with fertility issues will take time off, if you can, and give your body time to adjust to everything going on. I don't think we realize that as women we're pulled in so many directions. We want careers but are still expected to have many hats and roles at home as well...for me it equaled a lot of stress and infertility - no question.

Anyway hugs to anyone who is TTC - it is so unfair and I wish baby dust to you all.

 

[Molae06]

 

[amytrisha]

Congratulations

 

[Briss]

very inspiring, thanks for sharing!

although I do not quite agree that high FSH means poor egg quality. as far as I know it only means that ovaries are working harder to produce more follicles compared to when we were younger which indirectly indicates a possible reduction in egg reserve (quantity not quality). for IVF clinics it means ovaries may not respond well (i.e. produce more eggs) to drug stimulation and I think sometimes these clinics are not being very honest and try to persuade women to use donor eggs so they could boost their statistics.

Totally agree re stress, no idea how to reduce stress at work but leaving job is not an answer cos no income would mean more stress on how to survive etc. I am trying not to worry too much but sometimes when I cant sleep I just know it's the stress even though I thought I was fine

 

[smurfy]

Just wanted to share my story. I am 40 years old I have been TTC for 8 years. The only thing my fertility doctor was able to find at 35 was that I had a high FSH and said the chance of me getting pregnant with my own egg was slim and I needed to be aggressive about IVF. From 35 to 38 I had many artificial inseminations and two failed IVF's.

For anyone who has had IVF you know how very time consuming, exhausting and expensive the whole process is. I was working through both procedures and was up at 4:30am to drive an hour and a half for the sonograms, then off to work etc and taking care of the house, bills, dog etc. It was so stressful and they told me after the eggs were implanted that I could rest if I wanted to but there was no evidence that taking time off would get me a better result. Both IVF cycles I took the day off and was then off to my regular life. Both times BFN.

Infertility, and other problems, eroded my marriage and my husband and I were in the process of separating last fall. Also since I learned of my fertiltiy problems 5 years ago, when the economy was collapsing, I went through my first major depressive episode. I was in another depression last fall and for the first time lost my job because of it. After two months of being out of work and depressed I moved out of the house I shared with my husband. Living apart from him I had no stress, even though I was separated it was a relief because my depression was so bad - and within a month I learned that I was pregnant...a few weeks before my dreaded 40th birthday. Only now I didn't dread it and the pregnancy pulled me out of the depths of hell that is depression.

I have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that had I taken time off from work when I tried those IVF cycles that I would have had a better result. I truly believe that stress is underrated and is the reason I have not gotten pregnant for the last 8 years. I have always felt like a stressful person compared to my other friends. I always try to please everyone else and put myself last. It's a problem that I'm trying to work on.

I am almost 9 months pregnant now. My fertility doctor told me 5 years ago that even if I did get pregnant with my own egg that my chance for miscarriage (with a high FSH and therefore poor egg quality) was very high.

I am still separating from my husband although we are both SO very happy about this baby on the way.

I am sharing because I hope whoever is going through IVF, or struggling with fertility issues will take time off, if you can, and give your body time to adjust to everything going on. I don't think we realize that as women we're pulled in so many directions. We want careers but are still expected to have many hats and roles at home as well...for me it equaled a lot of stress and infertility - no question.

Anyway hugs to anyone who is TTC - it is so unfair and I wish baby dust to you all.

Congratulations, what a story/rollercoaster for you. I totally agree us women try to do it all and our society expects this too.

Me and my husband have been through a nightmare over the 5 years, from is mum being very ill with cancer and after 2 years past away, me and my husband were the main carers, both moving jobs, new house, getting married, the new house resulted in big mortgage payments so stress from the worry of that following the economic crisis, following all of that my husband was on and off being ill with various issues and at one time we though he had prostate cancer, anyway the last year has all been good and we are very happy, even though we are not pregnant yet we have been trying for 2 years on and off with the various illnesses etc.

I am pretty sure all of the above is the reason why we haven’t conceived and my husbands sperm count is low. Any off to see the FS again in august and it looks like we are off down the route of IVF, I think I will take some time off once the egg has been put in me. When would you suggest to have the time off from your experience?

 

[Livebythesea]

very inspiring, thanks for sharing!

although I do not quite agree that high FSH means poor egg quality. as far as I know it only means that ovaries are working harder to produce more follicles compared to when we were younger which indirectly indicates a possible reduction in egg reserve (quantity not quality). for IVF clinics it means ovaries may not respond well (i.e. produce more eggs) to drug stimulation and I think sometimes these clinics are not being very honest and try to persuade women to use donor eggs so they could boost their statistics.

Totally agree re stress, no idea how to reduce stress at work but leaving job is not an answer cos no income would mean more stress on how to survive etc. I am trying not to worry too much but sometimes when I cant sleep I just know it's the stress even though I thought I was fine

I think my fertility doc, very renown, was giving me his experience. They look at your egg quality after stimulation and they're removed. My eggs were in decent shape for IVF, and I actually responded pretty well to stimulation.

I agree, how can you take time off and not be stressed. But if stress is something you know you experience, I know I have always felt that way, I think it's best to try all alternatives to having some time off, especially when spending loads on fertility treatments.

Best to you

 

[Livebythesea]

Just wanted to share my story. I am 40 years old I have been TTC for 8 years. The only thing my fertility doctor was able to find at 35 was that I had a high FSH and said the chance of me getting pregnant with my own egg was slim and I needed to be aggressive about IVF. From 35 to 38 I had many artificial inseminations and two failed IVF's.

For anyone who has had IVF you know how very time consuming, exhausting and expensive the whole process is. I was working through both procedures and was up at 4:30am to drive an hour and a half for the sonograms, then off to work etc and taking care of the house, bills, dog etc. It was so stressful and they told me after the eggs were implanted that I could rest if I wanted to but there was no evidence that taking time off would get me a better result. Both IVF cycles I took the day off and was then off to my regular life. Both times BFN.

Infertility, and other problems, eroded my marriage and my husband and I were in the process of separating last fall. Also since I learned of my fertiltiy problems 5 years ago, when the economy was collapsing, I went through my first major depressive episode. I was in another depression last fall and for the first time lost my job because of it. After two months of being out of work and depressed I moved out of the house I shared with my husband. Living apart from him I had no stress, even though I was separated it was a relief because my depression was so bad - and within a month I learned that I was pregnant...a few weeks before my dreaded 40th birthday. Only now I didn't dread it and the pregnancy pulled me out of the depths of hell that is depression.

I have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that had I taken time off from work when I tried those IVF cycles that I would have had a better result. I truly believe that stress is underrated and is the reason I have not gotten pregnant for the last 8 years. I have always felt like a stressful person compared to my other friends. I always try to please everyone else and put myself last. It's a problem that I'm trying to work on.

I am almost 9 months pregnant now. My fertility doctor told me 5 years ago that even if I did get pregnant with my own egg that my chance for miscarriage (with a high FSH and therefore poor egg quality) was very high.

I am still separating from my husband although we are both SO very happy about this baby on the way.

I am sharing because I hope whoever is going through IVF, or struggling with fertility issues will take time off, if you can, and give your body time to adjust to everything going on. I don't think we realize that as women we're pulled in so many directions. We want careers but are still expected to have many hats and roles at home as well...for me it equaled a lot of stress and infertility - no question.

Anyway hugs to anyone who is TTC - it is so unfair and I wish baby dust to you all.

Congratulations, what a story/rollercoaster for you. I totally agree us women try to do it all and our society expects this too.

Me and my husband have been through a nightmare over the 5 years, from is mum being very ill with cancer and after 2 years past away, me and my husband were the main carers, both moving jobs, new house, getting married, the new house resulted in big mortgage payments so stress from the worry of that following the economic crisis, following all of that my husband was on and off being ill with various issues and at one time we though he had prostate cancer, anyway the last year has all been good and we are very happy, even though we are not pregnant yet we have been trying for 2 years on and off with the various illnesses etc.

I am pretty sure all of the above is the reason why we haven’t conceived and my husbands sperm count is low. Any off to see the FS again in august and it looks like we are off down the route of IVF, I think I will take some time off once the egg has been put in me. When would you suggest to have the time off from your experience?

I think there is no way that all that you and DH have been through has not had an impact on your fertility as a couple. If you move forward with IVF I would DEFINITELY take the two weeks off after the embryo(s) are implanted. Let that little one relax and implant. If at all possible I would take off the couple of weeks for stimulation also, but definitely after embryos are implanted.

Best, best to you and DH

 

[smurfy]

Just wanted to share my story. I am 40 years old I have been TTC for 8 years. The only thing my fertility doctor was able to find at 35 was that I had a high FSH and said the chance of me getting pregnant with my own egg was slim and I needed to be aggressive about IVF. From 35 to 38 I had many artificial inseminations and two failed IVF's.

For anyone who has had IVF you know how very time consuming, exhausting and expensive the whole process is. I was working through both procedures and was up at 4:30am to drive an hour and a half for the sonograms, then off to work etc and taking care of the house, bills, dog etc. It was so stressful and they told me after the eggs were implanted that I could rest if I wanted to but there was no evidence that taking time off would get me a better result. Both IVF cycles I took the day off and was then off to my regular life. Both times BFN.

Infertility, and other problems, eroded my marriage and my husband and I were in the process of separating last fall. Also since I learned of my fertiltiy problems 5 years ago, when the economy was collapsing, I went through my first major depressive episode. I was in another depression last fall and for the first time lost my job because of it. After two months of being out of work and depressed I moved out of the house I shared with my husband. Living apart from him I had no stress, even though I was separated it was a relief because my depression was so bad - and within a month I learned that I was pregnant...a few weeks before my dreaded 40th birthday. Only now I didn't dread it and the pregnancy pulled me out of the depths of hell that is depression.

I have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that had I taken time off from work when I tried those IVF cycles that I would have had a better result. I truly believe that stress is underrated and is the reason I have not gotten pregnant for the last 8 years. I have always felt like a stressful person compared to my other friends. I always try to please everyone else and put myself last. It's a problem that I'm trying to work on.

I am almost 9 months pregnant now. My fertility doctor told me 5 years ago that even if I did get pregnant with my own egg that my chance for miscarriage (with a high FSH and therefore poor egg quality) was very high.

I am still separating from my husband although we are both SO very happy about this baby on the way.

I am sharing because I hope whoever is going through IVF, or struggling with fertility issues will take time off, if you can, and give your body time to adjust to everything going on. I don't think we realize that as women we're pulled in so many directions. We want careers but are still expected to have many hats and roles at home as well...for me it equaled a lot of stress and infertility - no question.

Anyway hugs to anyone who is TTC - it is so unfair and I wish baby dust to you all.

Congratulations, what a story/rollercoaster for you. I totally agree us women try to do it all and our society expects this too.

Me and my husband have been through a nightmare over the 5 years, from is mum being very ill with cancer and after 2 years past away, me and my husband were the main carers, both moving jobs, new house, getting married, the new house resulted in big mortgage payments so stress from the worry of that following the economic crisis, following all of that my husband was on and off being ill with various issues and at one time we though he had prostate cancer, anyway the last year has all been good and we are very happy, even though we are not pregnant yet we have been trying for 2 years on and off with the various illnesses etc.

I am pretty sure all of the above is the reason why we haven’t conceived and my husbands sperm count is low. Any off to see the FS again in august and it looks like we are off down the route of IVF, I think I will take some time off once the egg has been put in me. When would you suggest to have the time off from your experience?

I think there is no way that all that you and DH have been through has not had an impact on your fertility as a couple. If you move forward with IVF I would DEFINITELY take the two weeks off after the embryo(s) are implanted. Let that little one relax and implant. If at all possible I would take off the couple of weeks for stimulation also, but definitely after embryos are implanted.

Best, best to you and DH

Thank you and best of luck with your baby