Jessie's Journey

[Babylove100]

Yay that's great news!

 

[jessieles]

I need a holiday haha! Its exhausting being in work at 7.30am spending the day trying not to be sick. Ive only actually been sick three times, but every morning I just feel like im going to be sick, right up until lunchtime. no food is taking my fancy anymore and I love my food, every meal I have I force down. But my little bean is worth every minute of it, I cannot wait for my scan next week, to finally have made it to the 12 week mark will be unreal.

The rest of you still ttc, I would give anything for you to be at this stage of your journey, I really hope you get your bfp's soon!

 

[jessieles]

Rant alert:

My manager is driving me insane.

So I work in an office with 4 other girls, each of them have babies, and they all caught within 4 months of ttc. so working alongside them has been pretty hard! Theres been a lot of time where I am working alone due to maternity leave etc and ive been really accommodating, offering to work the 7.30 shift so its easier on everyone.

My boss is a really bitter twisted woman who loves nothing more than to cause drama between people. there has been times where me and the girls have not spoken because shes twisted things between us. bare in mind shes 50. pathetic!

so far, the day I told her I was pregnant, there wasn't a lot of emotion there, she knows what ive been through but was more concerned with the fact that me bein off means shes lost a staff member. then I had constant negative comments such as
'well, your still early days, I personally wouldn't tell anyone else yet'
'well you need to get through to your 12 week scan and then youll be safe'

then the day after my 9w scan, I sed 'yeh baby is all fine, moving around flapping arms and legs' and she said 'arms and legs that aren't even formed yet'.

Why would you even say that??????????

then again she said 'you need to get through the next 2 weeks now'.

then last week I told her I had a midwife apt at 3pm so would need to leave half an hour early, to which she replied well work on half an hour and well call it quits, so I looked at her puzzled and reminded her that all midwife and antenatal appts are given to us, its in our policy, we don't need to take time for them, they by law are mandatory.

now to top it all off today, she went up and told our big boss (someone who doesn't even need to be made aware of shifts, leave, holidays etc) that next Thursday is a really busy day and that I have a scan in the morning and a midwife apt in the afternoon.


omg I am livid!

 

[mirandaprice]

Yay for getting your scan moved closer!

So sorry about your manager, that's awful she's treating you like that and making those comments. Could you make a complaint about her? I dunno if that would be worth it, but she's being really unprofessional.

 

[jessieles]

I am just going to try to ignore her and not let it get to me!

I may have been hasty but I just got e-mailed a 4d scan package on offer, so I bought the voucher haha

•Precious Bundle 2 includes: 3D/4D scan, finding out the baby’s gender, reassurance check, six printed scan photos, approximately ten-minute video of the scan on a USB Stick or DVD, digital copy of images, verbal pregnancy report, hearing the baby’s heartbeat, 20-minute scan, 40-minute appointment for £59!

I cant wait to feel the baby move, Its weird not feeling pregnant isn't it, my boobs aren't really sore anymore, sickness is easing, roll on next thurs!

 

[Babylove100]

Wow that's a great deal! Who's it with??

Ah I can't wait for your scan, and don't worry about your symptons going, mine all disappeared at 10-11 weeks, the placenta is taking over so gives your body a rest! Amen for that!! x

 

[PrincessTaz]

Sounds like a fab package, you'll be counting down the days now lol.

Your manager sounds awful and clearly needs to brush up on the law! Although you don't want to complain right now I'd keep note of everything said with days and times just in case it gets worse and you feel you need to take it further x

 

[jessieles]

Its with a company called precious moments baby scans. I think ill wait and have that about 30 weeks. was off groupon!

yeh, I think when you've been through all we have, miscarriages and ttc for along time, you don't want any negative comments atall, so the girls in the office are like yaaay cant wait for your scan, which is what you want to hear, whereas she'll say, now youll have to let me know if its good or bad news next week. and its like why would I wanna hear that? aaaaaaaggggggggghhhhh! Im very hormonal at the mo haha!

 

[jessieles]

My weekend has been a bit of a downer. Had a headache from Friday til sunday, I didn't wanna take any tablets but had to give in to paracetomol, still didn't touch the headache tho.

Im doing it to myself and I know I am, I woke up Saturday in a right mood, on the edge of tears all day, I just cannot seem to get my head in a positive place where I finally accept this is happening. this is my third pregnancy and I just hope its my rainbow baby. I really hope after Thursday I will believe it. I have lost nearly all my symptoms, only my food aversions have stayed, and ive convinced myself when I have the next scan the heart will have stopped. and I know im being totally erratic but I just cant help it.

All ive wanted for 2 and a half years is to be pregnant, and now I am, im 12 weeks, ive had 2 healthy scans and I still cant let myself be happy. maybe I should have gone for the counselling!

 

[mirandaprice]

Big big

I wish I had words that would help ease your anxiety, but pregnancy after loss is a huge emotional roller coaster.

Happy 12 weeks

 

[PrincessTaz]

I'm sorry you're struggling with things. It is really hard being pregnant after a loss, that constant feeling that this is too good to be true but it does get easier as you get further along although you never truly relax cause there's always something else to worry about lol. I found for me once I gt to around 26 weeks I started to feel more confident. I would definitely say see about therapy if you think it could help, sometimes just talking through things really does help x

 

[jessieles]

Thanks girls- I really just cant wait to get tomorrow over with.

Part of me thinks, I have a little pot belly, ive had a 6 week and a 10 week scan both showing a healthy baby, the timing is perfect, and then I get too scared to think like that. I think long term ttc and pregnancy after a loss effects you so badly. But with any luck, this time tomorrow ill be happy and reassured. Then I can enjoy it!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

What you're feeling is so normal. I felt/feel exactly the same.
Even after the scans I would still worry. It does get easier and the worry gets less. But as some of the others have said, there always seems something to worry about!

Tomorrow you will see your perfect little bubba and all will be great. Looking forward to a picture. Xx

 

[jessieles]

So Baba Collins was perfect! 12 weeks 3 days exactly, due sep 12th

 

[Babylove100]

Yay! Brilliant news Jessie!! So happy for you

 

[Teeny Weeny]

What a lovely picture. Now RELAX! Lol xx
Seriously, I'm glad all is well. Try and enjoy your pregnancy lovely. Xx

 

[mirandaprice]

Yay! So happy for you!

 

[jessieles]

I feel like I'm actually enjoying my pregnancy now, ive been in a good mood ever since my scan. I feel like I can trust my gut feeling now.

Shaun went a bit crazy the other eve and we went shopping, I think he was over excited so we bought monitors, a baby swing/bouncer, and some fun bits in the Disney store

I also have started to feel a bit better nauseas wise so concentrating on eating better now.

 

[jessieles]

I think what has also helped is, ive started only looking at this forum, rather than the other groups, I had this app on my phone where every1 due in sept would chat and obviously as there are so many people in there, there has been a lot of miscarriages etc, so stayin off these has defo helped!

 

[mirandaprice]

Staying out of first tri boards helps anxiety tremendously. In due date groups it's kind of mixed, you may find them more reassuring later on, but in the beginning it can be rough.

Glad you're feeling better about your pregnancy though, big