January 2018 babies - 43 BFPs!

[Marriedlaydee]

I've also been doing my research and never realised the stress and worry that breastfeeding entails! I never knew of it's demand...its scared me a little but wow...the benefits!!!! I really want to give it a go...i know only one friend who had success and did it for a while year with her first and now still successful with second. She's a Muslim lady and not to be racist but feel like she has a bit more resolve to see it through but also a lot of pressure from her community I can imagine! She says she's have it no other way and loves the immunity benefits she brings her babies. That really inspired me!

My ideal picture is to breastfeed but also pump so that DH can experience this close bond too plus also help at night. I know it's important to establish breastfeeding early on and not introduce the bottle too soon so there's no confusion...im planning in going back to work after 8 months also so I have some worries over how that will work. In my ideal little world I see myself exclusively pumping so that parents and the occasional child minder can still give the important stuff.

I by no way know anything tbh! I just feel I need to keep reading and learning and hopefully with a lot of tears and no sleep this will work until at least the 6 month mark! Formula isn't the end of the world but im glad i am getting a better understanding of all of this!

Can't believe my 16 week appointment is a week on Tuesday! It's sneaking up!

I have to say apart from tiredness, aching back and legs I don't otherwise feel pregnant. I'm so excited to feel a movement and get bigger. Plus she we start to buy stuff I'll be excited we are finally accepting this

 

[Daisies11]

When I stopped last time I really beat myself up about it. I'd done all my reading and was so sure that I was going to breastfeed, and it was hard because we had no 'problems' as such, but I knew in myself I wasn't enjoying my new baby in the way I wanted to, and formula meant I could ask dh to get up in the night, or if I wanted my mum to take him for an hour while I had a nap or bath with no interruptions I could.

I still look back and part of me wonders did I try hard enough, but i look at our son and he is amazing. He's doing so well and I don't think anything would be any different if breastfeeding had continued for us.

As I said, I'm going to try again, and I truly feel like this time I will get a little further as I know what I'm doing as a mum, and it will seem less overwhelming. (I hope!)

My best advice to anyone having their first is to be gentle to yourself. It's a huge learning curve in so many respects, and its great to have plans. Just don't be upset at yourself if things don't go quite the way you wanted. I know I spent way too much time getting upset about that!

 

[Sarahcake]

Daisies, I absolutely echo your last paragraph. It's so easy to have all of these plans for what you want to do and it's also so easy to be an absolute wreck if things don't turn out the way you planned. I was gutted when I couldn't BF, absolutely heartbroken and I was really tough on myself.

And what for? My nearly 5 bottle fed child is bright, funny, and above all, healthy. That early pressure I put on myself actually was for nothing.

This time round, I'm going in with the motto whatever will be, will be. If BF doesn't work out, no big deal, move to bottles and move on. The benefits to BF are clear but your not a failure of a parent (which I really thought I was) for giving then formula

 

[London Kiwi]

As this baby will be my first I'm not sure what to expect...
I'll give BF a go but I do want to introduce the a bottle quite early on for a variety of reasons really.
* I'd like DH to be able to feed her
* I am returning to work after 5months so I can't be there to BF her (main reason really)
* For a little flexibility
I have had a lot of people speak to me about this over the past week and they all said what Daisies said - don't beat yourself up because you simply don't know what will happen.
I have quite big boobs and a friend who had a similar size said her son simply wouldn't take to them, prob thought he was being suffocated lol.
So maybe I'll be the same.
I shall just have to wait until Jan to find out. What will be will be!

Off to a wedding today, can't wait! 👰🏼

 

[Marriedlaydee]

Yes definitely important to try be open minded and not see ourselves as failures if it doesn't work out! I'd also love DH to be a part of feeding as much as possible. I'm scared witless of how anything else will get done and how going back to work after 6 or 8 months will work.

I'll definitely keep doing the research but approach it all realistically and be prepared that it's ok to switch!

 

[Sarahcake]

Kiwi, I too am a woman of gratuitous chestiness and I would definitely say that it was a contributing factor toward why it didn't work with Logan as there was just too much boob in the poor kids face and he couldn't sort his latch properly because of it so I think there is some truth in what your friend has said.

That being said, woman of all shapes and sizes manage it so maybe it was down to positioning for me and I was using positions that didn't suit the size of my chebs.

Trial and error. Pretty much parenthood in a nutshell!

 

[annio84]

I breastfed dd until she was 2. I will say I was lucky though because she took to it so easily and I know not everyone has the same experience. I would say about breastfeeding don't expect it to be easy but don't expect it to be impossible either. I had one of those packs of ready bottles just in case which I know some people say not to because you'll be tempted to use it but it was a safety net for me. I did find it frustrating that I was up in the night and dh was sleeping but then he went back to work so it did seem slightly less unfair. I pumped and let him give her a bottle from 6 weeks every so often so she was used to both and never had a problem with either. My best advice is find a breastfeeding group to go to, being around other people who were feeding just as though it's normal really helped. Also, midwives can ha e old fashioned ideas about breastfeeding, mine told me I should feed for 20 minutes every 4 hours. Once I decided to ignore them and feed as and when dd wanted it was a lot better for us. The other thing is if you've tried and it doesn't work out there's nothing wrong with that. Being a new mum is hard and being down on yourself is just going to make things harder.

 

[Marriedlaydee]

Annio thanks for sharing your experience that's so interesting!

 

[Daisies11]

Annio, I'm definitely going to get to a breastfeeding group this time, and I'm going to ask about speaking to a breastfeeding support worker before baby comes if possible.

This time I'm having my baby at the same hospital as last time, but it's not the one I'm 'supposed' to go to. If I'd gone to the normal one for our area, when I left it would have triggered a referral to the support workers and they'd have called and come to see me to offer support etc, but this never happened.

I figure knowledge is all good, so I'm going to try and get those links in place before baby comes so I know where to go for advice if I feel like I'm struggling.

 

[Sarahcake]

That's a really sensible idea, find where the help is available now rather than if the time comes to seek help. I think im going to do the same here.

Just a little update on my job situation that I was talking about a few pages ago now that you ladies were so kind as to advise me,

I start on the 17th September. I called my new ward sister tentatively to tell her im expecting and she could not have been any better with me. She's so pleased for me and can't wait for me to start to give me a massive hug. She was so sorry that I've been so nervous to call her and tell her but she assured me they can't wait for me to start and will do everything in their power to support me through the move over and within my role.

I feel as though a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I cannot wait to start now! Letter of resignation for 6 weeks notice going in tommorrow then I am out and not looking back!

Thanks again to you all for listening to me rant on about my worries and concerns

 

[London Kiwi]

Ah that's great to hear Sarah. What a relief!
I'm at the point where I need to tell my new job... I am seeing my boss next Monday - only really see him every two weeks so I think I'll need to tell him as the next time I see him after that I might be the size of a house!!

I'm nervous but hoping that all will be ok...

 

[Daisies11]

That's great Sarah, glad you got such a positive response. Enjoy when you get to the new job, it sounds like all should be good!

And good luck telling your boss London. I was so nervous to tell mine. I've only been there a year and it's a very male company and I knew it wouldn't be the best news they could expect. My boss wasn't overly gushing with congrats, although she's a bit odd at the best of times so I expected an awkward response, but I felt so much better once I'd had the conversation and could move on from thinking about it.

 

[London Kiwi]

Thanks Daisies... I just need to get it over and done with!
As I'm so new in the company I don't qualify for maternity pay so I'll be going back next summer, I'm hoping that might give me a few brownie points compared to if I took a year off.
I think I'll tell them when I see them next monday.
I'm going to be overly prepared with a plan of what they can do when I'm off and about my return etc... I think that will help them too.

I assume we might find out some more baby genders in the group this week, exciting!

 

[Sarahcake]

Thank you ladies, and thank you again for your original input. It was really playing on my mind so to have a really positive response has just taken a load off me.
It's reaffirmed my decision to move too, my current boss is still being a well, baby, about it all whereas my new boss is being amazing and she bearly knows me.

I hope it goes well for you Kiwi, it's such a nerve wracking thing to do it really is. Just keep in your mind that they cannot discriminate against you at all and if you've proven yourself in your job currently - which you obviously have as you wouldn't still be there, they arnt going to mind

I would suggest doing it sooner rather than later, I know you have until 25 weeks technically but I think in the interest of transparency it would be good to let them know

I really hope it goes well when you do decide to do that lovely x

 

[JessyG]

How long do you ladies all plan on taking off maternity leave wise. My work are shits and we only get statutory so its 6 weeks at 90% and then statutory for the remainder of the 9 months i think its around £120 a week.

I only took 9 months off with my DD but i really want to take the full year this time so am desperate to save some money for the 3 months totally unpaid!

 

[Marriedlaydee]

Jessy we are where you are too. 90% pay for first 6 weeks then statutory. Means we are panicking trying to save up as much as possible to add another 4 months onto the pay! I'll get to use my 6 weeks holiday first but I'm anticipating using half of that before baby even comes! It's a nightmare to think about but all we can do is try our best to save as much as possible!!! I wish employers did more. 6 months full pay is the very least we deserve! Other countries get a full year!

 

[mandaa1220]

lol I can't even listen to your complaints. You have no idea.

I live in the US. We get nada.

 

[JessyG]

Yeah the US is ridiculous. I want to live in Canada!

Mandaa how does it work in the US ? do you just have to have savings? Or do you have to save up annual leave?

 

[London Kiwi]

I won't get anything due to when I started my new job / fell pregnant.
So it's just the govt minuscule pay for me.
So we are saving saving saving at the moment!

I'm going to finish at Christmas and go back 4 days a week in June. I work from home quite a lot so am lucky in that respect.

 

[JessyG]

I have saved most of my annual leave so i intend to finish at 38 weeks but take 4 weeks holiday before then so plan on finishing 8th December. I only work 3 days a week though but my work is an absolute trek to get to.

I have another weeks holiday but i have to keep that incase my daughter is unwell and cant go into nursery.