Just need a rant about oh!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by chocolate, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    Im so cross :growlmad: and I dont think the crazy horomones help that much either!

    Very briefly: I basically look after ds 24/7 and get up in the night every time about 5 or 6 times a night, Ive had about 2 lay ins till 8am, one of which was on my birthday and I had to beg for it! Oh goes to work and helps do the cleaning, I generally do the washing, childcare, shopping, cooking.
    I have been out once in 18 months for 2 hours of an evening whilst my mum babysat (ds is 18 months and doesnt settle well for others at night, and oh looses all patience so I dont trust him to look after him at night whilst Im out) my oh goes out every couple of weeks for an evening and quite often pops to his dads for a couple of hours every weekend on his own ...... so gets a lot of time on his own and not much time with ds.

    Anyway he has already had his works do but they finnished today and were all going for a drink after work. I said fine but make it one and then soft drinks so you can drive home and be back for dinner at 5 - he agree's.
    Then I ring him at 2pm and he says hes already had 2 pints and will get a lift home and should be back by 5pm. He actually comes in at 4pm but is obviously pissed, and falls asleep on sofa so I make him go up to bed.

    Im just so cross as he knew I wanted him to come home, I am on hols. and have been stuck in with ds for 3 days and could have done with some company - I dont get a break so why should he get so many? :growlmad:

    Ive calmed down now but have burst into tears a couple of times which I NEVER do ..... just feeling like I always get the raw deal. God knows how I will cope with a 2 yr old who is a Mummies boy, an oh who thinks his needs are most important and a newborn!


    Just needed a moan ..... I know there is no solution or answers ...... just feels better to let it out - think Id cancel xmas this year if it wasnt for my ds
     
  2. Nats21

    Nats21 Well-Known Member

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    Aw sorry it's not going well for you, its sounds like hes being quite inconsiderate, have you talked to him about it? :hugs: x
     
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    Hee Hee reading that back it doesnt sound like there is much to be annoyed about really!!


    Just cross because we agreed one thing and he did the other ......
     
  4. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    He just asked what we were having for dinner - I said I wasnt doing him any and asked him could he not understand why I was annoyed, but he just ignores me. He's not a talker, just walks away or blames it on me or someone else, or thinks he has the raw deal!
     
  5. sassybaby

    sassybaby Mother of 1 & Pregnant :)

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    Totally understand where you are coming from men can be so frustrating at times I feel exactly the same I think my hormones are way up at the moment Im stressing over things I wouldnt usually and am getting really frustrated all the time which keeps bringing me to tears arrrrhhh I feel like screaming MEN hey.
     
  6. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    I have only had 2 outbursts so far in this pregnancy - but last pregnancy I was soo stressy but ended up having a stressy baby so Im trying to keep calm. I think I was worse in the 3rd trimester so hope that doesnt happen again, especially as I have ds.


    Do you find that the in-laws give the impression that the son is hard done by?
    I do ...... my oh tends to wind me up but then sit there all quiet in front of others whilst I moan at him ... so I end up looking like the bad guy!
     
  7. Nats21

    Nats21 Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean, little things that normally wouldn't bother me have me in tears sometimes! Try and have a word with him though chocolate and tell him you need some support x
     
  8. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    He just looks at me like he doesnt know what the hell Im talking about! He just doesnt seem to think outside of the box - about how I may feel - and tbh I think he just knows doing what I ask will mean hardwork so he just gives up before he tries. Especially when it comes to ds
     
  9. booflebump

    booflebump Mummy to Toby

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  10. sassybaby

    sassybaby Mother of 1 & Pregnant :)

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    Thats me all over I had such a bad time with my 1st pregnancy because I was on my own and my Son was very stressful still can be and he is 6 lol I think the 1st trimester is soooo hard I can't stop worrying about everything and I think Im taking it all out on my partner but he don't help matters either and they also don't understand whats going on with our bodies either.
     
  11. Nats21

    Nats21 Well-Known Member

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    I second the hug! :hugs: x
     
  12. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    My son is 18 months and is a bit of a stresshead ...... can only blame myself as when I get stressed I will shout 'aaarghh' even though I really try not to! Need to work on that as Im sure ds copies my strops - so hoping if I stay calm then he will learn to be calm and so will the new baby .................... please Santa can I have one of those babies that will sleep in a cot and doesnt cry if not being held .......... DS would only sleep on my chest and scream his head off unless being held by me, hated the car, hated the buggy .... I was a zombie for months! Still looking forward to the next little rascal - mothers love rules!
     
  13. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the hugs ladies, need them tonight, almost cancelled the in-laws coming tomorrow as I know they will wind me up by making oh even lazier - but havent done as I know I will enjoy the evening in the end and so will ds
     
  14. sassybaby

    sassybaby Mother of 1 & Pregnant :)

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    Ahh I know exactly what you are going through with your ds I went through a terrible time with mine he slept with me till he was 4 lol he had to have me in eye view or he would scream his head off was very hard but even now he can be hard which is my own doing as I mothered him too much Im defo going to try the layed back approach next time round :hugs: x
     
  15. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    Snap lol!! Im also going to try my hardest to be a bit more laid back - but with your first, if your baby cries and you are just sat watching tv, you go to your baby - where as this time if Im changing ds's nappy or something and cant get to the baby, then it will have to wait.
    I had such strong instincts last time though - felt sad if he was crying and just had to get to him asap and didnt want others to look after him, so he got used to just me. I hope that next time I will let others help more, but who knows what hormones I will get next time!

    I do love having a Mummies boy though - those special cuddles, and knowing how much he loves me and that Im his favourite person, its such a special bond as I know its returned.


    Fingers crossed we still get all the cuddles but less crying and a bed to ourselves! DS went into a single bed with a bedguard at a year old, but still wakes regularly just for me to tell him to lay down - he obviously loves hearing my cross voice lol!
     
  16. sassybaby

    sassybaby Mother of 1 & Pregnant :)

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    Ahh they can be such lil monkey's but at the same time you love them sooo much and let them have what they want Im such a softie when it comes to my ds. that made me laugh when you said he must like your cross voice :) I used to always have to do that with my ds when I managed to get him in his own bed :) Im not going to make that mistake this time though I used to let him get in my bed just so I could get some sleep because he never woke when he was in my bed but I have to be VERY strong this time but its easier said than done :kiss:
     
  17. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    thats what I did in the end - I remember telling the midwife when he was about 6 weeks that I had to prop myself up on a pillow and have a pillow under each elbow and ds asleep on my chest, just to get some sleep. In the end he would settle next to me and thats how it stayed for a year as its the only way I would get some sleep!

    I will try this time to not jump to every cry in the hope that the new baby will settle in a cot with me next to him/her but I know that I could quite easily end up with one of them back in bed if I dont get much sleep - I will need it!
    I found tackling the sleep issue much easier at 18 months than 6 months so I dont mind co-sleeping againt ill then if it means I spend the first 18 months not worrying.



    But we are going to have babies that sleep through in their cots from 8 weeks you know - so no need to worry!
     
  18. sassybaby

    sassybaby Mother of 1 & Pregnant :)

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    I hope so that would be fab :)
     
  19. Pluto13

    Pluto13 Well-Known Member

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    whats ds?
     
  20. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    Yep I hear ya Hun! They all piss in the same pot! Lol! My oh sometimes does not get it! I'm tired, my hormones are everywhere and he is out left right and centre getting pissed while I'm stuck in! He isn't going out any more that we both would normally at this time of year but god dammit! If I can't get merry than he should suffer too! Ha ha ha! I've lost it twice - I never usually lose my rag! He says I've turned into a paranoid schizophrenic!!!!!
     

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