Jokerette's BFing journey ("Breastfeeding Kenny" - 19 months)

[Aimee4311]

How cute! Yay Kenny! When did he start walking?

 

[Jokerette]

He started over the weekend. He took his first step a few weeks ago but it was always when we were sort of guiding him. This weekend he started letting go of the furniture and walking several steps from place to place!! He's still very wobbly

 

[leos_try]

Kenny is exactly one month older than my LO. At one point I thought my LO was self weaning but we're still going strong typically 2-3 times per day. Morning and bedtime. He just got over the stomach bug so was it was up to 5-6 times, poor thing could barely keep anything down but breast milk. We're back to 2-3xs a day. It's encouraging to read others are extending BF. When he's ready, I'm sure he'll self wean.

 

[Jokerette]

Kenny is exactly one month older than my LO. At one point I thought my LO was self weaning but we're still going strong typically 2-3 times per day. Morning and bedtime. He just got over the stomach bug so was it was up to 5-6 times, poor thing could barely keep anything down but breast milk. We're back to 2-3xs a day. It's encouraging to read others are extending BF. When he's ready, I'm sure he'll self wean.

Thanks Leos_Try! Isn't it funny, there were times i thought it was self-weaning too, but Nope! So I'm glad I listened to the advice of the BnB girls here and kept offering!

 

[Jokerette]

I'm having sort of a stress moment... for a while it seemed like my son (14 months) was starting to slow down on his nursing. I thought okay great soon he wont even be interested and weaning will be easy and maybe I'll even have some "time off" before we get pregnant with #2 someday. Now, lately, he wants to nurse so badly before bed and at 5:00am to help him get through the night that I worry he'll never self wean! I worry if the time comes that I need or want to stop its going to be traumatic for him. I'm still on the fence of how long I hope to nurse... I think I always assumed he'd wean between 12-18 months... then I thought maybe 18-24 months but now I'm thinking it might be longer. Mom's who've been through it, when did you baby self-wean? Did you ever KNOW you were doing the right thing by continuing to nurse but sometimes secretly dream of the day when you would be done? I feel very torn. want to keep nursing him for the nutrients, the cuddles, and the bonding and security... but at the same time I sometimes wish i could have a little more freedom and feel a little less tethered (Isn't that interesting that I'm sometime back to feeling tethered again!) I also just can't get those last 5lbs of weight off and I don't think I'm going to be able to while breastfeeding

 

[stephie_corin]

I don't have any advice but want to say I found your thread super interesting, thanks for sharing your journey. You've done so well to get this far. My goal is at least 18 months and this is very inspiring xxx

 

[mistyscott]

DS is now nearly 19mo and pretty much self-weaned at 15mo. He started dropping daytime feeds from 11mo and stopped night feeds (but not necessarily night wakings!) around 14mo, having dropped the bedtime feed first (we did slightly encourage him to change this to a bottle of moo milk...). He then REFUSED to drop the morning feed in bed with me, but got very upset because I was losing supply fast and he just wasn't satisfied.

In the end, we had to go cold turkey with him for that morning feed and after one day he never bothered again I'm a bit sad he weaned himself off and do miss the cuddle time and the feeling that I was nourishing him (and this is after a truly horrendous start to our bf relationship) and my boobs have shrunk back to their fried egg size so ds doesn't even really eye them up anymore either!

I would do what feels, mostly, right for you and him. Sorry, not much advice but hope our story helps and, you've done AMAZINGLY to get to this stage, don't forget that.

 

[mia_leacey]

Hi Jokerette,

I must confess that I've not read your whole thread, just this last bit with regard to weaning.

My LO is nearly 17 mos and I can relate to your question. I thought he was cutting down at 15 months but he's ramped right back up again.

I've made the decision to keep going for now and have found B&B a great source of support of course, especially Tacey who's been great. It's been a difficult decision and I may review it at some date but that's my decision for now. Tacey recommended the book Mothering your Nursing Toddler which I'm making my way through so I can recommend that. Also happy to be PMed as I'm going through it and looking for support myself.

Good luck

 

[Jokerette]

Thank you!! Ill get that book!

 

[Tacey]

Ahh, thank you mia_leacey

Jokerette, in my experience, it's a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Some weeks it's great, and you're totally convinced it's right to continue, then other weeks you wonder how the heck you got into this! I almost always found Alice increased enthusiasm just before a big developmental patch, so that could be part of it.

I guarantee you, they do stop one day! Don't be afraid of putting in restrictions on duration or number of feeds though if you aren't comfortable. I'm not a big supporter of self weaning. I think it's marvellous if you can, but the mother is an important part of the partnership, and both of you have to be happy.

Have you tried any time away from him? I found Alice managed without milk just fine when I was away by around 18 months , which made me feel more relaxed about it. By the time she was 2, she'd happily spend nights away from me, then go back to nursing again when she came home.

If you do decide to wind it down, I'd suggest waiting until this current wave of enthusiasm eases off a bit. You'll both find it easier that way.

Good luck, whatever you decide! xx

 

[Jokerette]

Ahh, thank you mia_leacey

Jokerette, in my experience, it's a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Some weeks it's great, and you're totally convinced it's right to continue, then other weeks you wonder how the heck you got into this! I almost always found Alice increased enthusiasm just before a big developmental patch, so that could be part of it.

I guarantee you, they do stop one day! Don't be afraid of putting in restrictions on duration or number of feeds though if you aren't comfortable. I'm not a big supporter of self weaning. I think it's marvellous if you can, but the mother is an important part of the partnership, and both of you have to be happy.

Have you tried any time away from him? I found Alice managed without milk just fine when I was away by around 18 months , which made me feel more relaxed about it. By the time she was 2, she'd happily spend nights away from me, then go back to nursing again when she came home.

If you do decide to wind it down, I'd suggest waiting until this current wave of enthusiasm eases off a bit. You'll both find it easier that way.

Good luck, whatever you decide! xx

Right now hes nursing once in the morning and once at night. I when he was younger and taking a bottle I went away for one night away from him, but thats it. That was almost a year ago. I've been kind of afraid to go away because I have all these 'what-ifs". Like what if he refuses to nurse when I return and that acccidentally forced him to wean before he was ready. I do take a night class one night per week and on those nights I feed him at 5pm and my DH puts him to bed at 7pm and he does just fine without me because he knows I'm not home.

Thanks for your support. I wanted to let him "self wean" but at the same time I'm now thinking maybe a little gentle coaxing once I'm ready might be what works best for us. Not yet though.

what are your thoughts on me and DH going away for a weekend getaway and using that as a time to wean him? Maybe in a few months? if hes with his grandparents for the whole weekend and doesnt see me maybe that will make it easier for him?

 

[Tacey]

It varies, but for me, Alice just happily went right back to nursing after I'd been away from her. She didn't forget! On the other hand, even just knowing you can take a break when you get the chance, or on a more negative note, if you needed a hospital stay might take the pressure off. Maybe you could experiment with a babysitter for the evening and being somewhere not too far away to start with. The fact that he settles for your DH is a great sign though.

 

[Jokerette]

Okay I am feeling much better now.... turns out AF was coming and that was probably messing with my hormones and making me feel all weird. Now that AF is gone I feel a lot better about BFing and I am not longer feeling torn. I also realized that my feelings sort of popped up after I joined a FB group about extended breastfeeding. Some of the women on there are very intense and I felt sort of judged if I didnt continue to BF for like 7 years... which is past my personal comfort zone... and I think it needs to be a personal decision. So I realized I just need to take a step back and look at the present and not worry about the future. Right now BFing and working for us and I'm really enjoying the snuggles and I can tell Kenny is too. How can I stop when I see how much it comforts him at 5am.

Not to mention he really does seem quite smart for his age and I sometimes wonder if its because hes been breastfeeding for so long now So... we're gonna keep going!!!!!! No plans of weaning him anytime soon!!! I'm so glad I got past that moody funk and didnt make any rash decisions!

 

[mia_leacey]

Great

I have moments of real confliction. But am doing what you do. Just taking it one day at a time. Hugs x

 

[Aimee4311]

Great! I'm glad you're feeling better about it!

 

[CeeDee]

Glad to hear your keeping at it.

 

[Jokerette]

When I had been debating about continueing breastfeeding one thing that kept me going was knowing my son was having surgery today. I knew I wanted to be able to provide him that comfort after surgery if he needed it. I am so glas I did! He woke up groggy and the nurse suggested we not pick him up and just let him be. She said he should give him a sippy cup of water. But i told her I wanted to breastfeed him saying it would help fill his tummy and also provide comfort. But, his nurse was discouraging breastfeeding saying I should give him water instead cause its easier mad if he vomited it would be better. (I totally disagree! What could be better than breastmilk if he got sick?!) Then I was like "ummm I don't think so, but if you really dont want me to I'll wait."

Then another nurse ran over when she walked away and said "lets go! Breastfeed him now!" And helped me get him out of the crib! It was SUCH a special moment. I picked him up and then once he latched on his body immediately relaxed and he snuggled right in. I held him and nursed him on and off for hours as the anesthesia wore off. So much better than having him lay alone in a stale hospital crib with a sippy cup of water.

I could clearly see the 1st nurse was not very comfortable with breastfeeding because she kept closing the curtain around me, even though I told her she could leave it open!

Nursing him after surgery photo:

 

[Aimee4311]

Aww, look at that sweet baby! I'm glad everything went well and you were able to breastfeed him! I'm sure it helped him immensely in that confusing place! Is he still in the hospital or are y'all back at home now?

 

[Jokerette]

We're home now and he did lots of cuddling this afternoon and now he's in his crib he seems to still be very very tired!

 

[Super G]

Beautiful story. Lucky little man!