Jokerette's BFing journey ("Breastfeeding Kenny" - 19 months)

[Jokerette]

No more bottles!!! No more bottle washing and nipple cleaning! Since my son has been really rejecting his daycare bottles of frozen breastmilk we decided to stop forcing it. I hate wasting all that frozen breasftmilk and it was heartbreaking sending him in with 5oz and having him only drink 1-2oz while fighting the whole way. That's not fair to anyone. So instead I am donating my remaining 150oz to 2 moms. One is a friend with low supply and the other is a mom who needs breastmilk for her son with spinal muscular atrophy. I'm so glad that my breastmilk will be going to such lovely homes.

As for Kenny and me, breastfeeding is going great! He may not like the bottles, but he still loves the breast. We are nursing morning and bedtime and he is still sleeping through the night completely. So we are down to those two nursing sessions plus his sippy cups of cows milk he gets during the day. I still have one week to go until his 1st birthday, but my new breastfeeding goal is 18 months unless he self weans earlier

 

[Aimee4311]

Yay! Bottles are a pain! I only occasionally express, and I don't know how exclusively bottle feeding mammas do it! Bottles are so much work!

Congratulations on bottle weaning!

 

[Dahlia2007]

You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with Kenny.

I plan to BF my second DD for 12 months, just like I did with my first. I stopped exactly on her first birthday. I remember nursing her for the last time right before we went to her party. Bittersweet.

 

[Jokerette]

You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with Kenny.

I plan to BF my second DD for 12 months, just like I did with my first. I stopped exactly on her first birthday. I remember nursing her for the last time right before we went to her party. Bittersweet.

Thanks Dahlia! Great job making it to 12 months with your 1st! Women like you were MY inspiration all along!

And thank you Aimeee!! I agree Exclusive Pumpers get my heartfelt admiration. Thats a lot of work!

 

[Jokerette]

My sons 1st birthday is Tuesday and today was his birthday party and we're still Breastfeeding morning/night and going strong!! Woohoo! 12 months baby!! I can't believe we made it this far. Next goal = 18 months unless he self weans sooner thank you ladies for everything so far

 

[Aimee4311]

Congratulations! He is so cute! I love his shirt!!

 

[CeeDee]

Happy Birthday, Kenny! What a cute, happy boy! Congrats!

 

[Jokerette]

Thank you CeeDee!!! I can't believe my baby is 1!!!

 

[Jokerette]

Kenny is doing great with his breastfeeding morning and night and his cows milk during the day. (We have been offering water in a sippy cup since 5.5 months. At first never more than a couple oucnes to help "wash down" his solids. We would give him his water with every meal of solids in case he wanted it. As he got older he drank a little more. Then, around 11.5 months we offered water all day, but switched his dinner sippy cup to 2oz of milk to get him used to the taste. He liked it, but didnt drink much at first because he had to get used to the taste. At that point he was still drinking some EBM in a bottle at daycare also. When he turned 12 months we slowly upped it to offering it all meals.)

Now we offer him sippy cups of milk with his breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and we offer sippy cups of water with his snacks and in between meals if he seems thirsty. He seems to really like cows milk and he drinks about 12 oz per day, plus he has his twice daily breastfeeding sessions. Those are an estimated 4 oz each so hes probably drinking about 20oz of milk per day.

Breastfeeding is going well. It has become an enjoyable cuddling experience once again, which is really nice! He has also become pretty flexible with his BFing times, which is great! On a normal night I will nurse him at 7:15pm before he goes to bed. But on a night when I have grad school I will BF him at 5:00pm before I leave for class and he will eat his solids dinner a little late on those nights and he goes to bed easily for my husband without needing to BF directly before bed! In the mornings I BF him between 5am-7am depending on when he wakes up, but I always put him back to sleep in his crib until about 7am. If he BF'd at 5am I do not refeed at 7am.

So, aside from those two nursing sessions each day thats pretty much it. We do have the occasional afternoon nursing session if he is really fussy, but its not common. He seems to be getting his bottom molars this week and that have been really bothering him. When he gets teeth sometimes he likes to BF more often. The past 2 nights he has also woken crying in the middle of the night, poor thing. I went in both nights and rocked him back to sleep without needing to nurse him, which is good because I dont want to get in that habit again. It's tough though because part of me would love to just BF him in the middle of the night to make him feel better, but I really really dont want to go back to feeding at night so I think I'm going to stick with just rocking him. He seems to like being rocked

 

[RaspberryK]

This is great, love reading your updates!

X

 

[Aimee4311]

I love your updates as well! The picture is cute!

 

[Jokerette]

A couple of people have asked me how we night-weaned, either in PM or on other threads, so here it is:

I fed on demand all night long for a long time.... To be honest i do think it created a bit of a habit, but at that same time I didnt mind that habit. A lot of people told me to stop feeding him in the middle of the night after 6 months, then 9 months, but I didnt listen. I figured if he was waking and he ate readily then he obviously needed either the nourishment or the comfort and as his mom I gave him that. it only took 5-10 minutes then we were both back asleep.

Around 8 months old we did the delayed response, never letting him cry totally, just gave him a bit of time to fuss, and that ended up having him drop down to only one night feed. we didnt let him cry hysterically, i just didnt run to him and scoop him up to feed him the instant he made a tiny noise. I just followed my gut and reminded myself that breastfeeding is also about comfort


HOW WE NIGHT WEANED at 11.5 MONTHS-
Eventually when we decided to totally night wean my son was 11.5 months old. I didnt really mind getting up and feeding him once around 3am, but my husband really encouraged my to night wean saying a full nights sleep for both me and my son was important. Eventually I realized he was right. So, we waited for a night that he did a really long stretch on his own, then the NEXT night we started the night weaning / sleep training. We used the delayed response method. We decided to give him 10-12 mins of crying/fussing on his own before going in to soothe him. We have a video monitor so we watched closely. We have tried straight CIO and it was just too hard for us, we also tried the no-cry solutions but that didnt work either, and the feber style seemed to confuse my son more by having constant checkins. So we sort of did something in between. I tried very hard to listen to my sons fussing and if he got hysterical my husband went in right away and soothed him without feeding or picking him up. But for the most part we tried to let him fuss on his own. I was not comfortable letting him cry hysterically to the point of choking/gagging for breath, but I was okay with trying a bit of light whining for a couple nights. We planned on having my husband go in to soothe if needed so that he wouldn't look for milk.

I was amazed. The first night he woke around 2:30am he cried/fussed for maybe 10 mins, then stopped for a few, then cried again, then stopped. the whole thing lasted maybe 45 mins off and on. My husband planned on going in to check on him if he got too upset or if he cried for too long but it never got to that. I honestly think he was ready. The next night around 3:00am we did the same thing and he cried off and on for maybe 10mins. After that night he has slept through until usually 6am most mornings!

We decided anytime after 5am I would feed him and that would be his morning feeding, but we always try to keep him in his crib until 7am. So, if he wakes to feed at 5am I feed him then put him back to sleep until he wakes up again around 7am. then I do NOT refeed him at 7am. I think this has worked really well too because my milk supply was getting very confused when some days i fed twice in the mornings sometimes once, so now he just gets the one feeding in the morning.

There have only been a few times since then that he has woken up crying in the middle of the night and now i usually know that it means something is wrong (ear infection, teething, etc). I will sometimes give him a minute to cry, or other times if hes hysterical i will go in and rub his back or rock him. But i no longer feed in the middle of the night and he no longer expects it.

 

[Jokerette]

YOU CAN DO THIS! When exhaustion sets in it just makes everything so much worse. But you are doing an AMAZING job!

First of all, give yourself small goals... for example a goal of each week. Say, "On Sunday I will decide if I'm going to breastfeed for that week, then the following Sunday reevaluate". Then no matter what dont allow yourself to quit mid-week. This is what worked for me. Eventually one week I realized I had stopped counting the Sundays.

Do you have a OH who can help you? How about friends and family? You have to do all the work with the breastfeeding but AS SOON as your baby unlatches and its time to soothe them back to sleep pass the baby off to someone else for a diaper change and let them rock them back to sleep. You can use that time to rest as much as possible until the next feeding.

Try drinking some "Sleepytime" tea. Caffeine free and safe for breastfeeding it has scents that help to relax and might help you fall asleep more quickly.

I did not co-sleep, but many women swear by it for helping them get through the early days. What I did instead was have my DH get up and go to my sons room and bring him to me in bed so i woldnt have to get up.

Can you have anyone help you a few days a week. In some cultures all the aunt and grandmothers come to help a new mom take care of the baby. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed.

And remember, your ONE JOB here is to take care of that baby and yourself. Don't even think about doing any housework, cleaning, etc until you feel more rested. All of that can wait!!

I know it might sounds crazy, but before you know it you will look back on the days of being glued to the sofa in BFing marathon and cluster feedings with fondness. I really do miss those days sometimes.

 

[Jokerette]

Just had a total breakdown. Tears streaming down my face.

My mom emailed me and told me that something I posted in a BFing group on Facebook showed up in all my friends newsfeeds and apparently my 27 year old brother called her and him and his girlfriend were creeped out by it. I didn't even say anything awkward! He thought it was weird that I am still BFing and I am just so shocked and disappointed in him. This same brother posts photos of his girlfriend in revealing tops with her boobs hanging out!!? I mean give me a break! Breasts are made for feeding! At first I was pissed, now I am upset and sad that he wasn't supportive.

I posted a status on FB that said:

"I heard a family member was creeped out by something that showed up in their news feed when I posted in a facebook BFing page. That's too bad because I thought family would support something healthy for a BABY who isn't even walking yet and still in the middle of cold and flu season. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until the age of 2 or until a baby self weans. That's what they are there for... not just for flaunting in bikinis. So disappointed "​

....and the responses I got were amazing. Both men and women, friends and family, all stepping out saying they support me and that BFing is natural, and that I shouldn't listen to the person who made me feel bad. I am still pretty upset by this... but I have to remind myself that if I put it all out there I have to be prepared for not everyone to agree with my choices... and it will only become more difiicult as kenny gets older.


UPDATE- we talked a lot and he realized he had a lot to learn abou breastfeeding. He did not know all the benefits continued past one year and he said he is glad we talked!

 

[Aimee4311]

Awww I'm sorry your brother feels that way. I'm guessing he doesn't have any kids?

I'm glad you got such a positive response from your family and friends on Facebook. It's hard knowing people you care about don't support your decisions. But you and your OH are doing what's best for Kenny, and that's all that matters!

 

[Aimee4311]

I'm already getting surprised responses of "you're still breastfeeding??"

I'm preparing myself for more surprise and less supportive responses as time goes on. It's so sad how our culture looks at breastfeeding now.

I mean, eating food isn't weird, sex isn't repulsive, having babies isn't "out if the norm". So why should FEEDING a baby be considered strange and unnatural? These are all the most natural things we do!

 

[PepsiChic]

Im sure your brother didnt mean it to be nasty. Especially if hes a good brother.

People say stupid things when they are uneducated, or given incorrect information from other people. Its most likely he doesnt realize that breastfeeding is recommended till the age of 2, or his girlfriend may have told him that its not normal to feed past 12 months, thats certinly whats happened in most cases.

I saw a poll once, where people honestly thought that breast feeding is suppose to stop between 6 and 12 months. Most of the people who replied to the poll with that response were either childless young couples, men or people over the age of 70. So it goes to show that a lot of people just dont know the correct information.

Its our job to correct it! breastfeeding till 2 is not only considered "normal" its recommended by pedaitricians all over the world. And even providing breastmilk after the age of 2 still has HUGE benefits!

You can also point out that, its the reason companies created "follow on milk" for babies 12-24 months...because if your a breastfeeding mum you would normally breastfeed during those months!

ETA: Just wanted to add that Barry has had a few glasses of "mummy milk" when hes seen ym husband pouring a bottle for Connor. So my 2yr 7month old has had breastmilk - its not directly from the breast, but I dont see an issue with him having a glass of it if he wants, though im sure if i were to put it on facebook id get some silly reactions

 

[Jokerette]

Thank you ladies! You're the best! I spoke with my brother and we had a good conversation. He is a good brother, just inexperienced and uneducated. I told him the benefits and he listened and said he had no idea! It feels good to have opened his eyes

 

[RaspberryK]

Aww I bet your brother feels awful that he upset you. Your doing a fab job.
My brother (21) told me I was cruel when I stopped the boob milk! Lol.
xx

 

[Jokerette]

Here I am nursing a walking toddler... Something DH and I said we would never do. But it just feel so natural and clearly Kenny is not ready to wean yet so we're going to continue. Did I mention he's WALKING!!?! yay so proud! Yet when he nurses he's still my baby. I cradle his head with one arm and with the other arm he likes go have one foot down and one foot on top sort of pressed against my bicep.... It's been his nursing position if choice for as long as I can remember. Oh.... And my baby is WALKING!