Just gotta vent...

[genkigemini]

I love all you girls and I hope I do not offend anyone but I am just going to type out how I am feeling...

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HATE FUCKING WAITING!!!!! I want AF to come naturally! Do you know how F-ing hard it is to have one cycle to everyone elses 2-3?! I hate it.

So I take 10 days of Provera and wait wait wait for AF, then I wait until day 5 to take Clomid for 5 days and wait wait wait for my sonogram and post coital on day 13 only to find out that I am not going to O yet again! Then I have to wait and wait and wait and wait till cd34 to take a pregnancy test that I already know is negative and wait a day or so for the results. Then I get new prescriptions and start all over again!

This month because of work, I was not not even able to pick up my Provera until cd41, I took it for 10days and now I am waiting again on cd 52. THIS SUCKS!!!

With this being my last month on Clomid and never having O'ed once... EVER, I am really worried what the future will hold for us. I am not giving up and will continue with different treatment but just what those treatments are, I have no idea.

I just want it to be easy.

About 5,000,000 people have asked me why I do not just get an egg donor and although I have no problem with that for other people, that is not what I want. Jack and I both agree that if we can't this with both of our genetics, then we will probably just be happy as a family of two. We will see though.

I am just feeling really frustrated right now and that is why I am not posting as much. If you read all this,. thanks. I just needed to get it off my chest.

 

[chefamy1122]

Vent away sweetie... I am on cd 60...something. I stopped tracking a week or so ago... guess I should update my calender soon.
I wish I could say something that would magically make it all better. Just know I am here whenever you want to vent!

 

[genkigemini]

 

[vickie83]

for you chick, hope it felt cathartic to get it all out. I have no advice to offer (I'm on CD 9million and 12 lol) but just wanted you to know there are people who understand

 

[loopylew]

 

[polo_princess]

Aww hun it must be frustrating to have to keep going through these ridiculously long cycles. It seemed as though it was working at first eh

Have the docs decided on a plan of action yet if this last cycle of Clomid doesnt make you O?

 

[FJL]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time hun, the waiting really is torture...always waiting and it sucks! You vent away!

As for the people saying 'just get an egg donor' they're just proving their ignorance towards IF because if clomid isn't the answer, there are other avenues such as IVF, especially with IVM on the up and up. And aside from that, how the hell would they feel if they had to use another womans egg? I'm the same as you, if DH and I can't have children together, half me and half him than it will just be the 2 of us.

I wish I could wave a wand and take all this crap away and make you pregnant instantly because thats what you deserve. I wish I could tell you that 'it'll happen' but I can't read the future. All I can say is that as shit as this road is, there are options out there and I hope that one day soon it will help to give you the baby you truly deserve.



If you EVER need to talk, please PM me, or we can organise an MSN chat.

 

[Suz]

 

[genkigemini]

Thanks ladies for the support! I feel a lot better now.

If Clomid doesn't work, I am off to a new doctor and will have to discuss further treatments with that person. We will see how it goes.

Love ya all!

 

[jacky24]

Hey hun, im so sorry you feel this way....

Yet again i am also falling apart with you, but we will keep our heads up and continue our journey to our ....

Please never give up hope and place your faith in a higher power above....

 

[Sinead]

Glad you're feeling better
Hope you work out what is the right treatment for you.
Good luck on your journey

 

[lola]

Not sure what to say but didn't want to read and run. The waiting and the unknown is bloody hard to stomach, I really hope a new doctor can offer you further guidance and support, but in the mean time vent away it definitely is cathartic

 

[maz]

Glad to hear your feeling a bit better hun. I don't really know what to say but I'll send you a huuuuuuugggge instead.

xx

 

[genkigemini]

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I have traded a pure TTC obsession to a Weight Watchers and TTC obsession and I find it to be healthy! YAY! I still have weak moments like the other day but I am good now.

Just waiting for AF and we can start all over. (Come on Provera... start working! LOL )