June Angel Baby Mommas Hoping for Rainbows!!

[Phantom710]

So, now that I'm out of contract, I can say what I got (keep in mind you get a bit more for twins) They've also raised certain fees (like maternity allowance for multiples and c-section fee since I had the twins)

So, 20k base fee (they split half over the pregnancy, and half at the end)
5k fee for multiples.
Med Start Fee- 250.00
Transfer Fee 500.00
Maternity Clothing 500(single) I got 750(twins) but it's raised to 1000 for twins
If You have a c-section I got 1000, I think they've raised it to 3k
They also put you in NIIIIIICCCEEEE hotels for your transfer, your screening and your match meeting.
They also pay 100.00 a day for child care for any traveling you need to do, 50.00 a week for a housekeeper at the end of your pregnancy, and lost wages for you and hubby!

Not bad really if you look at it from that side of things. And you get more if you do it again.

 

[Phantom710]

ooo and at your first screening meeting they pick you up in blacked out car witha fancy driver. Makes you feel all celeb for a bit they also pay air faie and 75.00 per person (up to two people you + support person) a day for reimbursed expenses while your traveling. We never spent the whole amount but they gave it to us anyway. The first time I took my hubby, second time I took my brother and they flew him from a different state for me.

 

[vegasbaby]

Phantom: that is really interesting. I wonder how much the agency gets paid by the parents? Do they pay for separate health insurance or do you use your own and they pay all of your out of pocket fees? I'm glad they treat you well and pay for maternity clothes and house cleaning. That alone could make it worth it! Such a wonderful gift you are giving to people who otherwise couldn't have a child of their own.

 

[Phantom710]

My parents paid roughly 160k :S The agency makes good money. Which is why I'm Indy this time. A lot of agencies prefer you to have health insurance that does not excluse surrogacy, with the twins, I didn't have that, so the parents paid for a maternity only plan for me.

 

[Meli_H]

Stef,

I love your US pic. Your little bean is so clear! Any guesses yet as to gender? Are you feeling the same cravings as with Sienna? Come on September 11th!

As far as diapers, for daytime we use Pampers/Huggies/Sams Club and Costco brands. For nighttime we use Luvs nighttime diapers. They are good for 12 hours and that’s about how long he sleeps at night;—so far, so good (I hope I didn’t just jinx myself!). Although, in the beginning, I did notice that when Xzaxier’s diapers would leak, it was because his little penis wasn’t arranged to face downward. Since I started making sure it faces downward, he has not leaked through a diaper. Then again, when he’s awake, we change his diaper every 3 hours, so maybe that helps as well? I know you guys mentioned before that you liked the Walmart brand, and I tried those in the beginning, but he leaked through those. Maybe that was before I started facing penis downward? (sounds like a yoga pose lol)

I am crossing my fingers that Sienna’s better sleep streak is back on!

Angel,

Thanks for the compliment. I still have to post Xzavier’s studio pix from last month’s session (6 months). On August 23rd we will be taking him for his 7 month pix and will include his big sister and Matthew as well. I plan to just do the 3 kids together and not the adults.

I hate how I came out. I was mad because for his baptism, I had planned to get my hair blown out in the morning at the salon. Well, with us having to decorate the morning of the baptism, that plan went out the door. All I was able to do was put hot rollers on, so that when I put my hair back into my everyday pony tail, it looked more presentable. So there I was, going to decorate the park WEARING MY ROLLERS. Going to BevMo to pick up the keg WEARING MY ROLLERS. Yes, I was THAT lady But I didn’t care because the shame of being seen wearing rollers by most people that I didn’t know, was nothing close to the shame of being seen with my hair just ‘blah’ in a ponytail..if that makes any sense.

Anywho, so when I agreed to get the portraits done (because Raul has been harassing me for years to take a family portrait), my condition was that I would be able to go to the salon to get a cut and blowout. I thought my mom would be able to come over to babysit while I did that (because anytime I get that done, we’re talking at least 2, sometimes 3 hours). Well, she couldn’t make it so I was relegated to going down the street to a Great Clips for a quick blow out. I was mad because I spent $35 (including tip) for just a blow out that I was unhappy with, and it took only an hour ..as opposed to going to the salon and spending $70 but being happy with the finished product. Anyways, nothing I can do about it now! The next time we do family portraits I will REFUSE to do them unless I can get my hair done the way I want to

No worries about being offensive with the PT comment. I agree with you and Vegas—babies do things on their own time!

speaking of car tags and license office…It was time for me to take a new Driver license pic. I received it in the mail yesterday and OMG. I HATE how I look ! I MUST lose weight. I cant wait til I stop pumping so I can take some crack or meth to kickstart the weight loss

In your state you are required to get your car inspected to renew your registration? Here we just have to mail a check or pay online lol. The only thing they may require periodically is a smog inspection certificate.

I was so sad to read about those poor neglected kids. I FUCKEN want to KILL people, and parents who neglect and abuse kids. Sorry for the language but nothing gets me more riled up than stories like this Bless you for helping to make their lives better. I would be a wreck to be around them and would want to take them home with me.

Vegas,

That’s awesome that Charlotte already knows so much! What a smartie pants. She’s definitely getting a leg up on school. Heck, even I feel like sometimes I can’t count to 100 LOL

LOL at blaming me for your paranoia. Sorry about that, but Ben can thank me later. Oh, and I am definitely sending AF vibes your way, I’m sure she will show her face soon.

Jasmine,

You’re back!!!!!!

Congrats on your new job. Sounds like a good fit and that you’re really enjoying it! Isn’t it funny how it happens… you go for it not thinking you would get it, and you did! It’s meant to be.

Who cares about changing Astrid’s name. You’re her momma-you can do what you want as she doesn’t know any better, anyways! I’m sure she can kid you about it as an adult, but hey, we need stuff to give our parents a ribbing about, right?

Wow..it sounds like you were going through PND. So sorry you had to go through that; I wish you would have logged on here and we would have been here for you

Yes, you MUST post pix of the girls since you aren’t currently on fb.

Phantom,

I definitely remember you! It is wonderful that you do what you do. You make people’s dreams come true

AFM,

We weren’t able to go camping, a spot big enough for the RV didn’t open up. BOO! We did drive down and spent the day there; arrived around 11am and left at 9pm. We hung out with my family and went to the beach for a couple of hours. It was a nice break from the infernal heat at home. Raul won this year but next year, it’s back onto regularly scheduled programming (camping and sleeping in a tent for 4 nights!)

Raul and I were doing better but now we are dealing with some other issues. In addition to our full time jobs, for the last 3 years, Raul and I have owned a business (50%) along with my dad (25%) and my brother (25%). Well, there’s been some tension lately because my dad wants to get more involved now, when the agreement was that Raul and I would run it completely and they would be silent partners. Raul thinks that I am always on the side of my family and not his side. It’s just truly difficult blending business and family (and I know they always say to never do that, but we promised we would never let this happen..but here we are!).

So I am at the point that I need to talk to my dad and ask him to back off and let us just do this. It’s not worth my relationship with Raul nor is it worth ruining the relationship between Raul, my dad and brother (it’s pretty frayed at this point, I don’t think it can ever be the same that it was, but it can get worse and that’s what I want to avoid). So this is really stressing me out atm. I am afraid my dad will get angry and resentful with me because I know this will hurt his feelings…but it has to be done. Raul and I can’t even have a conversation about the business, make decisions, etc because it just leads to a huge fight. And it’s getting harder and harder to move past those fights

On a sad note, Nurse Pedro died yesterday IDK if you recall me mentioning him and request for prayers on Xzavier’s fb page a few months ago? Anyways, he was 45 years old and had a teenage daughter. He was Xzavier’s nurse for his first days in the NICU (and after as well) and he was also in the delivery room when Xzavier was born. He was a great nurse and person and will be missed…Too young to die!

Now for some good news finally! My co-worker just announced her pregnancy. I KNEW IT! I'm so excited for her and she was always so supportive throughout my pregnancy and the NICU. I’ve been on bump watch with her since I came back to work because she just got married last November and I knew she wanted to start a family soon. She is due March 3 and in four weeks she plans to find out the gender. I’m hoping for a boy so I can pass along all my stuff! Even if she has a girl, there’s lots of stuff I plan to give her that’s gender neutral…boppy, bumbo, swing, rock n play, bouncer, infant car seat and stroller and 3 bases, changing pad and 3 covers for it, crib wedges, pumping bras, travel bed…..she is gonna score

 

[angel2010]

Phantom, I can't believe how much they pay you. And my heart hurts for those people that have to pay $160,000 to have a baby, when there are so many people that it happens so easily for. I hope you don't mind me asking you so many questions. Surrogacy is something I have thought about for a couple of years now and I think once I am able to lose this weight I may seriously consider. When you put fees up there, are those fees you had to pay? Also, any tips on how to properly answer the questions to be accepted for that part? As for going solo, how did you go about that? How are you making sure they pay you and pay for the medical part of it and what not? I know you can have them sign a contract, but sometimes people still don't really go by that, if you know what I mean.

 

[vegasbaby]

Phantom: seeing that amount makes me so grateful that I could carry my own children.

Meli: I am so sorry to hear about Nurse Pedro. So, so, sad. I'm also sorry to hear about the tension in your family. That's the last thing you need. Please don't go to extremes if you want to lose weight. No one looks good in their ID photo. The DMV has the worst lighting in the world. I had my last license photo taken when I was 34 weeks pregnant with Grace (because I changed my name to my married name). I look like a hot mess. Whatever. And no, we don't have inspections here. We had emissions only inspections in Las Vegas, but full car inspections in Memphis.

AFM: no af yet, but also no +hpt. Probs too early for accurate testing, but it's giving me hope that af is around the corner.m

 

[angel2010]

Meli, sorry about the family business drama. It sucks when things like that happen and you get stuck in the middle where no matter what someone will be mad. I am sorry to hear about Pedro, I do remember you talking about him. But yay for your coworker!
Sorry you didn't get to get your hair done. I hate taking family pictures. I did love the maternity ones though. I always feel like I look great pregnant. And by the way, if you get a hold of some weight loss jump start drugs, send them my way!!!
Speaking of pumping, is Xzavier still picky on only wanting fresher milk? How long do you think you will pump for? My mil asked me today how long I would keep breastfeeding. I told her until at least 12 months. She said she figured I would stop at 6 months, and that she had never seen anyone go as long as I have.

 

[Phantom710]

Phantom, I can't believe how much they pay you. And my heart hurts for those people that have to pay $160,000 to have a baby, when there are so many people that it happens so easily for. I hope you don't mind me asking you so many questions. Surrogacy is something I have thought about for a couple of years now and I think once I am able to lose this weight I may seriously consider. When you put fees up there, are those fees you had to pay? Also, any tips on how to properly answer the questions to be accepted for that part? As for going solo, how did you go about that? How are you making sure they pay you and pay for the medical part of it and what not? I know you can have them sign a contract, but sometimes people still don't really go by that, if you know what I mean.

It's so insane, and one of the reasons I chose to go Indy, my last IPs had the money to spare, but soooo many don't. The state I live in is prety strict and basically makes you accept compensation from what I've heard, unless you are doing it for family. When I first looked into it, I had NO idea that surros made money, than the agency mailed me a paper of what to expect and it blew my mind.

I Love love love chatting about surrogacy, anyone is welcome to message me/pm me etc anytime. surrogacy should never cost the surro anything.

I decided this time to "help" my purchasing a slightly more expensive insurance for myself that covers a surro pregnancy, so they only have to pay for the parts it doesn't cover and the final 20%. So that is a cost I'm.. "eating". Last time, I didn't have a good insurance, so the parents also had to pay for a separate maternity policy for me.

f you go with an agency, they have all the money you will get laid out. Non-negotiable, take it or don't work with them. When you are Indy, you have to decide what you are comfortable with asking and what fees you want. Maybe getting maternity clothes allowance isn't important but you REALLY want a fee for something else. You know?

Going Indy takes a little more footwork. there are several pages online that are basically like a classifieds sections for Intended Parents. They'll put a mini-ad on what they are looking for and what they are willing to pay. They usually tell you a bit about themselves. You email, chat, see if you hit it off and agree on things, and then meet. I actually met through my previous lawyer. He knew a couple who was looking and he knew I was too.

A lot of surros that go Indy, have Escrow Agencies required. So the IPs deposit the money upfront into the account and the escrow agency pays you. I am just trusting my IPs. So far they have been o top of any bills we've gotten. You DO still sign a contract and make sure you have a great lawyer just IN CASE things go bad. I've only ever heard a few stories like that though and I know probably a hundred or so surros.

If you want to look more into it, feel free to add me on Facebook. here. I'm on a smaller (and a few bigger ones) surro support groups for people looking into it. A few of us "experienced" ones try to help out as best as possible.

 

[Meli_H]

Vegas,

I sincerely doubt YOU look like a hot mess in any photo I liked the way I came out in my last photo 10 years ago. It seems like this new photo is WAY too close up…..YUCK

OK just kidding. I’m too much of a chicken/scaredy cat to go to that extreme and break the law. Not to mention I would be that 1% of the population that gets addicted the first time they use an illegal substance.

Sending more af vibes your way but like you said, I know she's just around the corner.

Angel,

ha ha if I do find some stuff that works, IDK if I could send it by mail because I could get arrested for sending illegal drugs Using the post office to deliver illegal drugs and crossing state lines is a federal offense lol.

Xzavier is still picky about his milk but I finally stumbled upon the perfect solution. I have 3 sets of frozen milk. 1 set is milk that was frozen since Feb 1 (This is milk that I have been pumping since Xzavier was discharged; meaning it didn’t get taken around on rides from work to NICU, NICU to home and freezer, which I suspect may have caused flavor issues). Meaning this milk went straight from my boobs to the freezer.

The second set is milk that I have pumped recently. The oldest milk that’s there is dated June 26 because I’ve been using daily as I need it.

The third set is freshly pumped milk that’s not frozen. I pump 5x a day. My first morning pump yields (2) 2 ounce bottles. Each pump after that yields 2 ounces/1 full bottle combined. I freeze 3 fresh bottles and keep 3 fresh bottles in the fridge.

Each night I mix the bottles for the next day. I mix 1/3 of the February frozen stash, 1/3 of the June frozen stash, and 1/3 of the fresh pumped milk. And that’s my magic concoction

He ends up getting 3-4 bottles a day of pumped milk, and 3-4 bottles of formula per 24 hours.

I plan to pump until at least his birthday (9/27) but would like to pump longer if possible. It’s just difficult because I have to lug all my supplies and the pump on the train (and the pump is heavy because I am renting a hospital pump). I also have to lug a thermal bag with an ice pack to bring the milk home with me at the end of the day. Then I have my regular purse (which always seems overloaded and heavy!) and then sometimes I have an extra bag to bring home my online purchases (that I have delivered to work so that Raul is none the wiser LOL! ) So sometimes I am carrying 4 bags. Literally I am the bag lady.

Not to mention that once students come back to school in 2 weeks it will get much crazier around here for all of us and it may be more of a hassle to find a vacant room to pump in, etc etc. BUT I would love to pump maybe till his gestational due date of January 25, because his ped already told me he recommends Xzavier stay on formula and breastmilk until then….

When your MIL made that comment, was she giving you a hard time? She BETTER have been proud of you!!

 

[angel2010]

Phantom, I sent you a friend request. Is it hard to get approved when going through an agency? I am a little worried that I wouldn't even be accepted. I have had issues in both pregnancies with my babies being SGA and I have MTHFR (a clotting thing) and hypothyroidism. I also took progesterone for my whole pregnancy last time. I have also heard you have to be okay with terminating, should the parents decide to due to medical issues like Downs.

Meli, You go through so much to make the perfect concoction for him!! What a nice mommy you are! That would be great for you to make it to his due date. I can't imagine how hard it would be to pump full time and at work no less. You are doing such a great job! As for the drugs, I think I may try something like Hydroxycut after Emma is done nursing. Anyone tried it? As for Jeff's mom, she wasn't necessarily being smart, she literally was surprised I was still bf. She certainly wouldn't be proud, probably thinks I am a hippy weirdo holding my kids back, but knows better than to say anything!

 

[StefNJunk]

Meli, no gender guesses yet! Not having the same cravings either. With Sienna I wanted a lot of sweet stuff and junk, this time I don't want much sweet stuff at all. With her steak and coffee turned me off, this time around nothing really does, there's just certain things I don't want (coffee with Sienna made me nauseous). I'm craving chicken and rice a lot this time. The nausea stuff is the same though, and my skin broke out both times... so it's hard to guess going on old wive's tales. I don't think we'll be finding out on the 11th. My midwife said the next u/s will be at 20 weeks, and Blake isn't being impatient with me, so we probably won't be doing a private u/s to find out this time. Booooo! I don't want to wait!

I'm kind of hoping for a girl. Think it would be awesome for Sienna to have a sister so close in age. Plus I know nothing about boys, and we'd have to buy everything for a boy.

We've been using the Luvs nighttime diapers, too, which are the ones she's leaking through, unfortunately! We ended up calling it quits on the Walmart diapers; they worked well for her pee, but her poops always leaked through. And lmao @ penis facing downward! It DOES sound like a yoga pose.

Sucks you didn't get to go camping, but glad you enjoyed the day!

I hope things work out with your family and the business. And so sorry to hear about Nurse Pedro!

Vegas, any sign of af?

Angel, Blake's family is surprised I'm still BFing, too. His mom actually said Sienna is happier getting some formula supplemented because her belly is more full now.

 

[vegasbaby]

Angel: I wouldn't bother with supplements like hydroxycut. Load the My Fitness Pal app and start recording what you eat. I'm following a modified Paleo diet and feel really good plus I have more energy when I stick to it. With these kids we need all the energy we can get!

Meli: you really do go to a lot of effort to produce and put together Xzavier's bottles. Kudos for keeping up the pumping. I wish I was still doing it. It was a relaxing break from worm and my boobs looked great!

Stef: I tried guessing the gender my whole pregnancy and while the pregnancy was different from the first the outcome was the same. On the other hand my girls could not be more different from one another.

AFM: no AF, but no bfp either. Just waiting for something to happen. Wonder if my OB will give me something to jump-start it so we can get this IUD in.

Gracie is eight months old today. Pretty sure she is now saying "bye-bye" in addition to the occasional "da-da" and "ma-ma". Charlotte was a very late talker so this has been a fun surprise.

 

[StefNJunk]

Vegas, every time I think about the little peanut, I think "she" or "her," but I'm not sure if that's because I'm used to that from Sienna. I'm just hoping this one is as calm and happy as Sienna is (maybe with better sleep habits? FX!)

Hope AF comes soon!

I'm still waiting on mama over here... Blake said she said it once with him but refused to do it again for me, lol. She's been saying dada for 3 months now, and baba, and a few other random things.

AFM, Sienna is still waking up constantly at night. Haven't been getting more than 2 1/2 hours of sleep at a time, 3 if I'm really lucky. So exhausted. And was reminded this morning of something I forgot about when I was pregnant with her. Right around this same time in the pregnancy... hitting my gag reflex actually made me dry heave bad. It happened for the first time this morning, ugh. Feeling like I could puke at any moment... wonder why this happens right at the end of first tri for me?

 

[Phantom710]

angel-- I probably added you, I had a spam of people add me, send me a pm and we'll chat

 

[angel2010]

Stef, sorry you have started feeling sick and sorry Sienna's still not sleeping well. Emma gave us a night last week where she got up 5 times. Even though she still gets up 1-2 times a night, 5 is brutal! We had already forgotten what it was like!

Vegas, I used myfitpal when I lost weight for my wedding and I really liked tracking. I plan to use it again, but was thinking a supplement, might help jump start it, or help me when I get to plateaus.
Yay for Gracie talking a bit! I think Emma has said mama to me, but nothing consistent yet.

 

[vegasbaby]

Stef: I remember you talking about your gag reflex last time. Hopefully all the yucky preggo stuff will pass quickly. Sorry Sienna isn't letting you sleep.

Angel: I've never used diet supplements, just regular vitamins. I've been lazy about using my fitness pal lately and need to start tracking again. I cheat so bad when I don't write it all down.

AFM: still no AF. Took another test and still negative. Btw, these tests I've been using expired about nine months ago. Perhaps I should buy some fresh ones, but I really don't feel pregnant at all.

 

[StefNJunk]

Angel, waking 5 times IS brutal! 1-2 times still sucks, but it's a HUGE break from 5-6.

Vegas, I would definitely get new tests. Age can make them more likely to show false negatives because the chemical that detects HCG becomes weaker.

AFM, so I'm not sure if she's finally breaking out of the waking many, many times at night or what. A few nights she's woken up 2 times, a few nights 3 times. When it's twice, the first time is usually before we go to bed, so I only end up getting woken up once. Would be great... except Saturday night when this happened, it took TWO HOURS to get her back to bed. She fell asleep in my arms just fine, but every time I set her down in her crib, she woke back up. I think she's also transitioning to two longer naps during the day instead of three short ones, so that could be changing her night sleep. Fingers crossed it continues to improve!

Currently trying to convince Blake to agree to a private gender ultrasound at 16 weeks so I don't have to wait until the midwife does one at 20. He's being unusually patient lately and doesn't want to pay for one when we can wait and do it at 20. Boooooo. Still working on him... Found another private ultrasound place here that has an amazing package --

• 10 to 15 Minute Session
• DVD of the Entire Session - set to our music or yours
• CD - as many pictures as we can get
• Printed Sample Pictures
• Gender Check (must be at least 16 weeks)
• Sneak Peek in 4D
• Video Streaming - for Internet viewing of your session
• $50 Discount on your Deluxe 4D Package
• Free REDO if baby is hiding

It's $75, but there's a $15 coupon. I think it's an awesome package for $60! We paid $60 at another place when we did Sienna's gender ultrasound and only got 2 prints, no CD, no DVD, no video streaming, no discount on future packages...

 

[vegasbaby]

Stef: I'm glad Sienna's sleep is improving a bit. Hopefully she'll fall back to sleep faster in the future. Charlotte was like that as a baby. She was a great sleeper, but if she woke it took forever to get her back down.

The price for the scan sounds awesome. Can they guarantee accuracy that early?

AFM: it's here! AF has finally arrived. Day 40. Wtf? How did I ever get pregnant with such a screwy cycle. IUD appointment is set for next Tuesday.

 

[StefNJunk]

They guarantee that if they can't be close to positive of the results that they will have you come back at a later date. We had Sienna's gender scan done at just over 16 weeks and the tech said she was 100% positive. She got a good angle and it was super clear. I'm still debating... I really want to do it... but I'm also really cheap and saving the $60 and just waiting the extra few weeks is appealing, too, lol.

Yay for AF!